Evans for the Win

On a day wherein Andy Evans pitched two shutout innings and belted two Grand Slams (the real over the fence with the bases loaded kind), it was pretty much a done day for the home team of Pete, Matt and new guy Chris.

For the fans of the stats and rules of this league, the Visitors had a very rare 13 run inning.  With 9 runs in, 2 out and the bases loaded, Andy launched one of his two Grand Salamis for the 13 run total. As it happened, 13 was the margin of victory.

When you lose 21-8, there's nothing more to do but break into song...

Pete, Matt, and Chris for the Tony!

Hansoo could also sing this song, if he'd like.  He probably had the roughest game you can have while your team is winning by double digits.  He had not one but two dingers caught for outs well past the homer line.

Andy, Eric, Hansoo, Kevin - 21 runs, 27 hits

Chris, Matt, Pete - 8 runs, 14 hits

HR: Evans - 2, Berwald

So Close

Sometimes a game turns on a single play, a single moment, a single act that makes the difference in the score and wins the game for one team, and leaves the other team shaking their heads. Such was the case at the Wiffle Yard today. As much as I'd like to tell you who made the difference today, and as much as Hansoo would like to thank that person, we can't.  Because we don't know. We don't know who, but we do know WHAT...

The perpetrator of this crime, changed the course of the October 26, 2014 wiffle game, because Adrian's perfectly placed foul ball did not go through the broken hoop and did not result in a Grand Salami. Hansoo Ha was the pitcher who did not give up the Grander.

With a final score of 12-8, that vandalized grand slam was the difference in the game. And we have three angles on that bloop off Z-Gon's bat.  WE KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE IN.

Anyway, beautiful Autumn temps and sunshine made for an enjoyable morning of bat-and-ball play. Photos to prove it:

Hansoo Dazzles Batters From the Sun

Bug. Baker.

The Lovely Totals

Ducks (Hansoo, Peter) - 12 runs, 27 hits

Triangles (Adrian, Matt, Tim) 8 runs, 19 hits

HR: None, but there shoulda.

Fall Ball

So it was cool to cold and the ball just wasn't gonna carry - especially with the morning wind blowing in.  So it was decided that all batters could use "Esther Holmes" (Norse name: Mjolnir) - the fat black bat that just murders wiffle balls. The yellow bat was unloved today:

 Also the Grand Slam rule was suspended due to..

VANDALS!!

Anyway, the juiced bat delivered 14 runs for the game, not a bad output.  The visitors took an early 5-0 lead, but the homeboys stormed back with a 7 run inning, and then added ticky-tack on runs with homers and "two-out triples" and such. Stupid Royals.

Adrian, Hansoo, Matt - 5 runs on 23 hits
Andy, Peter - 9 runs on 17 hits.

HR: Berwald

Final note: The League Statistician is undertaking a complete review of Tim Baker's season stats. Tim's stats did not change today as he didn't play.

Playoff Wiffle

Since the Dayton Bourbon and Kite-flying squad never meets on Sundays, today's players did the next best thing, the Oakwood Whiffle & Ale Club. 8 sluggers assembled on this breezy day and proceeded to play for two and a half hours. Tim, Matt, Hansoo and Adrian put a beat-down on the home team of Andy, Jeremy, Fred and Peter, 9 - 3. Several players had multiple hits but many runners on the home team were stranded including two ground-out double plays by Da Commish. Andy had 6 hits in a row and Hansoo was smacking the ball all over the field. And Adrian hit a bases-loaded triple over a drawn in outfield to crush the home boys' spirits.

Stats are up to date; Keep a look-out for info on next week's match.

Adrian, Hansoo, Matt, Tim - 9 runs on 25 hits
Andy, Fred, Jeremy, Pete - 3 runs on 15 hits

HR: None.

Playing out the String

Much like a meaningless Red Sox -Yankees game in late September, when the clubs don't play their regulars, Wifflers were not to be found this final Saturday of the regular season.

No game - on account of too few players.

I did however, take the time to catch up the stats.  Welcome to the spreadsheet, Mike Haverland! Click the link to the right to see the cold hard facts.

_________, ___________ - 0
________, ________ - 0

HR: none.

Ipecac-ki-yay!

Adrian takes not one for the team, but two, in this brutal 17-0 loss.

The visitors stranded three runners in the first and the home boys never looked back scoring ten runs in the bottom of the first.  No one knew, but one was all they would ever need in this lopsided game, served with a side of nutty enigma sauce.

Adrian, Eric, Matt - 0
Peter, Hansoo - 17

HR: none.

The New Sam Gibbs Field

Heeding the sage advice of this blogger, the Oakwood School District repaved the blacktop at E.D. Smith Elementary School.  And today 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, TEN wifflers showed up for the first ever game at Sam Gibbs Field. I took a video, but apparently the high Quality of my new phone makes it too big to upload to Blogger. Sigh.

[Grrrr]

It was a morning of historic firsts, of course.  That murderers row of batters you see lined up waiting would have seen in the video waiting for the first pitch won the game 22-10.  SABRmetric analysis: There was a lot of hitting.

Here's your rundown of historic moments from today's action:

First Pitch: Peter Berwald to First Batter Fred Kirchner

First Strikeout: Kirchner (Berwald Pitching)

First Ball in Play: Glen Cebulash (also first flyout)

First Hit: Jeremy Long (also first single)

First Double: Fred Kirchner

First Triple: Hansoo Ha

First HR: Peter Berwald

First Goundout: Hansoo Ha

First Hit Batter: Don Terpstra

First 10-run ruled pitcher: Don Terpstra

First BB: Fred Kirchner (Elias Zammaron pitching)

First Double Play turned: Peter Berwald

Father's Day Wiffle

Six dads; eight innings; twenty five runs on fifty-six hits.

The Artist accomplished the rare Double-Cycle collecting two each of a single, double, triple and homer.  For good measure he collected 2 more doubles after that. Ten RBI to boot.

But it wasn't enough.

Commish, Stats and the Human Rain Delay chipped away at the big lead Glen built and walked off with a 13-12 win.

Adrian, Gen, Kurt - 12
Matt, Pete, Jeremy - 13

HR: Cebulash - 2

FYI - we have reached the time of year for mid-week evening wiffle. Stats are .. current.

Thrashing

Brian, Kurt, and Tim killed Don, Matt, and Peter. End of story.

Brian, Kurt, Tim - 21 runs, 26 hits
Don, Matt, Peter - 9 runs, 17 hits

HR: Mosser, LaDuca

Codicil - \ˈkä-də-sil\

1. A legal instrument or text made to modify, or clarify, an existing document or text.

Today's six-inning 9-4 win for the home team was punctuated by several discussions of the several rules of our great game. Many feel that simple rules (and stats) are best, but when you delve in a serious manner into the origins and implications of these things you see that what you think is simple is not. It never is.

Take modern stats. People dislike OPS (On base percentage Plus Slugging) because they say it isn't a rate stat that tells me the likelihood of any event for the next at bat. The preferred "Batting Average" is thought to be an easy concept: hits divided by times at bat. But really, that denominator is very complex: it's plate appearances not counting the ones where you get hit by a pitch, or sacrifice yourself to advance a runner, or walk, but it does count the at bats where you advance a runner by a fly ball or ground ball but you are put out, unless the runner happens to score on a fly ball. Got that?

Affirmed!

So, so what if we have a double play rule that requires there be at least one runner on, but a triple play rule that does not. And we're among friends, so we can have a rule that a foul ball can roll back fair provided it hasn't hit the batter or the wall (with this codicil: it must roll fair prior to reaching the first or third base bag). We know this.

Speaking of that, Tim was serving some codicils on a platter on his second go-round on the mound - to the tune of six late runs for the home team. Those six, plus three runs earlier were enough to overcome Kurt's latest mammoth blast onto the Smith School roof. That ball's never coming down. Glen and Matt turned crucial double plays to prevent big innings; Matt's coming in the top of the final inning when it looked quite possible that he'd give up the five run lead.

All in all: beautiful day; beautiful play.

Fred, Kurt, Tim - 4
Glen, Matt, Peter - 9

HR: Mosser

Saturday Guest Blogger: Eric Z

NOW THAT'S WIFFLEBALL, SON

In a titanic, interminable struggle that lasted just eight minutes shy of high noon, the victorious Vans edged out the hopeful Halens by a final score of 12 to 11. This one had it all, folks: heroics, trick plays, ignominy, redemption…and ultimately renal failure.

An early freight train beat-down of Jeremy’s sore pitching arm, including a rooftop salami by Kurt, put the headlong Halens up by eight and things were looking insurmountable. But mount they did, sir, as the voracious Vans then feasted upon the molasses of one Don Juan Terpstra for seven to make it anybody’s game. Then it was time for theatrics, with new-guy “Tex” Adrian gloving a deep scorcher to rob The Bandit of a probable long-ball, along with what remained of his dignity.

In the ignominy department, The Don figured he had this week’s Summer’s Eve Award neatly slotted when he somehow booted a slow-roller right to his mound that had so little velocity on it that if you immortalized the moment in marble, the statue of the ball would be moving faster. But not so fast, Don! For our beloved Boog would come out of nowhere to snatch away Don’s trophy by botching a hat scoop on a roller of his own so agonizingly slow that it would take liquid nitrogen and lasers to achieve a lower energy state.

A big factor in today’s tussle was the glaring, merciless sun that turned a number of routine fly balls into costly extra base hits. Further upping the run tally was an unusually high number of bases awarded by walk. Although in Jeremy’s defense, pitching around Kurt was probably wise what with the aroma of salami still faintly detectable from the direction of the Halen’s hottest bat.

And while he allowed no runs on the day, Kurt’s pitching, fast and tricky as it was, actually yielded an improbable trifecta of smash singles to the full Van lineup in late innings. Krash then immediately returned to his task of spraying the vapid Vans with unhittable BB’s, including one absolute photon of a pitch to this writer that careful post-analysis of the game film indicates may have somehow actually nicked the ground before breaking straight up and catching the outer-most femtometer of corner chalk. If Maddux and Mata Hari had a kid, and that kid pitched, he’d pitch like that.

Adding to all the game-related mayhem was the presence of a constant stream of neighborhood civilian park-users. Kids on bikes, moms walking dogs, tween boys with errant basketballs, and some dude wheeling a cooler apparently containing a liquid so toxic that he wouldn't even describe it for us. Luckily, Commish's professional crowd control skills sprung into action, and he authoritatively called time so gaggles of girls could cross the field and all other manner of public relations got handled smoothly.

But in a day with more than its share of memorable plays, the one for the books had to be Terpstra’s unconscious, reflexive swing which connected with Jeremy’s double play toss, thereby making The Don arguably the first player in league history to score two hits in the same at bat. Now THAT’S wiffleball, my friends!!

Rain and Cold

It's too bad someone as un-creative as a wiffle statistician writes these blog posts, especially considering how much creative energy there is in this group.

To think how much pleasure readers around the globe would receive reading the weekly installment on This Week In Whiff, if only there were talent pressing the keyboard buttons.

There would be epic poems about extruded plastic bat makers; there would be long screeds about sporting culture and Oakwood tradition - but they wouldn't feel long. No, indeed you'd wish there was more, and you'd cry yourself to sleep waiting for the next blog post. There would by soaring prose about heroic pitcher-batter confrontations, and allusions to the golden years of Hollywood and Madison Avenue. The pieces would analogize to the greats of baseball in a way that would proffer understanding to the reader, but by no means conjure any sense of disproportion.  In short, it would be the best wiffle blog in the world.

Instead, we get game stories.  And today's game sucked - because it rained and it was cold and then it got windy, too.  But when you actually have six players, you really have to play. No matter what. I guess we should be happy that the sun came out for the parade and all, but I'm not. I'm selfish, and I would rather have played in better weather.  I can't be happy for others while I'm busy wallowing in MY self-pity.

There was the first ever attempted Triple Play - by Matt.  This was done with a runner on third, so it was perhaps not the wisest decision.  That runner scored - but would have anyway on the subsequent home run by Kevin. Kevin and Kurt both hit for the cycle. The stats are updated, blah, blah, blah.

Brent, Kevin, Kurt - 6
Eric, Matt, Peter - 2

HR: Mosser, Campbell

Wiffle Victory Selfie Party!!

Another football score for a final today as Commish and Stats defeated Krash and the Artist (yes, THAT artist!) by a 14-10 tally.

Lotsa hitting, lotsa runs allowed (except Kurt who retired all nine batters he faced, eight by strike out). Stats hit for the cycle. Peter drove in 10. The stats are current as of May 11, 2014.

There was much snapping of camera phone pictures after the final out.

Glen: Post Game Picture

Bad Selfie

  

Good Selfie

Morning, Theory!

Lack of players resulted in a Tank's breakfast theory. Life is good if you're a wiffler.

Here for your information are a sample of the topics discussed at breakfast this morning. See if you can spot the one we did not actually talk about.

• Canadian Rock-Paper-Scissors champions
• May 4, 1919 blah blah blah
• Whether it is appropriate to judge Fleetwood Mac on anything less then their complete canon
• Descartes
• Art Deco busts
• Attack of the Clones: The Musical
• Measures of evolutionary success: Progeny vs. Progeny's progeny
• Pi
• How to "grip a change up"
• Whitewater rafting-appropriate travel coffee mugs
• Washington Wizards
• "Pi over 2"
• Bum shoulders
• Star Wars Day
• Decaf coffee
• The dependent co-development of the dictionary and the thesaurus: English contrasted with the French.
• Merits of higher education
• Spoons
• Lawyer jokes with reference to Accountant jokes
• Magellanic clouds
• Chris Anderson
• The amazing lack of habitat diversity in planets depicted in the Star Wars movies
• Why servers keep thinking Stats and Bandit are brothers
• "Vive La Resistance Bands"

Someday, we should play wiffle again. That was fun.

Sunday Wiffle

Let it be said, there wouldn't have been a game today if Don Terpstra wasn't there.

There wouldn't have been

a game today if

Don Terpstra wasn't there.

This was one of those games where everybody got hits, everybody drove in a run, everybody gave up a run. Everybody gets a juice box, today.

Some people got more hits than others. Some people gave up more runs than others. But still, only one juice box to a man.

Matt, Peter - 13 runs, 20 hits

Don, Kurt - 2 runs, 11 hits

HR: none.

[The stats keeping was a little wonky on one side, I might suggest. We played five innings, which means 15 outs.  There were only 7 outs tallied, however, but that is compensated for in the stats, which are .. current.]

No Wiffle Today, So Let's Talk Ale

There are two nouns in this club name, after all, and it is only right that someone blog about the "A" in OWAC. We have many experts, aficionados and savants of beer here in the League, but since none of them are here to write it, I'll share my recipe for

SHANDY!!!

As you are all aware, I know, the shandy is a beer-juice mixed drink, typically made with lemonade.  Other variants include use of apple juice or cider, or even carbonated sodas. These have alternative names as well, such as the Biermischgetränke, the Potsdammer, your Whizz Peach, a Berliner Weisse mit Schuss, or the Radler. Broadly known in the industry as "shandies" here in the States, these are the fastest growing segment of the beer market in both the large commercial segment as well as the "craft" brews genre.

1. Choose your ingredients.  And choose wisely. You're looking for a lighter beer - a wheat beer, a lager, or even a pilsner for a more complex shandy. As for your mixer, tradition says lemonade, but many prefer a carbonated lemon drink, such as a San Pellegrino. You can choose according to your taste, but if you want a carbonated lemon drink and your only choice is Sprite or 7-Up, I recommend you go with ordinary lemonade.

2. Mix. The correct proportions are 1:1, and it is proper to pour the lemonade first and then the beer, so as to make sure the drink has a "head." Shandies get presentation points, beyond their refreshing palette.

3. (Optional) Ice.  Some add ice to the beverage and then stir to blend the flavors. A vigorous pour and create a sufficient blending, however.

4. Enjoy!

Remember: Wiffle Season is also Shandy Season! Here-Here!

Why is this Wiffle Game Different from All Other Wiffle Games?

Another beautiful spring morning for wiffle.  Another five men bestrode the pavement for the game.

It was close until the bottom of the second.

With a 31-7 final score, there is both a lot and not much to talk about. Coincidentally, that was also the final score when the Israelites played Pharaoh's Army at the Red Sea.

New guy Don was denied entry into the stats for one week because those in attendance chose not to keep stats. He was a double shy of the cycle for the day. And then he had this...

Be sure to watch to the end. Nothing like lefty-on-lefty action to enliven the day.

Brent, Don, Tim - 7

Fred, Kurt, Matt - 31

HR: Tepstra

The stats remain current. Theory stats are current to the best of my knowledge.

We do Wiffle

.. and we do it quite well.  There's no doubt our Saturday gatherings and monthly homage to the "Ale" part of our name are testament to our collective dedication to our craft of Bat-and-Ball play.

I declare this the best Wiffle and Ale Club in the world!

I ask ye partisans of plastic to attune your mind to the assessment of a different focus of dedication, and to determine for yourselves and from there to develop a consensus on this simple question:

Which of these groups are the superior Trekkies?

Group one: FIVE YEAR MISSION

Yes, that is a glockenspiel.

Five Year Mission is an indie rock band that has set for themselves a simply stated goal: to write a rock song for each of the 79 episodes of the original Star Trek television show. Thus far they have released 3 albums covering just over half the series, plus a special EP with four different songs for "The Trouble with Tribbles."

Here is a good representative sample of their musical stylin's:

Group 2: STAR TREK CONTINUES

Star Trek Continues has set themselves another seemingly simple task.  To make the final two years of the Original Star Trek series five year run.  They intend to write, produce and release (apparently free and without commercials) on the internet two full seasons of Star Trek. Here is a sample of their work (two full-length episodes already produced):

So, again I ask you, again.  Who does Trekkie better?

Oh, there was a game today. Eric and the Commish bested Tim and Krash Mosser.  Once again, Kurt homered.

Eric, Peter - 10 runs, 22 hits
Tim, Kurt - 6 runs, 18 hits

HR: Mosser (2)

Stats are .. current.

Be the Story

You may ask..

"How can a wiffler start opening day 6-for-6 at the plate, go 8-for-11 on the day and NOT be the story?" Good question.

It can happen when some other wiffler hits a walk off grand slam to win the game.

Then you might ask..

"How can a wiffler hit a walk off grand slam to win an opening day game and NOT be the story?" Better question.

That can happen if and only if there are two wifflers playing in tweed hats.

Today Jeremy and Fred strode upon the asphalt in true gentlemen's chapeaux.   Their pitcher-batter confrontations, beneath those sterling boaters, were moments of civility and style. The woolly bonnets elevated the whole affair, as the homers beat the guests on a grand walk-off homer, by Dr. Mosser.

Headpieces make the man; tweed makes the wiffler. The millinery work on these tams were a sight to behold, blending browns, grays and blues into classy toppers, worthy of opening day pomp and bunting.

You can have your bowlers, your sombreros, the odd fedora, pork-pies. A skimmer, or even a ten-gallon can be fine, too. Nothing wrong with a Stetson, nor for that matter a Panama or a stove pipe.  But for a wiffler - it simply must be tweed.

Eric, Jeremy, Matt - 6 runs, 17 hits
Fred, Kurt, Peter, Tim - 7 runs, 14 hits

HR - Mosser (1)

Men in Hats.

Early Candidate for MVP

So, did the sidewalk fairy come to your house this week?

These orange X's are a rite of spring in our fair Oakwood.  But let it be said, smooth sidewalk surfaces are the oWAR of city service metrics, because they are indicative of soooooo many other positive parameters. Like sidewalk plowing. Like fewer school days missed because of said cleared sidewalks. So I support the sidewalk inspection regime. 100%.  I do, however, wish some cheeky public servant would be more creative in marking the derelict squares:

That. Would. Be. Eeeepiiiic.

I note as well that our sidewalk fairy did make a pass along Aberdeen Avenue, as well:

Do you recognize this beloved driveway apron as the motor entrance to historic Nance Bradds Field? Note you the X's on said apron??  Looks like the schools will need to do a little work on the sidewalks.

Oh, would that the sidewalk fairy had taken just a few minutes to walk around our beloved asphalt. What would s/he have seen...?

Here's a suggestion from the Jolly Green Sidewalk Giant:

In other words: FIX THE PAVEMENT, SCHOOL BOARD. Whomever gets this done, gets my vote for 2014 League MVP.
*******
In other news, today was the final day of Wiffle Spring Training, with a very Grapefruit score of 11-0. Here are the cumulative Spring Training stats (noted here alphabetically and then to be forgotten since Spring Stats don't count):

Name	BA	SLG	OPS	AB	1B	2B	3B	HR	BB	RBI
Berwald	0.444	0.444	0.889	27	12	0	0	0	0	3
Campbell	0.417	0.542	0.958	24	8	1	1	0	0	3
Lindsay	0.517	0.793	1.310	29	8	6	1	0	0	9
Mosser	0.550	0.600	1.150	40	20	2	0	0	0	7
Zamonski	0.545	0.727	1.273	11	4	2	0	0	0	1

It's a sluggers' league, gents, so make sure you come out for Opening Day next weekend!!

#letsgetthispartystarted

#above40andnotraining

This is the key for playing wiffle - gotta be above forty degrees and not raining.  This is also a typical description of a wiffler - above 40 and no training. Both conditions were largely in play today and five wifflers got in some spring training wiffle this morning.

#springtrainingdoesntcount

This is a good thing from Kurt's and Eric's points of views, since each of them allowed five run innings today.

#seasonofleisure

Low key stats this year. The boys will be counting up the hits, homers, and RBI, but not the pitching stats. We'll know who had monster years at the plate, but we won't know who gave 'em up. Keeping stats today was a little rusty, but here's what got tallied:

Eric - 6-for-11, 1 RBI
Kevin - 5-for-11, 3 RBI
Matt - 5-for-11, 2 RBI

Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy!

Kurt - 12-for-20, 3 RBI
Peter - 7-for-19, 3 RBI

So a 6-6 tie.

#whyget2outswhenyoucanget1?

Not withstanding our annual meeting of the rules committee, the basic rules of this game have not changed in any appreciable way since the dawn of this league. Nevertheless, Eric, who really was just looking to get his Spring work in, eschewed not one, not 2 but three opportunities to turn double plays in the final inning. This is what let the duo of Kurt and Pete back in the game.

#greatestwifflecomebackin2014

Happy Spring, wifflers!!!