Towering Piso

There's something about Professors of Philosophy. In their prime - they can dominate this league.

Let us take a moment to appreciate the season we are witnessing from one Professor Zach Piso, PhD. Just another day at the park, Zach went 5-for-8 today with 2 singles, a double, a triple, and a homer. That's a cycle of course, and not the first he's hit this year.

The Double and the Triple were each the 10th of the year for him. He is now double digits in doubles, triples and homers.

That homer (and its 3 RBIs) added to his league leading tallies in those categories. Those sit now at 14 HR and 53 RBI.

Going 5-for-8 whilst Jeff went 3-for-8 means Zach now leads the league in BA at 0.518. So that's the Triple Crown, friends. Of course the season isn't over, but still - the numbers are stunning.

But in fact, right now Zach leads the league in...

1. Batting Average
2. Slugging Percentage
3. OPS
4. ABs (tied with Peter)
5. Hits
6. Doubles
7. Triples
8. Home Runs
9. Runs Batted In
10. Wins

That's the Ten-ple Crown!

The only categories he does not lead the league in are singles and walks. These are like 2014-2015 Kurt Mosser numbers. This is 2015 Bryce Harper-level stats right here, and we get to witness it every Saturday.

Eric, Finn, Jeff, Pete, Walker - 0 runs, 8 hits

Adrian, Hansoo, Isaac, Matt, Zach - 8 runs, 20 hits

HR: Zach (14), Adrian (2)

Wiffle Magic, Feel it Happen

While I think most would like to see their wiffle games end up with a score like 10-9, today's 3-2 contest had a certain charm to it. Certainly, the line of the day belonged to Zach: 6-for-9, homer-shy of the cycle, and 2 critical RBI in a game his team won by one run. He also pitched 2 scoreless innings. So, all in all a good day.

But did you hear about Stats' day? Matt, stalwart O's fan, went 2-for-11, with one RBI. His two hits, though, came in the same pivotal inning - the top of the 8th.  Matt led off the inning with a sharp single. This was followed by another hit to put 2 on. Then two outs brought Stats back to the plate with a tie score, two out and the go-ahead run in scoring position. Two strikes, and then a low liner just drops into the doubles area. Matt drove in himself for what proved to be the winning run.

He also pitched the bottom of the eighth. It turned out to be the only inning this year in which a pitcher got zero Ks, and also surrendered no runs. Shut. Down.

You may also not be aware that during Jeff's first inning on the mound - a 1-2-3 inning as per usual - Matt composed a three movement concerto for strings and bassoon.

While patrolling the outfield in the bottom of the fifth, Stats mediated a South American constitutional dispute over the authorities of the upper parliamentary chamber vis-à-vis the the supreme court. 

Further, Matt debunked the Zamonski Hypothesis on Rock & Roll and.. and developed an algorithm that, with 98.23% accuracy explains the adult contemporary chart pattern of Michael McDonald's yacht rock hits between 1979 and midway through 1982. 

Some scholars assert that Stats may have been the author of Merchant of Venice. However, claims that he also authored some of Shakespeare's sonnets are disputed.

But still, all in all - a good day.

Hansoo, Matt, Walker, Zach - 3 runs, 14 hits

Adrian, Andy, Eric, Jeff, Pete - 2 runs, 13 hits

HR: Evans (4, 1 on)

Tradition

Baseball has many holiday traditions: green caps in March, pink and blue bats in May and June, Fourth of July caps, Disco Demolition just to name a few. Because, as we know, OW&AC is just like baseball we have traditions, too.

For instance, the Commissioner uses a different color of chalk each week. Festive!!

And in those special years in which the Saturday before Easter falls during Passover, wifflers (and their fans!) get a special treat. 

WE GET TO DYE THE WIFFLE BALLS!!!!!

So today the Commish (did you know? He also teaches ART) set up a wiffle ball craft table in the visitor dugout (right behind the hand-operated scoreboard). There were lots of pretty colors and glitter glue.

When in a safe space like Nance Bradds Field, and given the time and care, wifflers can really show their empathic and introspective selves through their art. To wit...

So pretty!!

And note how skillfully they made those wiffle holes appear round. The Commish can teach anything. Actually, the photo really doesn't do them justice.

It was really a lot of fun, and a nice diversion from the rigors of what has been a long wiffle season. There was only one fight, when Andy didn't want to share the purple dye. 

Well, anyway, when all the arts and crafts were cleaned up, everyone's hands were dyed and sticky and no one wanted to play wiffle. People were heading back to their cars and honeydo lists. 

But the the Commish took off his Artsy Beret and put on his Commissioner Helmet and insisted we play wiffle. So we did.

Adrian, Hansoo, Jeff, Matt - 0 runs, 7 hits

Andy, Isaac, Peter, Walker - 8 runs, 15 hits

HR: Evans (1), Bokros (1)

The wind giveth, and the wind taketh away

Opening Day is an all-around feel good day. Everyone is in the best shape of their lives. A whole season of possibilities (all of them good) lay ahead. The wiffle balls are shiny and new.

No less than 12 wifflers answered the irresistible siren call of the season opener. And as Zach let fly the first pitch in anger under a sunny, breezy sky, all the elements of nature were in perfect balance and all was seen to be good.

Except there were no donuts. How the #^@% are we supposed to have OPENING FRICKIN' DAY without donuts?!?!? Pageantry and nostalgia.. for naught.

Until J.D. solved this problem by running to Ashley's in the top of the second and got a box of carb-o-liscious pastry. Today's MVP: J.D.

Oh, there was a game, too. Home-standers took this one 4-1. Wind-blown blast of the day came off the childish red bat as swung by Walker, making the most of a pitch by Matt. That three-run blast was the margin of victory.

There were other wind aided hits as the ball danced away from the outfielders' hands. Also, dibbled foul balls were blown back fair for outs.

The stats page got a great start to the season as 12 gentlemen posted ABs. Check them out all season for the link here at the blog.

Adrian, Andy, Isaac, Hansoo, Matt, Peter - 1 run, 12 hits

Eric, JD, Jeff, Tom, Walker, Zach - 4 runs, 16 hits

HR: Berwald the Younger (1)

Spring Stats Don't Count

The OW&AC had its first and last Grapefruit League game today - a slugfest that ended in a 0-0 tie, called after 6 innings. It was warm (enough) in the sun. The stats - note that everyone's ERA stands at 0.00 - do not count.

If they did count Matt would be leading the League with a .667 average (6-for-9), a sweet .777 slugging, and a slash line of .667/.667/1.444. Those are, by the way, MVP-type numbers.

But spring stats do not count.

Peter's .444 average, and Adrian's .400 would round off the top three hitters in the league - but spring stats do not count.

So come out to Wiffle Opening Day next week when Matt is sure to go 0-for-the-day and strike out 5 times.

Adrian, Jeff, Peter - 0 runs, 10 hits

Matt, Walker, Zach - 0 runs, 8 hits

HR: Spring Stats Don't Count

Zamonski's 50th Birthday Bash -- Saturday Sept 24th -- 6pm-???

Hey OWAC Wifflers, I'm throwing myself a 50th birthday bash on Saturday Sept 24th at 650 Creighton Ave 45410. My front yard has the first tree on the right.  Party's out back, walk through the fence gate on the right side of the house and follow the balloons and noise to the back yard. Show up anytime after 6pm and stay til you fall, disappear, or get arrested.  I'll be serving burgers and dogs off the grill plus sides, bring your own beverages and see you there!  

(Trapper John mustache rides sold separately)

When is a Fauxlami just a Fake Fauxlami?

OWAC welcomed back veteran wiffler Hansoo to the sunny confines of Nance Bradds Field today with a good ol' 4-on-4 Wily Oldsters vs Spry Youngsters matchup.  It turned out to be a relatively low-scoring affair with superb pitching on both sides.  Team Spry threatened all the way to the final out but in the end Team Old held off their rally to win it by two.  Today's Goat-Hero award goes to Andy "the Fence Factor" for having both the best and the worst fielding plays of the day, in nearly exactly the same spot right at the HR line, and both off Zach.  Mmm-mmm, that's some tasty symmetry!  

Rules Committee Note:  During today's Titanic Struggle, the following question arose (because it very nearly happened):  If a pitch bounces off the batter's body--elbow, shoulder, etc---and flies through the basketball hoop, should that be counted as a "fauxlami" grand slam?  Generally a pitch that hits the batter's body is automatically a dead ball so, by default, the answer would seem to be no.  That said there would be a certain poetic justice in going the other way with it and punishing the pitcher for his wild pitch by rewarding the hit batsman with a four-bagger.  Plus it honors the exceedingly rare weirdness of the ball-thru-the-hoop phenomenon, which after all is the whole point of the Fauxlami Rule to begin with.  In any case we should probably put it to a vote in the time-honored method:  we all meet at Tanks, get too drunk to think clearly and too rowdy to listen as Peter calls out the ayes and nays, and then something is "officially" decided with that decision being both forgotten and challenged for years to come.   

Brad, Tonya, Walker, Zach  -  12 hits, 3 runs

Andy, Eric, Hansoo, Peter  -  12 hits, 5 runs

Home Runs  -  Zach, Andy, Peter