Bespoke Wiffle Socks

There are several schools of thought in the practice of men's haberdashery regarding the issue of socks. We're talking now about business attire, of course, not when one is upon the hallowed asphalt at Nance Bradds Field. Business.


You see, in most cases the sock can be seen in between the shoe and the bottom cuff or hem of the pant. So the question comes to mind, does it not, with which garment should the sock coordinate? The Shoe or the Pant? The Pant or the Shoe??

The non-wiffle blog called "The Trad" was recommended by Kent Mackintosh, and the blogger there recommends "Cheerful Socks" which seem to contrast with both shoe and pant. I am aware that movers and shakers in the Dayton art establishment match their socks with their neck ties. Both of these approaches miss the point of the coordination debate: that socks are to be worn, not seen.  Sock coordination is done to further the illusion (which fools no one, but is accepted by all) that one is not wearing socks at all.

Coordinating with the shoe will create the sense that one is wearing boots. Once a manly form of foot garb, the boot has now been completely taken over by women's fashion, and leaves some men, reluctant to be "out there," with only shoe options. Matching with the pant will appear that one is wearing hosiery or footie pants. This is either childish or churlish depending on the personality of the man, and the size of his ... feet.

Casual occasions in sight of a large body of water (natural body, not a pool) can call for cream colored socks, a linen pant, and topsider shoes. This always works, even without a tie. Seer-sucker is making a comeback as well, but must always be worn with socks, and preferably with a cucumber in your pocket. Seer-sucker is such a "look-at-me" material you really shouldn't go boring on the socks; coordinate the hosiery with the darker color in the seer-sucker fabric - but not matchy-matchy. Go for something further around the color wheel for a complimentary effect.

Superior Socks for Superior Wifflers

When playing wiffle, it is ALWAYS better to accessorize with color coordinated socks. Take as evidence today's action: Players wearing color-coordinated socks pitched to an ERA of 4.50.  Players giving no thought to their stockings pitched to an ERA of 14.72.  I'll do the math for you: that's ten runs higher.

SABR-metrics are taking the game places Ty Cobb could never have dreamed.

Brent, Glen, Kurt, Matt - 3 runs, 15 hits
Hansoo, Kevin, Dave, Peter - 17 runs, 32 hits

WP: Campbell
LP: Mackintosh

HR: Ha (1)

Look what we have for YOU!!

There was a game today, in defiance of 42 degree temperatures and cloudy skies at 9:30 am. The final score was 10-2 and Peter made a boffo diving catch of a line drive and Hansoo had 14 hits. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Stats was there and kept score, but didn't play. "Too tired" he said from an opening night cast party. What evs. But Stats did keep score - ON HIS PHONE. And from now on, anyone with a smart phone or smart tablet can input the play-by-play and instantly update the stats tables!

You read that right: every wiffler's batting average and ERA will update instantly after each at-bat!!! We have achieved a stats singularity.

The current stats can be reviewed using the link in the right column (if you're not viewing this on a mobile device). One shortcoming is that the table can only be sorted alphabetically. This will have two potential side effects:

1. Peter may mistakenly assume he is leading the league in everything (until Chris Anderson finally shows up).
2. Everyone may mistakenly assume that Kurt is last in the league in everything (until Eric Zamonski shows up).

Neither of these things is actually true. Hansoo leads the league in batting, and Kurt and Hansoo have perfect 0.00 ERAs.

Peter, Hansoo - 10 runs, 21 hits

Kurt, Brent - 2 runs, 11 hits

WP - Berwald

LP - Mackintosh

HR - none.