Black Saturday - in more ways than one

Gentlemen,

I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Oakwood game, to ride out the storms of winter, and to outlive the menace of the off season, if necessary for months, if necessary alone.

At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of the Commissioner's office. That is the will of the players and the league.

The Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club and indeed, all free wifflers everywhere, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death, or the end of nine innings, whichever comes first, their asphalt,  aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.

Even though many a Saturday has fallen into the grip of family obligation or the ill-scheduled OCC basketball tournament, we shall not flag or fail.

We shall go on to the end, we shall play in Kettering, we shall play in Beavercreek, we shall play in Riverside, if necessary; we shall pitch and hit with growing confidence and growing strength, we shall defend our park, whatever the cost may be, we shall play on the macadam, we shall play on the grass, we shall play on the fields and in the streets, we shall play in the hills; we shall never quit, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this game or a large part of it were re-scheduled or undermanned, then our game beyond the Miami Valley, suited and seated by able wifflers, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, a new game, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.


The Wifflers played A LOT of wiffle these past two days. Two more today. Matt stunk, completely (well deserved after the fit of hubris from the last blog entry). Glen and Kurt, on opposite teams each produced four runs. The difference was Peter, with two additional RBI putting Kurt and He on top in game 1.  Did I mention that Matt was awful? 1 for 12, though he pitched "ok".


After that was over, mercifully, Dave had the brilliant idea that we should play another, this time everyone having to pitch underhand. Dave's idea. Remember that. 


Dave surrendered 19 runs in the top of the first.  This lead proved insurmountable, believe it or not. Matt didn't do much hitting off the underhand stuff, either, though he pitched "ok." This one ended 31-8, which is a ridiculous score. There were multiple grand slams by the winners, and Kurt was struck out looking by Matt. Underhand. It was a crazy pitch. You had to be there.


Here are some nice pictures:

Game 3

Game 4

The whole enchilada.

Congrats to Kurt for being onthe winning team four times. Sincere congratulations.

Black Friday DOUBLE HEADER

Yes, you read that headline right. We, the men of Oakwood Wiffle and Ale played not 1, not 3, but TWO games today. Hu-ah!! Bestriding the asphalt from 9:30 until 13:10, grappling with a low, strong sun through two six-inning games, we are better and bigger for the experience. And we've got the experimental scoresheet to prove it:

And more than one of us will be feeling it tomorrow morning. IBUPROFEN!!

Glen laid down the verbal gauntlet before game 1, insisting that any combination of players would beat the teaming of Kurt and Dave. The Commish disallowed a 4-on-2 game and placed Brent on the side with the fireballers.

Close until the closing innings, this 4-1 contest was won by the side that Glen guaranteed would lose. Dave alone had enough RBI to win this one, while hitting for the cycle. Stats is largely responsible for this cycle; he dropped the triple, which he lost in the sun (sorry, Peter), and he pitched the homer ball, which Dave absolutely crushed. As can be seen in the tallies, the winners were largely able to pitch around Glen's two extra base hits, which is surprisingly under-productive for a batter getting underhand pitches. (Glen would exact his pond of flesh in game two, however.)

Dave pitched great (lost count of the Beltrans) and made one of two noteworthy catches - a full sprint into foul territory to catch a foul pop. The other was a nifty snag by Glen in the doorway of a line drive stung by Kurt. Much leather was flashed when it wasn't popped into the sun.

Glen, Matt, Peter - 1 run, 15 hits
Brent, Dave, Kurt - 4 runs, 15 hits

After the first game, with the temps getting very comfortable, four of the six decided, "Shoulders be damned, we can play another RIGHT NOW."  And so we did.

A much more offensive game, which featured a difficult sun. See below what the batters saw as they faced Dave for instance:

Note that Dave is in the sun, but the ball disappears into the shadows. Balls hit with any loft were no fun to catch, neither. Well, the game was over before the shoulders got sore anyway, as Peter, pitchin' like Commissioner Bud Selig, allowed 8 runs in the first, and Glen, pitchin' like my grandmother, allowed 8 more in the second. Dave returned from Black Friday shopping to pitch a scoreless third, and then the scoring took off again.  In the end, Matt and Kurt tallied 19 runs on 29 hits. Matt had a particularly fine set of figures for the full day: 20-for-33, 3 doubles, 2 triples and 12 RBI.

Glen was able to make it interesting with his bat. He smacked three 3-run homers in the second game (all off Kurt!), and had another (solo) shot caught well beyond the homer line.

Kurt, Matt - 19 Runs, 29 Hits
Glen, Peter, Dave - 9 runs, 14 hits

Congrats to Kurt for being on the winning side in both ends of the twin-bill.

Shoulders need their rest as we are determined to play again tomorrow morning.  Here's your chance to finally hit off some really tired arms. Come on out for a game at 9:30 am.

Game Sans Pizza

Vanity, thy name is Cebulash.  Get him to a nunnery.

This is the Way the Season Ends

While many of you were bird-doggin' chicks and bangin' beaver, or bearing witness to the bar mitzvah of your boy, or beatin' out that rhythm on a bongo, the real boys of the base-paths were blastin' balls out of the Bradds and bearing witness to the end of another bucolic season.    In honor of the end of the season I've composed a little ditty (with apologies to T.S.E. and everyone else): 

THE WIFFLE MEN

Mistuh Kurt - he dead.

I.

We are the wiffle men
We are the summer men
Leaning together
Caps filled not with hair, but with flesh
Our lyric voices, now dry,
When we speak together,
Are weak and lifeless
As wind across dry asphalt
Or squirrels feet over basalt
In our dry cellar

Pitch without form, bat without colour,
Arthritc force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to the season's other Kingdom
Remember us -- if at all -- not as lost
listless players, but only
As the wiffle men
The summer men.


II

Stats I dare not meet in dreams
In the season's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the stats are
Sunlight on a cracked field
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading bloop single.

Let me be no nearer
In the season's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Capri pants, soiled sweatshirts
On a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer --


III.

The rest of the players are not here
There are no players here
In this valley of dying days
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost season

On this last day
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this field of the tumid school


IV

Here we go round the chalk lines
The Chalk lines, the chalk lines
Here we go round the chalk lines
At nine o'clock in the morning


V

Between the lawn chair
And the batter's box
Between the pitch
And the swing
Falls the Shadow

For this is the end of the season

This is the way the season ends
This is the way the season ends
This is the way the season ends
Not with a whimper, but with twenty-three runs from the artist

Theorizing

Brent Mackintosh, future Italian citizen, deftly organized a Thursday Theory at Tanks this week. Seven folks showed up, including the likes of Matt, Peter, Tim, Glen, Republican Dave and Nurse Chris. Kurt, who was taken ill, missed maybe his second theory of the year.

(After a general round of well wishing on Kurt's behalf, the assembled wifflers preceded to make him the butt of many jokes and laughs. We never toasted his beloved Cardinals, either.)

There were multiple pitchers of Yuengling shared by all (except for.. Chris, who insisted on Sam Adams). May I say at this point, I do not understand how you folks can take in that much beer? My half mug had my stomach in knots the rest of the night.

And there was good discussion of ways to make the stats reflect one's Theory attendance. The stats should measure the things we value, and The Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club values Theory attendance. Can't we find a way to factor that into your batting average? There were also good suggestions from Peter and Glen, who insisted it was his idea in the first place.

Note that Brent is not fully in the picture, here. This is because he was intermittently dealing with the Tank's crack staff scheduling....

The Wiffies!!!! 

Yes, mark your calendars for the 4th Annual Wiffie Banquet: January 13, 2012.  

Special guests scheduled to appear... don't miss it!!!

2011 Finale??????

Wiff-Fall Play ended with a blow out and then a walk off, as the final two games were played on October 22 and October 29.

On the 22nd, seven gamers showed for a delayed start at 10:30. Highlights of the morning included Laura Hume surrendering a mere 6 runs and recording 3 outs! She also had 2 singles along the way. Also, Han-Soo batted away Kurt Mosser's attempt at a double play, protecting the box. This "innovation" was frowned upon, and deemed "interference" and the double play was credited to Kurt.

The game saw the return of the prodigal nurse, Chris Anderson, who managed 2 hits on the day, and allowed but the one run. Kurt swatted his 15th, and final, home run of the season, a two run shot in the third off Glen.

OCTOBER 22

Glen, Han-Soo, Matt - 14
Chris, Eric, Kurt, Laura - 2

W: Lindsay
L: Zamonski

Yesterday was a morning for the stalwarts (except Glen): 35 degrees, maybe, at 9 am, though it was a sunny sky and little or no wind. "Playable" was the commish's call. Peter, Kurt and Matt played a round of 1-on-1-on-1.  Matt took an early lead with 2 off Peter the first time he pitched and another on his second turn at the bump. Peter and Kurt spent the rest of the morning chipping away at the 3 run lead.

Kurt got 2 off Matt in the first inning. Peter scored two off Matt as well during his fourth inning pitched. That included Peter's 10th home run of the season. Peter joins Kurt (15) and Glen (11) with double digits in homers.

Peter pitched the final half inning facing Kurt. Matt held a slim 3-2-2 lead. Peter managed only one out and Kurt strung together 5 hits to plate two. The last hit, a walk off single to drive in the fourth run of the day, came on the season's 2,011th AB. How cool is that? So, as with his beloved Cards' dramatic October trip to the World Championship, Kurt Mosser ended his terrific wiffle season in walkoff style!

OCTOBER 29

Matt - 3
Peter - 2
Kurt - 4

W: Mosser
L: Berwald

All stats up to date through October 29.

W is for...

Those that showed for a little Sunday Wiffle played 1-on-1-on-1, sans scoresheet, because G is for Glen didn't come to tally the marks.

The K is for Kurt, who continues to bemoan the fate of the Cardinals. P is for Peter "Pumpkin Artist" Berwald, who could have and should have scored more runs today.

There was unfortunately something on the lens and I can't quite make out who that third player was.  It's clear that he was no threat with the bat. Word is he gave up five of the six runs chalked. Someone was overheard to say, "It's like having Brent here!" I deduce from that statement that it was, in fact, not Brent. Simple logic.

The parade of hits off the mystery player are of no interest to the discerning reader. Rather let us delve into the first run - a home run surrendered by Peter on the first pitch of the game to Kurt. Today, the wall giveth and taketh.

Kurt smacked a high one to the roof, and it never came down. Here's a closer look:

This was ruled a "home run," giving Kurt a lead he never surrendered.

Kurt - 5
???? - 0
Peter - 1

[W is for wuss: for not owning up to my lousy day on the asphalt.]

Wi-FALL Ball

So if you were told that the following players met to enjoy some plastic bat and ball play this morning:

Peter Berwald

Glen Cebulash

Dave Eldridge

Matt Lindsay

Kurt Mosser

Could you guess what the teams were? Of course you could because the rubric is to place the worst player or players with Kurt. Thus, Kurt was shackled to Glen and Matt, to "versus" (as my kids are wont to say) Peter and Dave. Let it be noted here: this was not Peter's idea, Glen suggested it, and Peter said "ok."

Now, could you guess who, amongst these five pitchers, was the only one to NOT surrender a run? Here you are thinking that I am using some sort of reverse psychology, and that the answer is Glen, the underhanded wonder-kind. But, HA! You have been caught because your interlocutor knows that you know of this reverse psychological technique, and it is utter folly to imagine that Glen would surrender no runs in a whole game, much less any inning, with those ridiculous pitches he's arcing toward the plate these days. No, the answer is Matt, and that of course means that both Dave and Kurt allowed a run today: exactly one each! This was the first game all season that Mosser and Eldridge both allowed runs.

Next, can you guess who hit for the cycle? Of course you can't. It was a trick question, anyway, because two players did it.  The obvious one is Glen, the Artist, because of the steady diet of underhand pitches he receives.  Glen went 9-for-11, with a double, FOUR triples, and a home run.  The other was Peter Bewald, posting a more modest 9-for-15 with a double, a triple and a home run.

But oh, what a homer it was!!

You see, in the top of the sixth, Peter pitching, the visiting crew mounted what might have at other times been referred to as "the greatest come-back in wiffle history," as Glen's fourth triple cleared the loaded bases to tie the score at 5. This came 6 batters after Glen's lead off solo home run to start the frame. Too bad for Glen-Kurt-Matt they were not able to hit a visitor walk off, or get an insurance run with the score tied, because, pitching the now suddenly necessary BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, was one Glen Cebulash.

When your team scores a crooked number to tie the game, what do you need from your pitcher next inning? A SHUTDOWN INNING. What did we say earlier about Glen's pitching?

 it is utter folly to imagine that Glen would surrender no runs in a whole game, much less any inning

Well, he almost did that very folly.  Putting down the first two batters with a ground out and a fly out.  Then he gave up a harmless single. Then Peter came to the bat.  Peter smacked a very high, very deep, home-run depth shot straight to center - currently patrolled by one Matt Lindsay. Matt was currently engaged in a good convo with one Kurt Mosser about Chris Carpenter and the broader notion of a "shutdown inning."  Let's just say Matt did not take an optimal route to this deep fly ball - he turned the wrong way. He did get his outstretched full hand on the ball, and came close to squeezing it for the final out - but did not and it fell for the second true walk off homer of the year.

(This is not to say that had I taken a better route to the ball, I would have caught it; you just can't know that.)

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 5

Dave, Pete - 7

W: Berwald

L: Cebulash

Beltran-Themed Bonus Question: Can you guess which player had FOUR Beltrans (as a batter) today? Ah, I see that was an easy one. Yes, it was of course, Dave Eldridge, all when facing Kurt Mosser. This tied a record previously the exclusive domain of one Brent Mackintosh.

Wiffle Postseason begins - Nightly Wiffle this week?

Game one of the 2011 Wiffle Postseason featured two teams looking to prove they had more than brains.  As it worked out, while Mosser and Hume talked "Constructing Communities", Berwald and Lindsay talked "Building the Big Inning."

No lack of hits in the first inning and a half, but neither team was able to score.  Prof. Hume took the mound in the bottom of the second, allowing 12 hits, recording 1 out, but reaching the inning-run rule limit of 10. Lindsay drove in 6 and da Commish 4.

Prof. Mosser drove in a run off Berwald in the top of the fourth with help from Prof. Hume's 3rd and 4th hits of the evening (Hume went 4-for-10 on the day and raised her season's average to .174, just ahead of Ben's .167.)

But.. it wasn't enough as Peter turned a nifty double play to end the contest.

Laura, Kurt - 1
Matt, Peter - 10

W: Berwald
L: Hume

Note:
Kurt Mosser hit no batters in his two innings of work. He also allowed no runs and lowered his ERA to 1.43.

Matt drew crappy foul lines and reversed the "H" and "V" on the scoreboard.

The weather is gonna be great all week! So how many games can we get in this week? Post Season: All hands on deck!!

Rainout

Just like the majors.

Glorified BP

Humid and cool, only three players, so we played 1 on 1 on 1, but chose to keep only the chalk score. No paper. As can be seen by the final tallies, lotsa hits, lotsa runs. Nobody pitched great, but Dr. Mosser explained that he was "experimenting." This is apparently not the same as "practicing."

Somewhere along the morning Matt had a leaping left hand grab - with his cell phone in his right - taking a homer away from Peter. He had received an important text from his sister-in-law in Binghamton, NY. But the Lindsays taketh, and the Lindsays giveth away.  Same inning Peter hit a long fly ball in Emma Lindsay's direction and she ... let it bounce off her hands and over the home run line.

Later Emma had a nice single off Kurt; if we kept score, she'd be batting .500. That's my girl.

As the morning wore on, Matt ran out of gas but gutted through a long inning with Peter batting. Probably gave up at least half of those fourteen runs. In fairness to Kurt, he did not get his fourth time at bat because I had to get Emma to soccer.

Peter - 14
Kurt - 9
Matt, Emma - 7

Where to start?

Ok! Saturday Morning Wiffle. Here are the rules: Watch the Wiff Cards slide show and list the first four wifflers you see in order. NO CHEATING!!

The guy who takes the mound and throws all kinds of crazy pitches and even alternates (pitch-by-pitch) between underhand and overhand pitches; ends up giving up 3 runs anyway. Goes 3-for-12 at the plate, but makes the critical outs with runners in scoring position all day, including 2 Beltrans in the final inning, one with the bases loaded to end the game.  .... Matt Lindsay


The guy with the bum shoulder who pitches wiffle balls underhand, but then manages two scoreless innings, including 2 strikeouts.  Induces three straight ground balls in one inning after getting in a first and third jam. Goes 10-for-13 at the plate, but manages only 1 RBI because his team mate is no help. .... Glen Cebulash


The guy who stayed up way too late watching pornography from central Europe, but still pitches two solid innings, allowing only one run. Uses a tomahawk swing to go 6-for-12 at the plate but can't drive in a single run because his team mate is REALLY inept. .... Eric Zamonski


The guy who threw three scoreless innings, including 7 strikeouts, and didn't surrender a run lowering his ERA to a Dave-beating 1.48, but was disappointed that he only hit one batter in the head. Groused about not getting a fair call on a hit to the roof, costing him an RBI on a day that he got 3 of his team's 4 RBI. Hit into 2 double plays.   ... Kurt Mosser


A contentious day from the start as Glen and Matt argued over whether Eric would show. Matt threw fits when Glen struck him out.. and then REALLY lost  it when he discovered that Kurt and Glen declined to record any of the fourth inning on the scoresheet.

Kurt was pissed when a shot he hit to the purple area of this picture....

was declared foul by the pitching team.  This led to angry words. Glen was upset when Eric fielded a grounder with his feet outside the Mosser box, but hand in the box and it was declared an out.  Glen was incensed when Matt took not one but two phone calls while pitching the first inning, and later made a third call while pitching the third. Get a life.

Anyway, without Peter it was the wiffle equivalent of



Live long and prosper!

Controversy!

What looked like might be a wee bit chilly turned into a great morn - -

Sorry, can't blog. Gotta take this call. Really, sorry.

Away Game

Banished from Nance Bradds by a dozen or so parked cars, four intrepid Thursday Night wifflers, went to Kettering in search of open ground. Hastily drawn lines generous to the hitter were sketched, and a very large strike zone was chalked on the wall and we were underway.

In the hitter-friendly confines of Roush Field, the lonely outfielder has a lot of ground to cover:

And the balls were flying in this place.

With the game scoreless entering the second inning, da Commish took the mound and made some history. Bad history. Not Dresden bad, not 20 runs bad, but noteworthy, for sure.

To this day in this season no game had featured more than 3 home runs, total.  Today, Kurt Mosser hit three home runs - in an inning. To date, obviously, no pitcher had ever surrendered three home runs to the same batter in one game. That unfortunate record now falls on Peter.

And Prof. Mosser went on to hit a fourth dinger, which is the most ever in a single game. So there is really only one way to respond:

Yes, the books must be balanced.

Matt, Kurt - 9

Glen, Peter - 5

W: Mosser

L: Berwald

The Emperor of Statistics

The Emperor of Statistics, as the parable has it, has sent you, the humble wiffler, a message as you cower in the remotest corner of the Imperial fields.  The message has been sent to you alone.


The Emperor has commanded the messenger to kneel by his lawnchair and has whispered the message to him.  So important is this message to the Emperor that he ordered the messenger to whisper it back to him.  


Upon confirmation of its correctness the messenger sets off on his appointed task.  The messenger is a powerful, unflappable  and determined man, pushing ahead, first with his right arm and then with his left; he cleaves his way through the throngs of spectators.  If he encounters resistance he simply points to his chest which bears the insignia of the Imperial Stat.  But the masses are vast and have no end.  If he could just reach the grass how fast he would fly and soon you would welcome the tip of his cap at your lonely station.  Instead, he vainly wears out his strength, having not even made it past the batter's box.  Never will he even head toward first base.  And, if he succeeded in that nothing would be gained for he would next have to fight his way to second and, if he succeeded in that still nothing would be gained, as it would be third and so on and so on for thousands of years: and if at last he should suddenly dart to left field, the multitudes would be as thick and deep as eternity.  Nobody could fight his way to you, not even with a message from a dead man.  But, you stand at your position as the sun rises high over the park and you dream it to yourself.

The Stat Story

A heads-up for anyone who didn't see this note at Stathead or BBTF... At 10 p.m. on 9/18, MLB Network is running a special Behind The Seams called "The Stat Story" -- a documentary (narrated by Bob Costas) about the history of sabermetrics, as well as its spread into front offices over the past few decades.

Woo-Hoo!!!

Bringin' da Junk

Six wifflers were assembled at the appointed hour for the Labor of Wiffle Ball on Labor Day morn.  Republican Dave, Stats and the Commish hubristicly took the field confident in a blow out win because Glen was on the other team.

Fools.

Glen pitched decently, though found himself unable to hit many of the underhand pitches he received. It was Eric Zamonski, who arrived in the second inning, who made ALL the difference. Reader, I ask you to decide what was the more important of Eric's contributions today. Your choices:

1. Eric was added to the Visiting team of Glen, Han-Soo and Kurt. Adding Eric allowed them to push back Glen's underhand pitching to the fourth inning, and also made sure that Glen would only pitch once. With an ERA of 27.00 (that's three runs per INNING), minimizing Glen's IP is a positive strategy.

2. Eric pitches some good $hi##y junk, to borrow a phrase. The ball looks like it comes out of his elbow and you don't know where it's gonna go. Up? Down? Tail away? Dave (R-OH) had him figured out (4-for-5 off him for the day), but Matt and Peter were stymied by him in the third.

But rules are rules, and Glen must eventually pitch. And so he did, but REALLY well. Seriously. He ended up allowing just 2 runs on a 2 RBI triple by Dave. But he followed that up with a ridiculous strike out of Stats to end the threat right there.

[Matt, who was due to pitch next, fell into a little tantrum from that strikeout and then hit the first batter he faced in the ribs who was Kurt for which he was not sorry at the time, but he is now. That has no place in the game no matter how good it feels (and sounds!).]

The 2-0 lead held for a while, until Eric (who you may recall MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE) allowed three more in the bottom of the 7th. A merry-go-round of singles did all the damage, with 2 RBI from Matt and 1 from Peter.

It made the difference because Matt, pitching again in the top of the 8th, allowed two runs from a bases loaded double by the aforementioned Kurt Mosser (who must have really enjoyed those particular RBI, and deservedly so). In fact, he went opposite field for that double in a classic hit where they ain't. Or weren't. But the three run lead did hold as Glen, representing the tying run, flew out to end the game.

Glen, Han-Soo, Kurt, Eric - 2
Dave, Matt, Peter - 5

W: Eldridge
L: Cebulash

NOTES!!
Kurt passed Han-Soo in the batting title race with a 7-for-10 day, while Han-Soo (and the new doo) managed only 4-for-10. Kurt, now batting .527 is now 0.002 ahead of Han-Soo's .525. Riveting (labor reference).

Dave pitched three scoreless innings, lowering his ERA to an even 1.50. Kurt was similarly effective, but only pitched two innings. Kurt's ERA dropped less and now stands at 1.63.  Both men allowed two hits; Dave K'd 6, Kurt K'd 5.

Peter Berwald managed to stay one strikeout ahead of Matt (81 to 80) in the race to be the King of K's (as a batter).

There were no homers today and Kurt and Glen remain deadlocked at 10.

Profile in Wiffle Courage: Glen Cebulash

Lesser wifflers have ended their seasons with a bum shoulder. Not Glen "The Artist" Cebulash. The man can't lift his canvases any more, and he can't pitch overhand any more. But is he NOT painting? I don't think so. Is he NOT wiffling? No, he is NOT not wiffling. He is gutting it out on the hot asphalt of Nance Bradds field every Saturday, no matter what.

Glen hurt his shoulder in mysterious circumstances, and is only able to pitch underhand. This has not helped his ERA, at all.  On the other hand, Da Commish agreed that in turn he should only be pitched to underhand, and that has certainly helped his batting average.

Today, Glen was responsible for 100% of the runs scored. And there were a LOT of runs scored today. For example, Glen led off the top of the fifth with a deep, soaring solo home run off Dave Eldridge. This ruined the shutout that Dave and Peter had going to this point. (It also really tightened the ERA race as Dave's ERA rose to 1.64, while Kurt's 1 scoreless inning pitched lowered his ERA to 1.70! Fantastic drama, I'm sure the reader will agree.) (It ALSO tied him in the Home Run race with Kurt Mosser at 10. DOUBLE DIGITS, baby!)

It is Glen's mound work where his true character shines. In his prime, a crafty righty was he. Now? Well, let's say.. the batters are catching up to his stuff. After holding Dave and Pete to a mere five runs in the second, Glen was touched up for twenny in the fifth.

Yup. 20. 

Tying Laura Hume for the worst single inning in the Statistical Era.

But the smile never left Glen's face. He loves this game, Ladies and Gentlemen and Eric. And we love him.

--------------------------------------------------------------

We cannot overlook some astounding numbers on the day: Pete and Dave had good days with the bat (when Matt or Kurt were not pitching).

Dave: 16-for-17 off Glen, 3 2b, 2 3b, HR, 17 RBI off Glen. 2-for-6 off Kurt/Matt

Pete: 14-for-19 off Glen, 2 3b, 8 RBI. 1-for-5 off Kurt/Matt.

And obviously, these two both pitched well, too. 

Dave: 3 IP, 1 R, 2 hits, HR, 2 K.

Peter: 3 IP, 0 R, 5 hits, 2 K.

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 1

Peter, Dave - 25

W: Berwald

L: Cebulash

Careful examination of the scoresheet revealed that the final score was actually 25-1.

Mac

Just now available from Da Commish. Will be in the Wiff Cards Slideshow in about a day.

Statistics vs. Stories

Recommended for you is a recent blog post by Joe Posnanski, in which he sort of meanders around the question of whether statistics are killing the soul of sport.

Then We Played 2

All up and down the eastern seaboard, mayors are busy issuing evacuation orders, and pleading with residents to stay indoors and remain sheltered from Hurricane Irene. Baseball games in Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York were rained out. In Boston... they decided to play a double header.

"Ignore the emergency management professionals. Come gather, 30,000 strong, in an outdoor location and watch us pummel the lowly A's."

Not to be outdone, Commissioner Berwald decided we should play 2 wiffle games this weekend. And so 5 were met this morning, in even better weather than yesterday, for bat-and-ball pleasantries. And the outcome couldn't have been any more different than yesterday's 0-0 tie.

The visitors took the initial lead with a 2-out, 2-Brents-batted-in triple from Glen in the top of the first inning. In the second inning the Day of Brent would continue as he smashed his first homer of the season off Stats - a 2-run shot!  All told, Brent was killing it with the bat - 7-for-14, 2b, HR, 2 RBI. This line complemented well that of The (cycle-hitting) Artist (10-for-13, 3 2b, 3b, HR, 7 RBI), and resulted in their 9-run total on the day. Kurt, who apparently behaved last night as if he were not going to be playing wiffle the next morning, mustered only a 5-for-13 performance. Kurt seemed to be hitting comebackers to the mound all morning.

Kurt did hold up his end on the mound, though, facing the minimum through 2 innings, with 4 Ks (lowering his ERA to 1.74).  Brent and Glen.. not so much.

Offense in wiffle, like love, comes in spurts.  Brent was touched up for 13 runs in the bottom of the first - 8 coming after 2 were out. Da Commish and Stats managed four more runs off Prof. Cebulash in the third, again all four coming with 2 out, to complete their 17 run total. Brent had a good fourth inning, setting 'em down 1-2-3, including a Beltran for Peter. Glen did not have to pitch again. Commish and Stats put forth a pretty balanced attack overall; Peter (11-for-19, 3 2b, 3b) had 10 RBI, while Matt (11-for-18, 2 2b, 3b) had 7 RBI.

Truly, today there were enough runs for two games.

Brent, Glen, Kurt - 9
Peter, Matt - 17

W: Berwald
L: Mackintosh

9 large tally marks are still not more than 17

Dang! Another tie.

Taking note of the recent passing, apparently by suicide, of Oriole great Mike Flanagan, Matt did three things:

1. He wore the 1975 - 1988 Orioles cap:

These years spanned all of Flanny's great years with the Birds.

2. When he took the mound in the bottom of the second, he threw his first pitch left handed. Not a strike, but it did hit the wall on the fly.

3. He took it a step too far when he went ahead and batted like Mike Flanagan... for the whole game. In a major league career spanning 18 seasons, Mike Flanagan had all of 7 plate appearances - all coming in World Series play (talk about pressure). All told, he went 0-for-6 with one walk in his career with the bat. That was much better than Stats' time with the bat today.

In a two-on-two game like today, one slumping batter can kill a lineup, because of course, he's every other batter. On a day when Kurt went 5-for-11, including a triple and 2 doubles, Stats' 0-for11, 8K and grounding into a DP was a killer. Over and over again. Needless to say, they managed no runs off Dave (3 IP, 2H, 7K) or the Commish (3 IP, 3H, 4K).

On the other hand, they didn't surrender any runs either. Kurt faced 2 over the minimum in his three innings of work, striking out 6. It was Matt who pitched in trouble all day stranding 'em at first and second in the 2nd, first and third in the 4th, and leavin' 'em loaded in the 6th to secure the scoreless tie.

Sad scoreboard - but all set for next weekend!

Kurt, Matt - 0

Dave, Peter - 0

A good day for everyone's ERA, Dave and Kurt matched scoreless innings today and lowered their league leading ERA's to 1.50 and 1.81, respectively.

Han-Soo (0.533) was not in the lineup today, and Kurt fell a little further back in the batting race to 0.529. I'm afraid 5-for-11 just doesn't cut it at that altitude.

Stats are up to date!

Humble thanks to all wifflers for your patience. Games for July 28, July 31, August 13 and August 20 are now all included the stats tables for your perusal and enjoyment.

I know you are giddy, like me. It's why I feel such a bond with you all.

So, there are a couple of tight races in the "rate" stats that should be fun to keep an eye on down the stretch.  They will certainly be more entertaining than any of the major league division races this year.

Batting Title:
Both Han-Soo Ha and Kurt Mosser are blisteringly hot and the absolute minimum 0.001 separates their averages:

Ha - 0.533
Mosser - 0.532

ERA Crown:
Amongst players with more than one inning pitched (welcome back, Ben Montague!), Dave Eldridge and Kurt Mosser are the only two hurlers with ERAs under 2:

Eldridge - 1.67
Mosser - 1.94

Wow! What a game!

There is too much to be said about yesterday's gathering on the asphalt at Nance Bradds Field. There were Oakwood Safety officers, the Treasurer of the Oakwood City School District, a power-washing crew, and.. (are you sitting down?)... NANCE BRADDS HERSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am kicking myself now, trying to figure why we didn't stop the game to get a picture with the Smith Principal. Must have been because the game was so good.

Good for two reasons really:
1. There were nine of us. Nine is huge. Nine in this case includes Ben, back from Maine! And if anyone needed a reminder of how much fun the chatter gets when nine warped minds are acting all at once, here are two choice snippets:

"I think Stats is hungover."
"Too much chocolate milk, last night."
"He must have been dunking Oreos in that milk."

or

"This is a key, dramatic moment in the game. One of them is going to be the hero, the other is going to be the goat."
"Can't you get goat in a gyro?"

Well, maybe they were funnier live. I was still laughing at them the rest of the day even as I primed my kids' bedrooms for re-painting. Funny how they grow up and don't want their 5-year-old rooms anymore.

2. The game was good because it was filled with offense and drama. Stats pitched first and last for the Visitors, and really shouldn't have. Allowing a rocket home run to Dave (R) in the first inning and a soaring, arcing shot (think Gateway Arch) by Kurt in the bottom of the fifth. Kurt's had the additional flair of being a true Walk Off Home Run, so he had more to smile about than witty repartee for the rest of his day.

In between the Visitors did manage to dig out of a 4-0 hole by scratching out a four-spot off Brent. 2-RBI double (Peter) and a 2-RBI triple (Glen) did the damage after they and teammates Eric and Matt set a nice table. And they had Han-Soo on the ropes with bases loaded and none out, but he worked out of it.

Nice days with the bats were had by:
Kurt: 5 for 6, HR, 2 2B, 3 RBI
Dave: 3 for 5, HR, 2 RBI
Glen: 4 for 7. 3B, 2B, 2 RBI
Peter: 4 for 6, 2B, 2 RBI
Han-Soo: 5 for 6, 1 RBI
Brent: 3 for 6
Matt: 3 for 7, 2B

Eric, Glen, Matt, Pete - 4
Ben, Brent, Dave, Han-Soo, Kurt - 7

W: Mosser (gyro)
L: Lindsay (goat)

A Wiff of Underarm

The Artist Transforms the Game

Lacking a minyan for Sabbath wiffle, a game for Sunday morning was hastily organized and four players showed. Well, should we say three and a half, as Glen remains unable to pitch in the classic overhand fashion? Addressing this issue, Glen proposed a novel solution: As he would be pitching exclusively underhand, he would like to be pitched to exclusively underhand. This was posited as a way of balancing the books, shall we say.

There were shrugs all around and no objection. Dave Eldridge insisted that there be no increase in revenues as a part of this deal. He also asked that he be on Glen's team so he wouldn't have to pitch underhand.

So, is Glen here looking to innovate Wiffle on the scale of, say William Webb Ellis and football? Has he created the low-power option for players of Oakwood Wiffle and Ale? Can anyone choose (pre-game) to declare he/she will pitch underhand in return for receiving underhand pitches while at the bat? Please discuss in the comments.

Before you decide to take this option, be advised, Glen allowed 14 runs today, and produced only 2 from the underhand pitching he received. He surrendered 5 in the first, 6 in the third and 3 in the fifth, while his teammate, R-Dave, allowed only a single in two innings pitched and no runs. It was not clear why Glen pitched three innings and Dave only two.

Glen as a batter fared little better, though he did put solid plastic on the high arching pitches he saw. At least three fly outs were caught beyond the homer line, plus another which was not caught due to bad defensive positioning by Matt.  Those two runs raised Kurt's ERA to 1.82.

But Kurt raised his batting average even more, going 10-for-17, including hitting for the cycle. Stats went a good 9-for-17, including 5 doubles. Kurt drove in 10 of the visitors' 14 runs.

Kurt, Matt - 14
Glen, Dave - 3

W: Lindsay
L: Cebulash

Wednesday Night Wiffle, Last Thursday

It was pretty much over right after it got started, but there were blog-worthy performances to note

The Park was hot and muggy, but da Commish kept the others cool with lots of "fanning." Let it never be said that Peter doesn't serve this league.

A courageous (and also fashionably late) Glen Cebulash pitched two innings underhand, and only allowed 5 runs. I dare anyone to try to best that achievement - particularly if you are not on my team.

Boog and Krash feasted on pitching all evening. Kurt raised his average for the season to exactly .500. That is Han-Soo Ha territory, there. Where was Han-Soo, anyway? Where is Hans? Boog is up to .429. Nice, fellers.

Glen's late inning solo shot plated the home team's only tally.

Kurt, Tim - 6
Glen, Peter - 1

W: Mosser
L: Cebulash

The Girls of Summer

[I dug out this old post, from before there was a blog and stats and acceptable pants.  Ironically, it applies today, just as it did then. - The Artist]

There was a dream.....once.  A pastoral dream, a simple dream.  That
dream was wiffle-ball.

But now, that dream is ended.  Where are the boys of summer?  Where have
they gone?  To Maine?  To France?  To Boy Scout camp?  The game, alas,
is no more.

Who now among us is prepared to suit up and play?  Kurt and Glen.
That's right, you heard me, Kurt and Glen.  The last men.

Or....

Maybe they are the first men.  Perhaps, like Romulus and Remus before
them, they will suckle the she-wolf of summer and found a new dream, and
a new league, on the now empty ruins of Smith School playground, where
once, men dreamed.

So go ahead and frolic in your summer manses.  Toss another euro in the
fountain.  Roast one more weenie, but never forget:  there was a dream!

No Game

At exactly 8:28 I received this text from Commissioner Peter Berwald:

I can't play whiff, I don't feel very well.

This was my chance to run this show (for a day)! I gathered all the supplies one needs and headed to Nance Bradds Wiffle Park:

I took da Commish's parking spot. I had chairs, and chalk, a bat and balls. I had cold blue Gatorade. I was going to make the teams....

But only Kurt showed up and I could tell he wasn't serious: he didn't bring a hat. So we haven't played since the All Star Game (but it was good to skip the heat wave).

Remember that this Wednesday is the last Wednesday in July. Come on out for our final Wednesday Wiffle at 6:45.

Wiffie All-Star Saturday!

The OW&AC All Stars took to the field this Saturday, with photog Brian Kollig also in attendance. Look for dramatic action shots from him later.

On a day where the Visiting team won 12 to nothing, and Laura Hume managed to work her ERA to below 100 (now 85.91), the clear All Star MVP was...

Brent Mackintosh - 2011 All Star MVP

Brent Mackintosh is the Cubs' sole representative in the game. Brent's consistent 10-for-15 hitting (9 singles, 1 double) with 4 RBI was unmatched by any other wifflers on the day.  And there was nothing wrong with his pitching, either. 2 IP, 2 hits allowed, no runs and a strikeout. Brent lowered his season ERA to 28.35.

On both sides there was all-star caliber defense. A lot of running down fly balls, particularly Dave's (R-OH) fly balls hit to Stats.

Final ACTUAL Score: 12-0

As has come to be expected for any team that includes Kurt Mosser (who loves the stats, but refuses to take a turn on the scoresheet, or even to chalk his own RBI) the scoresheet and the scoreboard were incomplete for the Visitors.  Several RBI were not credited on the sheet or on the pavement, but ARE most certainly reflected in the stats.

BRENT, Dave, Kurt - 12
Glen, Laura, Matt, Peter - 0

W: Eldridge
L: Hume

Game #17: July 13, 2011

Wiffle History is Made

Remember this new rule?

Well, guess what happened this evening, on the 999th At-Bat of the season.

Yup. Dave put one through the hoop - the west hoop as a matter of fact. With his team down 4-0 in their last at bats as a matter of fact. Off the only remaining pitcher with a 0.00 ERA (Chris Anderson) as a matter of fact.

Frankly, from the outfield, it was not at all apparent that the ball went through the hoop (you can see that the net is damaged) and the ball went through the hoop without hitting the net. But it was clear from the instantaneous and simultaneous reactions of Dave and his team mates that it did go through the hoop.

Congrats, Dave.  You are forever a part of OW&AC history!

Dave, Peter, Tim - 4
Chris, Kurt, Matt - 4

The most remarkable tie-game EVER!

Game#16: July 9, 2011

“My prediction? I predict pain.” Clubber Lang in Rocky lll

Two years ago, Kurt and Brent beat Dave and Pete 2 – 1. So today, the commissioner decided to try those teams again, but this time adding the designated slugger and gold-glove fielder Glen "The Artist" Cebulash, (Glen is in too much shoulder pain to pitch). Glen has rotator cuff pain, a major enemy of wiffle. Glen is also dealing with some leg pain from rough-housing with the boys in Jersey…namely, his son.

This time the game was not so balanced as the Commish and Dave (R-Ohio) ripped Brent for 26 runs. (The score on the pavement read 23 because the straw-that broke the camel’s back and Brent’s shoulder was a 3–run triple by the commish that was never “chalked-up”).

In too much pain to continue, Kurt came in and closed the inning with 3 unhittable pitches to Dave.

Actually, Kurt pretty much pitched like that all day giving up one hit to Dave.

Brent gave up 4 runs in the 1^st inning, 2 in the 3^rd and 20 in the 5^th. 13 runs came with 2 outs.

Brent   3 / 10 hits with 1 RBI (off the Commish).  Wiffing 3 K's and 4 called backward K’s.

Glen    5 / 9   hits with 1 RBI (off Dave R-Ohio) - one hit was a double. 3 K's, 1 F & 1 G.

Kurt     3 / 9   hits with a triple. He had 3 K's and one called K, with 2 F's.

Brent threw    2 K’s, 2 G’s and 4 F’s.

Kurt threw      6 regular K’s, 1 backward K, 2 G’s and 1 F.

Dave 17/26    3 doubles, 1 triple and 1 HR (G.S.) for 15 RBI’s. 4 K's 1 called K, 4 F's.

Peter 15/25    1 double, 2 triples and 11 RBI’s. 4 k's, 3 G's and 2 F's.

Dave threw 7 K’s with two backward K’s getting all of his outs by strike-outs. 

   He gave up 5 hits – 1 run.

Pete threw 5 K’s, 2 looking and 3 backward K’s. He also fielded one grounder and

   had 3 caught balls for outs. The commish gave up 5 hits and one run.

2 Strike, Bandit and Da Commish walk into a bar...

"Rain?" When was this predicted? At 8:30 on Saturday, July 1 st , it was steadily drizzling. Yet, through the rain, an eager Korean braved the conditions northward to Nance Bradd's field. Not to be outdone, Eric the "Bandit" Zimonski came to the same venue from the opposite direction.

At home at the helm, the Commish told the troops to hang on until 9:00 to see if the rain would subside (although neither player read the e-mail as they were at the park).

Magically, at 9:00, the rain ended leaving in its wake only puddles and humidity.

By the time the commish got to the park at 9:20, he assumed, since the field was empty, the game would be cancelled. Then the day changed; in pulled Eric with the eager and fervent look of Brent at a beerfest or the Glen at a chicken-wing jamboree. He had seen me drive by and had swung his car around crossing 2 yards and nearly missing a dog-walker.

"Hans and I were here, ready to go," the Bandit reported. One quick call to Hans (who had driven over to UD) and we were in business. The commish made a few calls in an attempt to have a two on two or more, but no one was available so the decision was made to play one on one on one.

There is no question that having statistics at the game has changed the flavor as well as the general intent of the game (ask Ben!). So the question arose: to keep stats or just to play? Naturally, since all three players are doing pretty well in the stats, the decision was to keep them… no one had mentioned that the Bandit was operating on roughly 2-3 hours of sleep. I would like to add, that this wasn't evident until the 3 rd or 4 th batter when he lost his zeal, his hunger and his e.r.a.

The bandit opened the game at bat, the commish on the hill and Hans in the outfield. Despite getting a couple hits, the inning ended without any runs.

Hans pitched to the "Commish" and had a similar result, two hits, 3 outs.

Then Eric "The Bandit" took the mound and Hans had batting practice. He went 9 for 12 (including four doubles and two triples) knocking in 8 runs and that proved to be all he would need for the game.

The next few rounds yielded the following:

Eric went 5 for 17 with 7 k's at the plate for no runs. He grounded out 4 times and flew out once.

-On the mound he delivered 7 k's, getting the batters out with 3 ground-outs and 2 fly-outs but gave up 13 runs! He looked bedraggled but played-on.

Han's went 13 for 22 spraying 6 singles and hitting 5 doubles and 2 triples earning 8 runs and knocking in 8 RBI's.

Hans wiffed only 3 times and also hit 5 ground outs and e had 1 fly-out. Hans didn't need last raps.

-As a pitcher, he threw 7 k's, forcing 2 fly-outs and 1 missed double play ground-out (gx) for one run against the Commish.

Peter went 12 for 24 (on the day he stranded 7) hitting 4 doubles and 1 triple crossing the plate 6 times earning 6 RBI's. He had 1 ground out and 4 fly outs and, as usual, wiffed a bunch (7 times).

-On the hill he tossed 3 k's, snatched up 4 ground-outs and forced 2 fly-outs for no runs.

Happy Hans-8 Proud Pete-6 Exhausted Eric-0

Profile in Wiffle Courage: Han-Soo Ha

Let us take time now to note the achievement that is Han-Soo Ha's 2011 wiffle season. Keep in mind that Han-Soo entered the year with a bum pitching shoulder, and there was debate amongst the factions of the Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club as to how and whether he may be used as a .. designated hitter.

But play he has, hitting and pitching. In fact, Han-Soo is fourth in the league in innings pitched with 20. Those who have faced him this season realize that the blazing stuff he had last year is no more. And the ERA above 4  is testament to that. But with regular effort, and a studious attention to craft, Han-Soo is mastering his new submarine pitching motion. And when he gets that release point mastered - watch out. He'll be back to his un-hittable ways.

And the most remarkable fact about this comeback from the wiffle brink, is that all the while he has been working on this new pitch he has been batting over .500 all year - through 14 games.


In his own words, "What a wonderful day! I improved my ERA and reduced batting AVG. However I can't achieve these again, because I grow familiar with my new pitching." Inspiring.


In Wednesday Night Wiffle, Han-Soo pitched 2 more innings, and surrendered three runs. Batting just 3-for-9 (with 2 RBI) lowered his season's batting average to exactly .500 (55-for-110). His were two of his team's 3 runs scored on the night. 


That was not enough to counter the 8 scored by the combination of Peter, Kurt and a late arriving Stats, including 2 from Kurt's longball in the third. Kurt now joins the three-homer logjam with Glen and Kim. Peter contributed 4 RBI with 10-for-15 hitting, including a double.


Kurt, Peter, Matt - 8
Tim, Eric, Han-Soo - 3


W: Berwald
L: Baker

Game Story - June 25, 2011

Taut, Back-and-Forth Affair Blown Open Late

Bright sun and warm (nearly hot) temperatures made this morning feel like the first wiffle game of the Summer. Outfielders were congregating in the shade as the pitchers were warming up; dugout chairs were pushed back against the bricks. Definitely time to bring water with you to Nance Bradds Field.

Homestanding Peter, Han-Soo and Eric took an early lead in the bottom of the first, with two runs off Matt. Single-Triple-Single got the first run in. Kurt still feels he should have caught the triple, but, hey, it's a magic season for Han-Soo, who got the RBI.  Matt then induced a ground ball, and forgot where the runners were and made an ill-advised double play attempt (one of four failed double plays on the day). That credited an RBI to the Commish. Having recently got his ERA below 4, Matt was due to give up a run or two.

After perfect halves in the second from Pete (top) and Kurt (bottom) the Visitors began to chip away at the lead.

Glen hit the longball of the day, a solo homer that split the outfielders off Han-Soo in the third. 2-1 Homeboys. Kurt doubled in a run off Eric in the fourth to knot the game at 2.

Then the pitching took over for a few innings:
Bottom 4 - Matt scattered three hits while striking out the side, including a bases-loaded Beltran for Hans.
Top 5 - Peter's second 1-2-3 inning.
Bottom 5 - Kurt's second 1-2-3 inning.
Top 6 - Han-Soo strikes out the side, 1-2-3.
Bottom 6 - Glen works around one single.
Top 7 - Eric.. well this wasn't a good inning for Eric.

Kurt's leadoff single was the first link of an 8-hit daisy chain of offense: Kurt single, Matt single, Glen single, Kurt double, Matt single, Glen single, Kurt double, Matt double. Six runs scored. In total, a balanced attack for the visitors - all three went 5-for-12 on the day, Kurt with 5 RBI, Glen with 2, Matt with 1.

Matt pitched a perfect bottom of the seventh to close out the game, ending it on a crazy-lucky catch of a line drive come-backer off Zamonski's bat.

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 8
Peter, Han-Soo, Eric - 2

W: Cebulash
L: Zamonski

Notes:
1. 3-for-10 at the plate lowered Han-Soo's league leading average to .515. Peter went 4-for-10, and Eric ping-ponged two singles in his 10 at bats.

2. Glen moved into a second place tie for homers with his third dinger today. He is tied with Kim, but the two of them together do not equal da Commish's league leading 7.

3. Both Kurt and Peter had good days on the bump - six up, six down. Peter had 2 K's, Kurt had 4.

You Gotta Believe

Yesterday, June 24th, was my daughter Emma's 10th birthday. A good many of you have met Emma, as she has scored a couple of our wiffle games. I call Emma, the Girl in a Hurry, and here's why:

Emma was born at Miami Valley Hospital at 32 weeks, (that's eight weeks premature, Eric) by cesarean section.  I tell you the honest truth, when the doctor pulled her out Emma's head was no bigger than a wiffle ball; she was three pounds, three ounces. The surgical team cut the cord put the baby on a gurney and whisked her off to a resuscitation room. A few minutes later, they asked me if I'd like to come in a see Emma. Karen, awake under local anesthetic said I should go.

They led me into the next room, which was quite dim. Emma was on a high table with tubes and wires all over her, there were seemed like half a dozen monitors going, and a four-member team there to keep her alive, including to help her breathe, if needed. But that's the thing, it wasn't needed. There was a $100,000 team of medical professionals standing in a semi-circle .. watching Emma .. breathe on her own.

[And let me digress here to say, Miami Valley Hospital is great, and all the other hospitals around here are posers. There's a radio ad that Kettering Hospital System runs for Greene Memorial Hospital during Dragons games. It says nice things about GMH and then says, "It's the only Level Three Trauma Center in the region!" Probably true, but Level Three is the lowest, least capable trauma center.  Miami Valley Hospital is a Level One Trauma Center - which is better. A lot.]

We were told to expect Emma to stay in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) for up to 6 weeks. Emma was done with that place in 27 days, and ever since she really hasn't been much interested in what conventional wisdom says about what she should be capable of at her age. Good on her. At times I forget how wonderful that is, and I get annoyed. This is the time of year I remind myself that it's great, and something I, and we all, can emulate. You gotta believe.

You gotta believe that your team will mount a comeback. You gotta believe even if you strike out your first five at bats, that you can get a hit for the sixth one. You gotta believe that your hit will start a daisy chain of hits and build the big inning. You gotta believe you can stick your hand out and the ball will fly into it. You gotta believe that your stats don't matter, because the games's too fun, and too therapeutic, to get worked up about numbers.

I tell you all this because I have to put on a birthday party for Emma today and the stats will only be updated later this evening. And a real game story, may not be coming at all.

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 8
Eric, Peter, Han-Soo - 2

W: Cebulash
L: Zamonski

Wain Wuins Wiffie Wednesday!

Deluge Shortens Game to 3 Innings; Washes Out Corona Classic Chez Cebulash

With the wind blowing out, and really blowing at times, there were high hopes for a slugfest on this wiffie Wednesday. However, it turned out the wind was pushing a thunderstorm our way and only three innings were played before the Commissioner called the contest for rain, declaring that it "does count."

A ruling I'm sure that pleased Laura Hume, who lowered her season's ERA to 112.50, allowing only 5 runs in her inning on the mound. Tim Baker gave one of those back - a run that should be charged to Stats as he dropped Glen's fly ball and it went for a home run. This seems to be a theme for Matt - raising his teammates' ERAs.

Well, then the rain came, and it was a doozy. Turned Wiltshire Boulevard into this:

Official Scorer Emma Lindsay wades down Wiltshire Blvd.

The rain also forced a cancellation of the planned cookout at Glen's. Those who could adjourned to Tank's.

With my extra time in the evening I began to peruse the Google Docs Blog exploring the possibilities of using an online form, accessible even on a mobile device, to do real-time play-by-play data entry from the wiffle field. With a pivot table feature the stats could update automatically after each at bat.   (!!)

It seems pretty doable. With a little study and time I could create .. something unspeakably nerdy. Please, pull me back from this ledge.

Eric, Matt, Tim - 5
Glen, Kurt, Laura, Peter - 1

W: Lindsay
L: Hume

Rain Out

Most wifflers stayed away today; they apparently knew what was to come. Three, though, doggedly tried to get in a game. With three, of course, you play 1-on-1-on-1. First Glen hit off Peter; then Peter hit off Matt; then Matt hit off Glen.

We had not quite completed the first round of innings when THE FOURTH arrived:

The Pitcher's Best Friend

The downpour washed away the bad lines (and the good ones), the score, and all the stats. Enjoy your weekend, and see you for the Corona Classic on Wednesday evening (wiffle at 7 pm followed by BBQ at Glen's).

Boog is Back!

Wednesday Night Wiffle Hosts the Return of Tim Baker to the Asphalt


It was with smiles all around that Kurt, Han-Soo, Glen and Matt welcomed Tim's 2011 wiffle debut on Wednesday, June 15 - the first Wiffie Wednesday of the season. For Tim, Wednesday is a Friday - the end of the work week and no one was happier to be gripping plastic than he.


Tim even volunteered to take the mound in the top of the first, with Glen and Kurt patrolling his outfield, and struck out Matt for his first out of the season. It went less smoothly from there. Han-Soo continued his rat-a-tat-tat hitting with the first of his ten (for 19) hits on the day, a single. This was followed by a single from Matt, and then Han-Soo got the first of what would end up as six fly outs into the hands of Kurt. Two down. Three straight hits (double, single, single) would plate two runs and give the Visitors a 2-0 lead after one-half.

Han-Soo and Stats would go on to score in each of the first four innings. 1 off Glen in the 2nd. 2 off Kurt in the 3rd courtesy of a soaring home run by Han-Soo. And then 5 off Tim again in the 4th highlighted by Stats' second homer of the season, his first Grand Slam (a low liner that flew like a Frisbee past the homer line). Stats' 11-for-20 hitting including hitting for the cycle, garnering 7 RBI was the line of the night.

In the bottom of the fourth, Glen mustered the first and fourth of four consecutive singles to end the shutout, driving in the Home team's first run. After then pitching a scoreless top of the fifth, he promptly declared "moral victory."

Alas, the homers' first run was their last and this six-inning affair ended with a 10-1 win for the visitors.

Han-Soo, Matt - 10
Glen, Kurt, Tim - 1

W: Lindsay
L: Baker
MV: Cebulash

Notes:
1. Kurt actually had the top batting average for the night, going 6-for-10.  Tim had a fine return with the bat: 4-for-10.
2. Here are the first and third base lines:

First Base Line, by Han-Soo

Third Base Line, by Han-Soo

 Here is the triple line:

Triple Line, by Matt

The hit lines were an utter disgrace!