Proceedings of the Rules Committee: January 13, 2012

As with any duly-constituted mutual-admiration society, the membership of the Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club annually conduct a meeting of the Committee on Rules, more often known as the "Rules Committee." Per the bylaws of OWAC, this annual meeting is conducted immediately prior to the Annual Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club Awards Banquet, more often known as "The Wiffies."*

* "The Wiffies" is a registered trademark of Glen "The Artist" Cebulash.

Specifically, once Bristol had stood up the requisite number of pitchers of ale, Glen Cebulash undertook the role of Rules Committee Chairman, and called the meeting to order with Stats recording the proceedings and vote totals. Naturally.

Though initially ridiculed for their seriousness by many about the table, the list of proposed rules brought by Stats were embraced as the meeting "agenda," and other rule proposals were added as the meeting progressed. First for consideration was the question, posed first by da Commish, of a foul ball that bounces off the wall and then, subsequently, passes through one of the basketball hoops. Should this feat be counted as a Grand Slam with 4 RBI.

The committee actually debated this for longer than it needed (Chairman Cebulash lost a little control, here) and there were amendments brought up to repeal last years rule that either hoop could count as a Grand Slam, etc. Once the question was called, cooler heads prevailed and all proposals and amendments were defeated - leaving the hoop rules the same for 2012 as 2011.

Then came the critical question of Underhand Pitching. Near and dear to Chairman Cebulash, he got this discussion right to teh point, and called the question. By an overwhelming margin, the practice of underhand pitching (with the right to receive underhand pitching in return) was enshrined in the rules., thus keeping Glen in the league.

Other rules that passed included:

• "Attendance at Theory shall be counted in the stats."
• "There shall be an annual vote of the membership at The Wiffies to elect the Commissioner." **

Plus other non-game related rules such as:

• Zamonski can never claim to clarify anything.
• The league may have one (at most) Republican at a time.
• Brian and Ben have to play more in 2012.

** This rule was immediately followed by a vote to elect Peter Berwald Commissioner for 2012. Congrats, Commish!

Rules that were rejected included:

• A ten-run per half inning limit on scoring
• Simplifying the stats to include only batting stats (removing the pitching stats)

And here we see the grand wisdom of the mid-winter rules committee process. Away from the passions of the asphalt, the heat of the sun, the chalk dust, and the torn folding chairs, the committee, with generous portions of ale, can truly see the game - THE GAME - for what it is meant to be. From this unique perspective good simple adjustments are adopted, and the corrupting influences of modern life are prevented from ruining the institution entrusted to these ... wifflers.

Meeting Adjourned.