Run-ruled Times Two

With Esther in the hands of the batters, the OW&AC had to invoke the 10-run rule today. Twice.

Yup.

Two different pitchers gave up 10 or more runs before finding a third out in their innings. Matt gave up 11 in the first, and Dewey gave up 10 in the sixth. This wouldn't necessarily be a problem, except that Matt and Dewey were teammates. The result is lopsided.

Andy, Bob, Peter - 22 runs, 31 hits
Dewey, Hansoo, Matt - 7 runs, 16 hits.

HR: Evans (3), Berwald, Ha (2)

Esther: Wiffle Temptress

The siren song cannot be resisted. "Come to the asphalt; join in the bat-and-ball play! Use the loaded, black bat; your hits will soar majestically. Forever."

Everyone sees the black bat in their hands.They see their score line brimming with triples and homers. No one ever thinks about pitching when they think about Esther. When she sings, men stop thinking.

So it was today when the black bat emerged from the Subaru. Brains: switched off. To wit: Eric voted "yes" on the black bat and then used the yellow bat anyway. Indeed he was for it before he was against it.

But no one was more bitterly scorned by the Temptress than Tim Young'un. His hearty lefty swings produced a tremendous sky ball... that landed in Eric's outstretched fingertips - stealing a three run dinger. Later a vicious line drive... was tipped up by pitcher Pete and then caught by Pete himself, reminiscent of his volleyball glory days.

And get this: Andy led off all nine innings for his team. A unique feat - but not a good one.

Andy, Matt, Tim - 3 runs, 9 hits
Bob, Eric, Mark, Peter - 8 runs, 19 hits

HR: Berwald (2)

12!

Andy brought the wedding party: Groom, Best Man and 2 Groomsmen. On top of that, 8 other wifflers showed up. That's a record, gents. Put it in the books: 12 for a game! Six on six, my friends. A record.

It is entirely possible that the Groomsmen had a late night last night.

Groomsmen (Adrian, Andy, Brian, Jeff, Tim Y., Tim B.) - 1 run, 8 hits
Bridesmaids (Bob, Dewey, Hansoo, JD, Matt, Peter) - 11 runs, 31 hits

HR: Darden (5)

Mark was the offense - for both teams

Credit where credit is due: the title of this post was said by Mark's teammate, Kurt. Mark did have quite a day, leading off seven different innings with singles, raising his average to 0.470. Quite amazing to see, actually. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.

I am interested to hear your thoughts on whether it is worth noting that Mark lead off seven innings because Kurt was so frequently making the last outs. Kurt's early RBI double looked to be a game winner on his otherwise 2-for-10 day. But...

In a game that saw many half innings end with the bases loaded, Mark did not get out of his bases loaded jam in the bottom of the 8th, and surrendered 6 runs in an inning he started with a 1-0 lead.

Adrian, Hansoo, Kurt, Mark - 2 runs, 16 hits
Andy, Matt, Pete, Eric - 6 runs, 15 hits.

HR: none

Dog Dreams

Can you imagine how awful it would be if dogs could talk? Ugh.

Every morning your dog would wake up and tell you about its dreams. "There was a cat. I barked at it. I barked at it. I barked at it. I barked at a cat. Then I woke up." *

It would be torturous.

It would be like some nerd typing in some godforsaken corner of the internet, describing a game of wiffle ball that you didn't even play in. I mean, who would read that?

Adrian, Greg, Kurt, Matt, Tim - 1 run, 12 hits

Bob, JD, Kevin, Mark, Peter - 19 runs, 29 hits

HR: none

* It is possible that if dog brains were sophisticated enough for speech, that they would have more complex dreams. But, I doubt it.

Rarely used bat; rarely used rule

Pete brought out the black bat this week. Since Kurt (who opposes use of the black bat) wasn't here, this would be an opportunity for everyone to move ahead of him on the stats as we knocked the crap out of the ball wielding the juiced lumber.

Kurt's wiffle twin, Eric Zamonski, is also a purist and eschewed the "Hammer of Thor" for the traditional yellow. His was the only batting average that went down today.*

Along the way there were two dingers, and Adrian put one on the roof**. Seven enhanced innings later, the home team came back late and managed to hold on for a 6-5 win.

Bob, Matt, Eric - 5 runs, 18 hits
Adrian, Andy, Peter - 6 runs, 13 hits

HR: Lindsay, Berwald

* Actually, Andy's BA went down, too, but I don't let facts interfere when the prose is flowing.
** Adrian put the ball on the roof BEHIND the batter, and was emphatically OUT.

The sun was hot; the bats were hotter

This was a most offensive game of 4-on-4 wiffle. A back and forth tussle that saw an early lead for the home team, a steady comeback by the visitors, and a tense bottom of the last inning with the home boys scraping for a single run.

Allow me to share some notes from the stats:
1. All eight players had at least four hits.
2. All eight players had at least 2 RBI.
3. All eight players saw their batting averages go up.
4. Most of the eight players were glad we don't keep pitching stats.
5. 28 total runs scored.
6. 59 total hits.
7. 75 total bases.
8. No winner.

Adrian, Kurt, Mark, Pete - 14 runs, 28 hits
Bob, Eric, JD, Matt - 14 runs, 31 hits

HR: none.

There were a lot of pictures taken. Maybe they'll end up here later.

Sunday Wiffle is an Abomination

Our founders, the wise sages of Ye Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club, understood Sunday Wiffle to be a path to ruination. They knew in their hearts and minds that Sunday Wiffle was a primrose path of gluttony and sloth. A paved trail to diminished virtue; to spirituous consumption; to slovenly personal grooming.

They knew.

And they assumed they needn't decree to future generations against the evil practice of Sunday Wiffle - for surely it is as evident as a belt-high pitch that shall go yard: Sunday Wiffle is a diversion to be avoided at the peril of your very soul.

Apparently, we needed to be told.

Today was the WORST SUNDAY WIFFLE IN THE HISTORY OF SUNDAY WIFFLE! Eric didn't show and it only got worse from there. The lines Matt drew sucked. The game sucked. We, if we have any sense of propriety, we would banish Sunday Wiffle forthwith... FOREVER!!!! (Unless it's raining on Saturday.)

Dewey, Kurt - 17 runs, 24 hits
Fred, Matt - 1 run, 5 hits

HR: Darden - 3, Lindsay

The Travails of Kevin

You know what sucks? Hitting for the cycle but only having 1 RBI. Kevin managed such a feat today on the asphalt. However, it is safe to say he will not be crying himself to sleep tonight, as his team won the game 4-1.

Eric, Hansoo, Kevin, Tim - 4 runs, 14 hits
Andy, Bob, Kurt, Peter - 1 run, 12 hits

HR: Campbell (1)

2000 words about today's wiffle

Slugs - 0 runs, 14 hits
Sluggers - 3 runs, 13 hits.

HR: none

Sunshine + 10 Players = 9 Innings

It was a fine day on the asphalt. If you weren't there, you should be kicking yourself. Well, not really - we had ten players and really didn't need you. The outfield was crowded enough.

Anyway, we played 9 innings. Actually we played eight and a half, because the Visitors' comeback effort fizzled out at the last moment. The Home team scored five early runs (three of which came on an Andy Evans triple that at least two outfielders could have caught) and then their bats wilted in the heat.

The Visitors chipped away the rest of the game (including Kurt Mosser's first home run of the season) but it all ended with the bases loaded in the ninth.

JD, Kurt, Mark, Pete, Tim B. - 4 runs, 18 hits
Andy, Bob, Dewey, Hansoo, Matt - 5 runs, 16 hits

HR: Mosser (1)

Shoulda Been Mark's Day

He was on it. Both sides of the ball, I tell ya.

He was right there, pitch for pitch with Hansoo as the most dominant pitchers of this brisk opening day. He drove in the first run of the season to give his team a lead in the top of the 4th inning. Then in the bottom of the 5th he made a catch that seemed sure to clinch the game for his team:

With the bases loaded and two out, Greg on the mound, Matt waited out a lot of pitches, worked the count with two strikes. Then Matt got around on one and drove it deep to left field. Deep and way over Mark's head. Deep and way past the home run line!

Mark was having none of that.

On a dead run, with his back to the plate Mark made an amazing over the shoulder, lead-saving catch. The 1-0 lead was safe - for the moment.

But it wouldn't be enough. In the bottom of the 7th the home standers solved Peter's pitching and plated a pair. Matt took the mound in the top of the 8th to seal the 2-1 victory.

It shoulda been Mark's day, but it wasn't. It might still be his year.

Greg, Mark, Peter, Ryan - 1 run, 16 hits
Bob, Dewey, Hansoo, Matt - 2 runs, 16 hits

HR: none (grrrrrr!)

We Don't Need no Stinkin' Groundhog!

The Wiffle and Ale Club knows what time it is: spring training time. Super Sunday became Wiffle Sunday as 6 stalwarts took to the asphalt at E.D. Smith for six innings of bat-and-ball play.

And there's no surer sign of spring than Kevin giving up hits. Once the season rolls around, he won't be having any of that $#!+. But today he gave up ... one. He, like everyone else, was just getting the old body limbered up for the long march to October.

There were a couple of triples, a double, and everything else was a single. Hansoo made a spectacular catch of a sinking liner off Peter's bat. Earlier, Peter made an impressive catch of a liner off Matt's bat. Everyone got in two innings on the mound; Adrian pitched into some hard luck.

On this gridiron, the Broncos (Dewey, Hansoo, Matt) bested the Panthers (Adrian, Kevin, Peter) by the very football score of 6 to 0. I'm not a betting man, but that might be a winning parlay for today's other big game.