Crunch Time

Shortening days, briskier weather and with the end of daylight savings time looming on the horizon, the 2018 OW&AC season has dwindled down to at most a handful of games left to be played. For some: just one. Knowing the end is nigh, and dark winter approaches, nine hearty wifflers bestrode the asphalt on a mild but blustery morning.

And the result was another lopsided wiffle playoffs game - this time with the home standers on the positive end of another walloping. The Visitors did take the early lead with a parade of singles off of Adrian, whose slick fielding prevented the tallying of any further damage.

The home boys answered with 9 consecutive runs: 6 during Peter's first inning on the mound, 3 during his second. That six-run barrage was capped off by Matt's second Grand Salami of the season, coming with 2 outs and 2 strikes.

Soul-crushing. Which Stats has been doing regularly lately. In his last (final) five games he is a combined 30-for-53 (.566) with 2 homers and 14 RBI - raising his average 61 points from .378 to .439.

(Getting it done down the stretch - that's what earns MVP votes.)

It was also not a stellar day for the Commish at the plate, but we know nothing can wipe the smile off his face because the Boston Red Sox are champions of the American League and the Yankees are not.

In addition to the Sawx' drive for the title, there are a couple of other intriguing things to keep your eye on in the last wiffle game(s):

1. The batting title: Dewey (.489) and Mark W. (.486) are neck and neck but Dewey is actually 12 ABs short of the 100 needed to qualify for the title.

2. Home run king: Tim Y. and JD go into the final games tied at three for the season.

To witness these moments in OW&AC history, one needs to be at the field the next few Saturdays.

Eric, JD, Mark, Peter - 1 run, 12 hits (0.08 OE)
Adrian, Andy, Dewey, Hansoo, Matt - 9 runs, 19 hits (0.47 OE)

HR: Lindsay (2)

Go Sox!!!!

Final score g-1.

C-C-C-Cold

It is believed that there is a rule that we don't play under a certain temperature. There is no general agreement about what that temperature is. Some say 40. Some say 35. Some say 32. Doesn't matter, 'cuz the rule is never enforced. We play if it's dry.

Here's what my phone said this morning. Note the temps. Note the gentle reminder from my phone to get my butt to the park.

We played. And five of the ten guys who showed up were glad we did. If you take away the 8-run inning allowed by Dewey, then it was a tight 1-1 game. But that's a BIG IF, so the actual final score was 9-1. And even that score seems deceptively close. The LongJohns really put a beatdown on the Mukluks - lots of base runners, lots of long at bats.

Peter logged a Mookie-like 6-for-8, including 3 triples and a homer, but just couldn't manage a double so - no cycle. His four RBI were also tops on his team (along with Tim Why).

Mukluks (Adrian, Bob, Dewey, Hansoo, Matt) - 1 run, 14 hits (OE: 0.07)
LongJohns (Eric, Fred, Mark W., Pete, Tim Y.) - 9 runs, 18 hits (OE: 0.50)

HR: Berwald (1)

Offensive Efficiency was Offensive

The advanced analytics of basketball include a stat called Offensive Efficiency, which I think means points divided by possessions. I have no idea what a good OE is for a basketball team but I suppose over 1.0 would be a good one.

Anyway, we can look at a teams ability to convert hits into runs with today's lopsided game as an example.

The losers (Bob, Matt and Pete) generated 3 runs from 18 hits. A rate of 0.1666666 runs per hit.

The Victors (Chris At., Eric Z., Hansoo, and JD) plated 12 runs with 25 hits. A rate of  0.4800000 runs per hit.

Greater efficiency means a win.

Also more hits.

Also better pitching.

Also better fielding.

We sucked.

Bob, Matt, Pete - 3 runs, 18 hits
Chris At., Eric Z., Hansoo, J.D. - 12 runs, 25 hits

HR: Whitlock (3)

Saturday, In The Park

Listen, before you get started reading this Poem for the People, you better Wake Up Sunshine, because this State of the Union In the Country will Make Me Smile and you too. It's Fancy Colours Colour My World.

So Much to Say, So Much to Give.

At the Sunrise of this first day of Autumn, fall got Off to Work right away. Goodbye heat, Till We Meet Again. And the wifflers had a hitting Rediscovery. Wishing You Were Here, Kurt, cuz even you would have surrendered runs today, Skinny Boy.

What More Can I Say?: In what is surely an OW&AC first not one but two players hit for the cycle and each of them hit a Grand Slam. Baby, What A Big Surprise. In Terms of Two Stats went 5-for-13 with 6 RBI. His Grander was Gone Long Gone to the tree in right center.  But he was just Harry Truman to Tim Young's Roosevelt as he was a Critic's Choice 8-for-13 (2 dingers to the roof) and 7 RBI. What's This World Comin' To?

Hold On, though: Matt pitched three scoreless innings and hit his grander off of Tim. Hard to Say I'm Sorry, dude; What Kind of Man Would I Be? It was a Once in a Lifetime day. Look Away, if you have to.

Anyway You Want to break down this Scrapbook of a game, Tim is a Happy Man. Except that This Time his team lost 12 to 8. Ain't it Blue? Now he's a Loser with a Broken Heart but with a cycle under his belt and among the leaders in Homers. Life Is What It Is.

The game had great pace as well, as both Adrian and Mark W. had to leave early, they kept asking, "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it is?" I guess one of them needed to catch Flight 602 to Hollywood.

The Cyclists

A feat that will last Till The End Of Time, but only one was Victorious.

We even had some fans: Matt's Darlin' Dear, Karen and dog Jenny watched a few frames.

I Believe win or lose a day on the asphalt is better than Another Rainy Day in New York City. We were all living The American Dream.

Ain't It Time to end this blog? I'm Waiting For You to Decide.

Adrian, JD, Mark W., Tim Y - 8 runs, 23 hits
Eric Z., Hansoo, Matt, Pete - 12 runs, 26 hits

HR: Young - 2, Lindsay

Too Hot Too Handle

It was a scorching hot Labor Day Classic that went all the way down to the wire.  But then people wanted to keep playing so they strung a second wire and it went all the way down to that one, too.  The Hungry Halens feasted early on Van pitching, racking up a seemingly comfortable 6-run lead.  But then the usually reliable Zamonski got shelled and gave the six right back to tie the ballgame.  Things then seesawed back and forth in late innings, with Peter's game-tying RBI triple off Andy taking the wind out of the two-man Dream Team's sails.  Bob then converted a Bandito Ephus pitch for the go-ahead run for the win.  The highlight reel was further augmented by opposing homers from JD and Hans, plus a SIW* from Bob.  

Bob, Peter, Tim, Hansoo - 8

Andy, Chris, Eric, JD, Matt - 7

HR - Hansoo, JD

BB - Eric

*Sarcastic Intentional Walk - Bob

Dueling Lapses of Reason

Perfecto Wiff weather today for the inaugural game on the new Map-o-the-States outfield.  The Halen Five plated three, then gave one back and it felt a lot like that would hold.  But in last inning dramatics the Van Four came roaring back after a costly fielding error to pull ahead by two of their own.  Undeterred, the feisty Halens loaded the bases and nearly stole things right back.  In the end however, all that came of it was one gift run on a woopsie double play attempt that did produce the first RBI strikeout in over 100 years.  But one isn't two and that was the ol' ballgame, Home Team wins it 6-4.  

Andy, Bob, Mark, Pete - 6 runs, 20 hits

Adrian, Dewey, Hans, JD, Eric Z - 4 runs, 13 hits

HR - none

Upgrades at Nance Bradds Field

Those wanna-be's in the majors, they put all kinds of fancy pictures mowed into their grass. They think their pretty special:

Quite nice, sure. But they have nothing on the OW&AC...

From now on we'll be pitching from just east of Puerto Rico. Alaska is now "Big Fly" country. Hawaii is very foul.

Obviously, this creates many new possibilities for new rules. Stay tuned.

Crankin' it UP!

With Krash safely ensconced in an undisclosed overseas location, the commish broke out the big black bats, and the wifflers responded with an offensive explosion (which Kurt would indeed find offensive).

Ironically, Peter was the primary victim of this decision as he suffered through a 7-run onslaught while pitching in the bottom of the fifth. Philosophy professors have a word for that, but there weren't any philosophy professors playing today. Homers (YES! ACTUAL OVER THE FENCE HOMERS) were supplied by J.D. "Jacked Deep" Whitlock and Andy "I'll show you a REAL Grand Slam" Evans.

The visitors mustered a single run early and then watched eight unanswered cross the plate on an increasingly hot morning.

Interestingly, the losing team had 4 players with batting averages over .400, whilst the winners had a mere 1. What that goes to show you is that stats have nothing to show you. Baseball - it's a strange game.

You'll note that in the 8th inning we inadvertently opened twin portals to Beelzebub's (a dive bar in the 8th ring of the Inferno - as counted from the outside) and the Gamma quadrant. As best can be discerned this was caused by the simultaneous occurrence of: 1) Andy's wicked fastball splitting chalk atoms on the outside corner as 2) Zamonski randomly babbled the ancient incantation, backwards, in Latin.

Adrian, Bob, Hansoo, Peter, Eric Z. - 1 run, 11 hits
Andy, Chris At., JD, Matt, Tim Y. - 8 runs, 16 hits

HR: Whitlock (1), Evans - Grand Slam (2)

Dig into some stats

Table 1 shows the team batting averages of the Winning Teams and the Losing Teams from all 14 OW&AC league games this season:

	Winners	Losers	Run Diff
Game 1	409	389	5
Game 2	374	427	2
Game 3	406	385	9
Game 4	479	356	5
Game 5	440	372	3
Game 6	406	339	5
Game 7	384	391	4
Game 8	325	415	2
Game 9	423	404	1
Game 10	387	396	6
Game 11	387	369	1
Game 12	415	321	6
Game 13	322	371	2	Hoop
Game 14	421	350	2
	398.4	377.5

In only five of the 14 games did the team with the higher team batting average lose, and one of those was "hoop-aided." Batting averages matter. Winning teams have an average of .398, losers: .377.

The average margin of victory this season has been 3.7 runs. Winning teams with lower batting averages have exceeded this margin only twice. There is a significant correlation between Average Differential and Run Differential. Trust me, don't make me publish the scatter plot.

Some notes:
1. This data was assembled with the players' BA as of today - not as of the day of the game.
2. These are not weighted averages so someone's .400 average from going 2-for-5 all season is weighted the same as someone else's 396 over 90 ABs.
3. The averages at the bottom are averages of averages of averages, so they are likely meaningless, but they help me make a point, so they are included.
4. I am a nerd.

Wiff's List

Brad "Don't call me Eric" Nance has an extra left arm available - $17.50 O.B.O. As we all know Brad uses that left wing for neither hitting nor pitching, so why not unload it and add to his liquidity? Come check it out on the front porch of his place in Walnut Hills. CASH ONLY.

In a similar vein, Andy Evans finds himself with extra RIGHT arm - $45 firm. Seems like an odd problem to have but when you throw too hard, it can crack your balls. As an example, Andy pitched three scoreless today, so we can vouch for the QUALITY. It's a bit of a drive but if you need a few extra feet on your fastball, this is a bargain. You'll find it on his porch in Centerville (if they have porches).

Krash Mosser offers one Tank Killabrew trophy (mint, new in box) which he won't be needing after this season. And by "after this season" we mean "starting tomorrow" as today was his last game for the season (in North America, at least). A season he ends three ABs short of qualifying for the batting title (not to mention many more than three hits shy). The mighty but diminutive Tank can be inspected on Krash's porch - look for it behind the large jugs of water - through Wednesday. Don't miss this chance at immortality. 3,400 Renminbi or a few beers.

Hansoo Ha has an extra 12 hours to offer - free for the taking. Grab some extra lag time on his beautiful porch / photo studio.

Finally, Stats has a big pile of losing he's finally ready to part with. This was tough for him. It's like driving-in-your-team's-only-run-for-the-second-game-in-a-row-tough. THAT is tough so go easy on him as you take some losses off his REALLY BIG porch. Losing is the new black, so don't miss your chance to be a loser, like Matt.

Andy, Hansoo, Mark M, Mark W - 3 runs, 15 hits
Chris At, Eric Z, Kurt, Matt, Pete - 1 run, 9 hits

HR: none

From JD

The rain gods threatened, but the whiffle gods prevailed as the Commish, Kurt, and Chris Athmer squared off against Andy, Tim, and JD. The whiffle gods' first intervention was to rob JD of a single by flinging a grounder in fair territory off a drain grate at a 90 degree angle to turn it into a foul ball. Second divine intervention was when Chris fouled off a grand slam -- nothing but net baby. This 4-dinger carried the day as Andy, Tim, and JD could only muster two runs off a lotta hits, whereas the victors had a total of 3 hits in fair ball territory. The losers claimed a small moral victory by getting a run off of Kurt in a 4 hit team effort -- just going to show that even on the very rare occasions when Andy loses, he still kind of wins.

Andy, JD, Tim - 2 runs, 15 hits
Chris, Kurt, Pete - 4 runs, 4 hits

HR: Atherton (1)

It has come to my attention..

Five on Five for wiffle today on the extra-hot, extra-black, black top of Nance Bradds Field. Nine blistering innings, ending in a 7-1 blow out, whatevs. First six innings were scoreless and then both teams busted out in the 7th: the visitors scored one on a clutch two-out double by Stats, the home team scored 7 on a parade of singles and a bases loaded triple by the Commish.

Nothing new for me because I almost always lose.

Do you know how I know that?

No, you do not, because you have not been looking deeply enough at the stats.

So, do me a solid and click on this link: LINK

Now look down at the bottom where there are 2 tabs. One tab says "Season" the other says "Win/Loss". Click on the one that says "Win/Loss". What you'll see here is a tally of each time a player was on the winning team, each time he was on the losing team, and each time he went to Theory. There is also a calculated field for his winning percentage.

You're welcome.

Adrian, Jeff, Kurt, Matt, Tim - 1 run, 12 hits
Andy, Bob, Eric, JD, Peter - 7 runs, 21 hits

HR: none

In deference to blog readers' attention spans, this picture just shows innings 7 through 9. And a piece of 6. Whatevs.

Tale of Two Erics

This is a story of woe, 'tis true
The Tale of Eric One and Eric Two.

One is short and one is tall
One can play music, the other is tall.

They both play wiffle, and drove in runs
Eric One drove in two, Eric Two just one.

That were all of the runs scored today
despite eight wifflers come to play.

One of the Erics took the mound shirt-less
And retired the side on seven pitches (they were Kurt-less).

The other Eric made sparkling plays with the glove
And also showed some woodwind love.

Bob, Stats, our Eric, and Pete
Went down to ignominious one-run defeat

Whilst  Adrian, JD, their Eric, and Andy
Savored a victory, and rose a shandy.

That's our blog story: pitch by pitch.
Can you tell which Eric is which?

Bob, Matt, Eric, Pete - 1 run, 16 hits
Adrian, Andy, Eric, JD - 2 runs, 9 hits

HR: none

Fresh Blood

This week saw four rookies move up to The Show and make their OWAC debut at NBF in a rollicking 5-on-5er.  Welcome aboards to Chris Flynn, Mark Murdock, Matt Antrobius, and Chris "Ronnie James" Diodoardo.  

Saturday's titanic struggle had plenty of both O and D with basically everyone taking turns slapping hits and canning corn.  Special shout-out to Dewey who had been semi-sidelined after ankle surgery.  His sprinting snag to the left field line was not only the the day's best grab, but also officially takes him off the DL.  

The Vans struck early by extracting two-rarely allowed Mosserian runs via a parade of singles.  They struck again in the middle innings on an even rarer one-armed smash triple with 'em loaded to drive in three more and increase their advantage to five.  The Halens were resilient however, and showed their offensive prowess in the late innings by racking up eight which would prove sufficient to secure the come-from-behind victory.  

Adrian, Chris F, Dewey, Eric, JD  -  5 runs

Bob, Chris D, Kurt, Mark M, Peter  -  8 runs

HR  -  None

Faux Salamis = None, but multiple close calls!

Those Guys Sucked. Period.

There was a wiffle game for Memorial Day Monday, but only one of the teams showed up to play. Oh, Adrian, Kurt, Matt and Tim Y. took their turns on the mound and in the batters box. But they sucked. Wind.

For a few of the middle innings, they were developing a theory that they had been cursed - first by J.D. bringing a red bowl to the game and claiming it was Kurt's. Then by Adrian wearing Pete's "UMass" cap. Late in the game, the bowl was converted into "Rally Bowl" but in the end.. They. Sucked. Rally Bowl sucked.

These White Sox of wiffle couldn't field grounders. These Orioles of Oakwood could not score a single run. Nine innings of suck. "We suck, but hey the game took a full two hours!"

JD, Andy and Pete did not suck. They translated 24 hits into 5 runs, which Does. Not. Suck.

Suck, More Suck, Suckier, Suck King - 0 runs, 14 hits
Andy, JD, Pete - 5 runs, 24 hits

HR: none

New Rule for 2018!

It has recently come to the attention of Judicial Authorities that the Oakwood Wiffle & Ale Club Committee on Rules has not met in some time. At the same judicial proceeding an interpretation was requested of the following, little-known, proviso in the OW&AC Bylaws:

A well regulated Wiffleball Game, being necessary to the perpetuation of a free Club, the right of the Rules Committee to meet and make Rules, shall not be infringed.

This sacred, inviolable proviso has been interpreted to mean the Rules Committee can meet at any time, place, manner of its choosing and that its decisions are by definition right and true for the good of the Game. So there.

Accordingly, the Rules Committee recently met and has provided this report (see below) which we gratefully receive to our benefit. In case you are wondering, the meeting was properly noticed and advertised. It was posted on the community board at the back entrance to the Oakwood Dorothy Lane Market - right behind the plastic bag recycling bin. If you missed that - it is your OWN fault. Period.

Anyhooo.. the following Committee Report is provided:

REPORT OF THE BASEBALL-WIFFLEBALL EQUIVALENCE SUB-SUB-COMMITTEE OF THE COMPETITION SUB-COMMITTEE OF THE OW&AC COMMITTEE ON RULES.

The sub-sub-committee takes seriously its mandate to continuously evaluate options for making our great wiffle Game an asymptotically better approximation of the game of Baseball. We have recently focused on an area in which our Game can better match baseball rules and at the same time restore the critical balance between Pitcher and Batter that can, in proscribed circumstances, go awry.

It has been the case for centuries that to complete a strikeout the catcher must cleanly catch the third strike pitch. If the catcher muffs such catch, or if the pitch bounces, the catcher must either tag the batter out or throw the ball to first base for a "force out" (recorded as 2-3). The batter in such a moment may attempt to reach first base safely by manner of "running."

The sub-sub-committee notes the sad absence of any equivalent for this rule in our Game. Also noted is the strict prohibition on "running." Therefore the following rule shall be enforced starting with the 2018 Championship Season:

"IF a batter should swing and miss for strike three on a wiffle pitch that bounces on the ground before striking the Wall, the following matrix shall determine the outcome of such at bat:

1. If there are less than 2 outs and a runner is at first base the batter is OUT, by Strikeout.
2. If there is no runner at first base or there are 2 out (regardless of runner case) the following shall apply:
   a. A new CATCHER'S CIRCLE with a radius of 54 and three-quarters inches shall be drawn on the asphalt from the point at the base of the Wall directly below the center of the Strike zone. See accompanying diagram for visual aid.
   b. If after striking the Wall the pitched ball comes to rest within the Catcher's Circle, the Batter shall be Out by Strikeout.
   c. If after striking the Wall the pitched ball exits the Catcher's Circle in fair territory from its own momentum the batter shall be Out by K2-3.
   d. If after striking the Wall the pitched ball exits the Catcher's Circle in foul territory from its own momentum the batter shall be Safe at First Base by K-Wild Pitch.
   e. If the batter should exit the batters box before any of the above determinations are made, he shall be deemed to have abandoned his opportunity to reach base and shall be Out by Strikeout.
   f. If the batter intentionally touches the pitched ball after it strikes the Wall in order to impede, change, direct, influence, redirect, or otherwise affect the natural momentum of the ball he shall be out by Strikeout and at least one outfielder shall immediately yell, "DEPLORABLE!" in a voice of sufficient volume to be heard by the guy across Aberdeen Avenue who insists on mowing his lawn during EVERY GAME.
3. Runners aboard who are forced shall advance; if a runner should be advanced by force to score, the batter shall be credited with 1 (one) RBI.
4. The Commissioner shall with all due haste construct a tool for the accurate and correct drawing of this Catcher's Circle."

Diagram:

Your compulsory acquiescence to this rule is appreciated. The  Committee on Rules hopes the rest of your April is as great as our great Game.

END OF REPORT

So there it is! We can't wait to get out there and play our new, better Wiffleball!!

The hitters are ahead of the pitchers

Spring Training Wiffle got underway this morning at Nance Bradds, believe it or not. The conditions were just enough on the acceptable side of the lines to bring out four stalwarts.

It's Spring Training so the stats don't count. They so don't count we didn't even keep 'em. Let's just say, some people are happy about that; some are not.

A four-and-one-half inning game ending in walk off fashion in the bottom of the fourth and a 10-9 final. There were only three half innings when there were no runs. The hitters are indeed ahead of hte pitchers. Happy new year, OW&AC.

Wiffies: February 10, 2018

The date of the Wiffies Awards Banquet has been set: Saturday, February 10, 2018 at the White House. No kidding.