I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Oakwood game, to ride out the storms of winter, and to outlive the menace of the off season, if necessary for months, if necessary alone.
At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of the Commissioner's office. That is the will of the players and the league.
The Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club and indeed, all free wifflers everywhere, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death, or the end of nine innings, whichever comes first, their asphalt, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.
Even though many a Saturday has fallen into the grip of family obligation or the ill-scheduled OCC basketball tournament, we shall not flag or fail.
We shall go on to the end, we shall play in Kettering, we shall play in Beavercreek, we shall play in Riverside, if necessary; we shall pitch and hit with growing confidence and growing strength, we shall defend our park, whatever the cost may be, we shall play on the macadam, we shall play on the grass, we shall play on the fields and in the streets, we shall play in the hills; we shall never quit, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this game or a large part of it were re-scheduled or undermanned, then our game beyond the Miami Valley, suited and seated by able wifflers, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, a new game, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.
The Wifflers played A LOT of wiffle these past two days. Two more today. Matt stunk, completely (well deserved after the fit of hubris from the last blog entry). Glen and Kurt, on opposite teams each produced four runs. The difference was Peter, with two additional RBI putting Kurt and He on top in game 1. Did I mention that Matt was awful? 1 for 12, though he pitched "ok".
After that was over, mercifully, Dave had the brilliant idea that we should play another, this time everyone having to pitch underhand. Dave's idea. Remember that.
Dave surrendered 19 runs in the top of the first. This lead proved insurmountable, believe it or not. Matt didn't do much hitting off the underhand stuff, either, though he pitched "ok." This one ended 31-8, which is a ridiculous score. There were multiple grand slams by the winners, and Kurt was struck out looking by Matt. Underhand. It was a crazy pitch. You had to be there.
Here are some nice pictures:
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| Game 3 |
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| Game 4 |
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| The whole enchilada. |
Congrats to Kurt for being onthe winning team four times. Sincere congratulations.
Posts
kurt sez: you should check out the etymology of "sincere" sometime. i've got plenty o' wax.
ReplyDeletei was indeed struck out looking by matt, pitching underhanded. how odd it doesn't seem to be mentioned that matt was, indeed, struck out by kurt, looking.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't take this criticism too seriously. Remember, it's coming from a person with "plenty o' wax", which, as we all know, means insincere. Would Winston Churchill have pointed this small oversight out, Matt? I think not.
ReplyDeleteI am unable to follow the reasoning from the wax to the Beltran. We didn't keep score during Eldridge's Three Ring Circus, so I was unable to recall my strike out looking. But I'm sure it happened. Little that is good happened when the yellow plastic was in my hand. However, Kurt's backwards K was much more dramatic as it ended the only scoreless inning my team pitched (which included a nifty double play).
ReplyDeleteHey anonymous, get off Kurt's back. He's the James Brown of Wiffle Ball and if he wants to point out Matt's inadequacies, on the field or the blog, you can bet it's for the good of the league. And by the way, Fuck Winston Churchill!
ReplyDeleteDear Matt,
ReplyDeleteIt is commonly believed that sincere comes from two Latin words - sine 'without' and cera 'wax'. One idea for the origin of sincere has ominous consequences. Since cement was more expensive than wax, unscrupulous brick layers would sometimes employ it -- at least that's the story. When it melted, bricks could shift and structures collapse. So the claim that something was sine cera would be an important guarantee.
Now, it can be argued that to stand at home plate and take a called third strike is to "lay a brick". Curiously enough, Carlos Beltran hails from the Puerto Rican town of Manati, which happens to be the single largest brick-producing town in all of the Caribbean. Doubly curious is the fact that the most prominent brick company in Manati, Hermanos Ladrillos, got caught up in a scandal back in 1987, where they were found to have intentionally weakened their bricks by adulterating the mixture with...that's right, WAX!!!
As to how much wax Kurt possesses, well, it's impossible to say. The average human male contains anywhere between .05 and 1.5 % wax. Anything exceeding these levels is considered dangerous and is often associated with a condition called biliosis profundus. Lab tests involved in determining actual levels are notoriously unreliable.
As a casual reader of this blog, a physician and a native of Puerto Rico, I write to set the record straight. Firstly, while it is true that Carlos Beltran hails from the town of Manati, it is not, I repeat, NOT, the "single largest brick-producing town in the Caribbean". That honor belongs to the city of Santa Toroguano, on the island of Hispaniola. Wax infused brick is a common building material throughout the West Indies, but to my knowledge there has never been a scandal involving this product. It is considered industry standard throughout the islands. Secondly, "Hermanos Ladrillos", are two of the world's most famous Masons and beloved cultural heroes in Puerto Rico, renowned for their unique and expressive use of stucco, and have never been implicated in any wrongdoing. Thirdly, while "biliosis profundus" is indeed a serious condition, marked by a buildup of bile in the rectum and mouth, with sufferers displaying bouts of moodiness, irritability and a Tourette's-like tendency to insult others, it has nothing, NOTHING, to do with wax levels in the body. My professional opinion, contrary to that of the poster above, is that there is no connection between Carlos Beltran and Wax.
ReplyDeletetraditionally, the term "sine cera" was applied to columns. given that some artists are, indeed, fifth columnists, this generates hermeneutical puzzles too daunting to consider right now.
ReplyDeletethe plot thickens:
ReplyDeletesincere
1530s, from M.Fr. sincere, from L. sincerus (see sincerity). There is no etymological justification for the common story that the word means "without wax" (*sin cerae), and the stories invented to explain that folk etymology are even less plausible.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=sincere&searchmode=none
it's true, you boys, the artist is a fifth columnist. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad on Corona and he came to the door dressed as Francisco Franco.
ReplyDeletethat doesn't mean he's a fascist. lots of guys like to watch their buddies be generalissimos.
ReplyDeleteFinally, the blog is what I'd hoped it'd be. You guys DO love me.
ReplyDeleteof course we do. because you remind us of the flying nun.
ReplyDeleteand Norma Rae.
ReplyDeleteand, most of all, gidget.
ReplyDeleteManati is actually the pineapple center of the Caribbean.
ReplyDelete