Wi-FALL Ball

So if you were told that the following players met to enjoy some plastic bat and ball play this morning:

Peter Berwald

Glen Cebulash

Dave Eldridge

Matt Lindsay

Kurt Mosser

Could you guess what the teams were? Of course you could because the rubric is to place the worst player or players with Kurt. Thus, Kurt was shackled to Glen and Matt, to "versus" (as my kids are wont to say) Peter and Dave. Let it be noted here: this was not Peter's idea, Glen suggested it, and Peter said "ok."

Now, could you guess who, amongst these five pitchers, was the only one to NOT surrender a run? Here you are thinking that I am using some sort of reverse psychology, and that the answer is Glen, the underhanded wonder-kind. But, HA! You have been caught because your interlocutor knows that you know of this reverse psychological technique, and it is utter folly to imagine that Glen would surrender no runs in a whole game, much less any inning, with those ridiculous pitches he's arcing toward the plate these days. No, the answer is Matt, and that of course means that both Dave and Kurt allowed a run today: exactly one each! This was the first game all season that Mosser and Eldridge both allowed runs.

Next, can you guess who hit for the cycle? Of course you can't. It was a trick question, anyway, because two players did it.  The obvious one is Glen, the Artist, because of the steady diet of underhand pitches he receives.  Glen went 9-for-11, with a double, FOUR triples, and a home run.  The other was Peter Bewald, posting a more modest 9-for-15 with a double, a triple and a home run.

But oh, what a homer it was!!

You see, in the top of the sixth, Peter pitching, the visiting crew mounted what might have at other times been referred to as "the greatest come-back in wiffle history," as Glen's fourth triple cleared the loaded bases to tie the score at 5. This came 6 batters after Glen's lead off solo home run to start the frame. Too bad for Glen-Kurt-Matt they were not able to hit a visitor walk off, or get an insurance run with the score tied, because, pitching the now suddenly necessary BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, was one Glen Cebulash.

When your team scores a crooked number to tie the game, what do you need from your pitcher next inning? A SHUTDOWN INNING. What did we say earlier about Glen's pitching?

 it is utter folly to imagine that Glen would surrender no runs in a whole game, much less any inning

Well, he almost did that very folly.  Putting down the first two batters with a ground out and a fly out.  Then he gave up a harmless single. Then Peter came to the bat.  Peter smacked a very high, very deep, home-run depth shot straight to center - currently patrolled by one Matt Lindsay. Matt was currently engaged in a good convo with one Kurt Mosser about Chris Carpenter and the broader notion of a "shutdown inning."  Let's just say Matt did not take an optimal route to this deep fly ball - he turned the wrong way. He did get his outstretched full hand on the ball, and came close to squeezing it for the final out - but did not and it fell for the second true walk off homer of the year.

(This is not to say that had I taken a better route to the ball, I would have caught it; you just can't know that.)

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 5

Dave, Pete - 7

W: Berwald

L: Cebulash

Beltran-Themed Bonus Question: Can you guess which player had FOUR Beltrans (as a batter) today? Ah, I see that was an easy one. Yes, it was of course, Dave Eldridge, all when facing Kurt Mosser. This tied a record previously the exclusive domain of one Brent Mackintosh.