Glorified BP

Humid and cool, only three players, so we played 1 on 1 on 1, but chose to keep only the chalk score. No paper. As can be seen by the final tallies, lotsa hits, lotsa runs. Nobody pitched great, but Dr. Mosser explained that he was "experimenting." This is apparently not the same as "practicing."

Somewhere along the morning Matt had a leaping left hand grab - with his cell phone in his right - taking a homer away from Peter. He had received an important text from his sister-in-law in Binghamton, NY. But the Lindsays taketh, and the Lindsays giveth away.  Same inning Peter hit a long fly ball in Emma Lindsay's direction and she ... let it bounce off her hands and over the home run line.

Later Emma had a nice single off Kurt; if we kept score, she'd be batting .500. That's my girl.

As the morning wore on, Matt ran out of gas but gutted through a long inning with Peter batting. Probably gave up at least half of those fourteen runs. In fairness to Kurt, he did not get his fourth time at bat because I had to get Emma to soccer.

Peter - 14
Kurt - 9
Matt, Emma - 7

Where to start?

Ok! Saturday Morning Wiffle. Here are the rules: Watch the Wiff Cards slide show and list the first four wifflers you see in order. NO CHEATING!!

The guy who takes the mound and throws all kinds of crazy pitches and even alternates (pitch-by-pitch) between underhand and overhand pitches; ends up giving up 3 runs anyway. Goes 3-for-12 at the plate, but makes the critical outs with runners in scoring position all day, including 2 Beltrans in the final inning, one with the bases loaded to end the game.  .... Matt Lindsay


The guy with the bum shoulder who pitches wiffle balls underhand, but then manages two scoreless innings, including 2 strikeouts.  Induces three straight ground balls in one inning after getting in a first and third jam. Goes 10-for-13 at the plate, but manages only 1 RBI because his team mate is no help. .... Glen Cebulash


The guy who stayed up way too late watching pornography from central Europe, but still pitches two solid innings, allowing only one run. Uses a tomahawk swing to go 6-for-12 at the plate but can't drive in a single run because his team mate is REALLY inept. .... Eric Zamonski


The guy who threw three scoreless innings, including 7 strikeouts, and didn't surrender a run lowering his ERA to a Dave-beating 1.48, but was disappointed that he only hit one batter in the head. Groused about not getting a fair call on a hit to the roof, costing him an RBI on a day that he got 3 of his team's 4 RBI. Hit into 2 double plays.   ... Kurt Mosser


A contentious day from the start as Glen and Matt argued over whether Eric would show. Matt threw fits when Glen struck him out.. and then REALLY lost  it when he discovered that Kurt and Glen declined to record any of the fourth inning on the scoresheet.

Kurt was pissed when a shot he hit to the purple area of this picture....

was declared foul by the pitching team.  This led to angry words. Glen was upset when Eric fielded a grounder with his feet outside the Mosser box, but hand in the box and it was declared an out.  Glen was incensed when Matt took not one but two phone calls while pitching the first inning, and later made a third call while pitching the third. Get a life.

Anyway, without Peter it was the wiffle equivalent of



Live long and prosper!

Controversy!

What looked like might be a wee bit chilly turned into a great morn - -

Sorry, can't blog. Gotta take this call. Really, sorry.

Away Game

Banished from Nance Bradds by a dozen or so parked cars, four intrepid Thursday Night wifflers, went to Kettering in search of open ground. Hastily drawn lines generous to the hitter were sketched, and a very large strike zone was chalked on the wall and we were underway.

In the hitter-friendly confines of Roush Field, the lonely outfielder has a lot of ground to cover:

And the balls were flying in this place.

With the game scoreless entering the second inning, da Commish took the mound and made some history. Bad history. Not Dresden bad, not 20 runs bad, but noteworthy, for sure.

To this day in this season no game had featured more than 3 home runs, total.  Today, Kurt Mosser hit three home runs - in an inning. To date, obviously, no pitcher had ever surrendered three home runs to the same batter in one game. That unfortunate record now falls on Peter.

And Prof. Mosser went on to hit a fourth dinger, which is the most ever in a single game. So there is really only one way to respond:

Yes, the books must be balanced.

Matt, Kurt - 9

Glen, Peter - 5

W: Mosser

L: Berwald

The Emperor of Statistics

The Emperor of Statistics, as the parable has it, has sent you, the humble wiffler, a message as you cower in the remotest corner of the Imperial fields.  The message has been sent to you alone.


The Emperor has commanded the messenger to kneel by his lawnchair and has whispered the message to him.  So important is this message to the Emperor that he ordered the messenger to whisper it back to him.  


Upon confirmation of its correctness the messenger sets off on his appointed task.  The messenger is a powerful, unflappable  and determined man, pushing ahead, first with his right arm and then with his left; he cleaves his way through the throngs of spectators.  If he encounters resistance he simply points to his chest which bears the insignia of the Imperial Stat.  But the masses are vast and have no end.  If he could just reach the grass how fast he would fly and soon you would welcome the tip of his cap at your lonely station.  Instead, he vainly wears out his strength, having not even made it past the batter's box.  Never will he even head toward first base.  And, if he succeeded in that nothing would be gained for he would next have to fight his way to second and, if he succeeded in that still nothing would be gained, as it would be third and so on and so on for thousands of years: and if at last he should suddenly dart to left field, the multitudes would be as thick and deep as eternity.  Nobody could fight his way to you, not even with a message from a dead man.  But, you stand at your position as the sun rises high over the park and you dream it to yourself.

The Stat Story

A heads-up for anyone who didn't see this note at Stathead or BBTF... At 10 p.m. on 9/18, MLB Network is running a special Behind The Seams called "The Stat Story" -- a documentary (narrated by Bob Costas) about the history of sabermetrics, as well as its spread into front offices over the past few decades.

Woo-Hoo!!!

Bringin' da Junk

Six wifflers were assembled at the appointed hour for the Labor of Wiffle Ball on Labor Day morn.  Republican Dave, Stats and the Commish hubristicly took the field confident in a blow out win because Glen was on the other team.

Fools.

Glen pitched decently, though found himself unable to hit many of the underhand pitches he received. It was Eric Zamonski, who arrived in the second inning, who made ALL the difference. Reader, I ask you to decide what was the more important of Eric's contributions today. Your choices:

1. Eric was added to the Visiting team of Glen, Han-Soo and Kurt. Adding Eric allowed them to push back Glen's underhand pitching to the fourth inning, and also made sure that Glen would only pitch once. With an ERA of 27.00 (that's three runs per INNING), minimizing Glen's IP is a positive strategy.

2. Eric pitches some good $hi##y junk, to borrow a phrase. The ball looks like it comes out of his elbow and you don't know where it's gonna go. Up? Down? Tail away? Dave (R-OH) had him figured out (4-for-5 off him for the day), but Matt and Peter were stymied by him in the third.

But rules are rules, and Glen must eventually pitch. And so he did, but REALLY well. Seriously. He ended up allowing just 2 runs on a 2 RBI triple by Dave. But he followed that up with a ridiculous strike out of Stats to end the threat right there.

[Matt, who was due to pitch next, fell into a little tantrum from that strikeout and then hit the first batter he faced in the ribs who was Kurt for which he was not sorry at the time, but he is now. That has no place in the game no matter how good it feels (and sounds!).]

The 2-0 lead held for a while, until Eric (who you may recall MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE) allowed three more in the bottom of the 7th. A merry-go-round of singles did all the damage, with 2 RBI from Matt and 1 from Peter.

It made the difference because Matt, pitching again in the top of the 8th, allowed two runs from a bases loaded double by the aforementioned Kurt Mosser (who must have really enjoyed those particular RBI, and deservedly so). In fact, he went opposite field for that double in a classic hit where they ain't. Or weren't. But the three run lead did hold as Glen, representing the tying run, flew out to end the game.

Glen, Han-Soo, Kurt, Eric - 2
Dave, Matt, Peter - 5

W: Eldridge
L: Cebulash

NOTES!!
Kurt passed Han-Soo in the batting title race with a 7-for-10 day, while Han-Soo (and the new doo) managed only 4-for-10. Kurt, now batting .527 is now 0.002 ahead of Han-Soo's .525. Riveting (labor reference).

Dave pitched three scoreless innings, lowering his ERA to an even 1.50. Kurt was similarly effective, but only pitched two innings. Kurt's ERA dropped less and now stands at 1.63.  Both men allowed two hits; Dave K'd 6, Kurt K'd 5.

Peter Berwald managed to stay one strikeout ahead of Matt (81 to 80) in the race to be the King of K's (as a batter).

There were no homers today and Kurt and Glen remain deadlocked at 10.

Profile in Wiffle Courage: Glen Cebulash

Lesser wifflers have ended their seasons with a bum shoulder. Not Glen "The Artist" Cebulash. The man can't lift his canvases any more, and he can't pitch overhand any more. But is he NOT painting? I don't think so. Is he NOT wiffling? No, he is NOT not wiffling. He is gutting it out on the hot asphalt of Nance Bradds field every Saturday, no matter what.

Glen hurt his shoulder in mysterious circumstances, and is only able to pitch underhand. This has not helped his ERA, at all.  On the other hand, Da Commish agreed that in turn he should only be pitched to underhand, and that has certainly helped his batting average.

Today, Glen was responsible for 100% of the runs scored. And there were a LOT of runs scored today. For example, Glen led off the top of the fifth with a deep, soaring solo home run off Dave Eldridge. This ruined the shutout that Dave and Peter had going to this point. (It also really tightened the ERA race as Dave's ERA rose to 1.64, while Kurt's 1 scoreless inning pitched lowered his ERA to 1.70! Fantastic drama, I'm sure the reader will agree.) (It ALSO tied him in the Home Run race with Kurt Mosser at 10. DOUBLE DIGITS, baby!)

It is Glen's mound work where his true character shines. In his prime, a crafty righty was he. Now? Well, let's say.. the batters are catching up to his stuff. After holding Dave and Pete to a mere five runs in the second, Glen was touched up for twenny in the fifth.

Yup. 20. 

Tying Laura Hume for the worst single inning in the Statistical Era.

But the smile never left Glen's face. He loves this game, Ladies and Gentlemen and Eric. And we love him.

--------------------------------------------------------------

We cannot overlook some astounding numbers on the day: Pete and Dave had good days with the bat (when Matt or Kurt were not pitching).

Dave: 16-for-17 off Glen, 3 2b, 2 3b, HR, 17 RBI off Glen. 2-for-6 off Kurt/Matt

Pete: 14-for-19 off Glen, 2 3b, 8 RBI. 1-for-5 off Kurt/Matt.

And obviously, these two both pitched well, too. 

Dave: 3 IP, 1 R, 2 hits, HR, 2 K.

Peter: 3 IP, 0 R, 5 hits, 2 K.

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 1

Peter, Dave - 25

W: Berwald

L: Cebulash

Careful examination of the scoresheet revealed that the final score was actually 25-1.

Mac

Just now available from Da Commish. Will be in the Wiff Cards Slideshow in about a day.