Glen hurt his shoulder in mysterious circumstances, and is only able to pitch underhand. This has not helped his ERA, at all. On the other hand, Da Commish agreed that in turn he should only be pitched to underhand, and that has certainly helped his batting average.
Today, Glen was responsible for 100% of the runs scored. And there were a LOT of runs scored today. For example, Glen led off the top of the fifth with a deep, soaring solo home run off Dave Eldridge. This ruined the shutout that Dave and Peter had going to this point. (It also really tightened the ERA race as Dave's ERA rose to 1.64, while Kurt's 1 scoreless inning pitched lowered his ERA to 1.70! Fantastic drama, I'm sure the reader will agree.) (It ALSO tied him in the Home Run race with Kurt Mosser at 10. DOUBLE DIGITS, baby!)
Yup. 20.
Tying Laura Hume for the worst single inning in the Statistical Era.
But the smile never left Glen's face. He loves this game, Ladies and Gentlemen and Eric. And we love him.
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We cannot overlook some astounding numbers on the day: Pete and Dave had good days with the bat (when Matt or Kurt were not pitching).
Dave: 16-for-17 off Glen, 3 2b, 2 3b, HR, 17 RBI off Glen. 2-for-6 off Kurt/Matt
Pete: 14-for-19 off Glen, 2 3b, 8 RBI. 1-for-5 off Kurt/Matt.
And obviously, these two both pitched well, too.
Dave: 3 IP, 1 R, 2 hits, HR, 2 K.
Peter: 3 IP, 0 R, 5 hits, 2 K.
Glen, Kurt, Matt - 1
Peter, Dave - 25
W: Berwald
L: Cebulash
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| Careful examination of the scoresheet revealed that the final score was actually 25-1. |
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One last note: Kurt's 4-for-8 day, while good for ordinary players (I wonder if I'll ever have a four hit day, again), lowered his batting average to .521.
ReplyDeleteI remember it more like this:
ReplyDeleteWhen Glen had mowed down all the players on Pete and Dave's team who had challenged him on the open field, and all of them, to the last player, had fallen by his blazing pitches, Glen turned back to them and put his bat to it. The total of those that fell that day, Peter and Dave, the totality of their roster, came to two. Glen did not draw back the hand that held his bat until all players on the other team were destroyed. However, he did take their cell phones and water bottles and other spoils and booty, in accordance with the instructions he had been given by the gods of Wiffle. Then Glen burned down Nance Bradds Field and turned the mound into ruin for all time, a desolation to last a thousand generations. And Dave and Pete were impaled on yellow bats until evening. At sunset, Glen had their corpses taken down from the stakes and left them lying at the Aberdeen Avenue entrance. He raised a great heap of cracked wiffle balls which will remain to the end of days.
Oh, yeah. That's how it went. I remember now. That is fall down funny. That is what this blog should be and isn't.
ReplyDeleteI often wonder if he actually resides in the same plane of reality that we do. The only thing missing from the "artist's" rendition of today's events is the word SMOTE. If he was able to get that in their I would call it complete.
ReplyDeletefav epic number: R-Dave's SEVENTEEN rbi's. for some reason that amused me even more than Cebbie's "twenny".
ReplyDelete