This Confounding Game

I had a conversation with an American recently, and he proceeded to voice some of the typical solipsisms Americans hold dear about Football, or as he called it, "Soccer."  "How can a game that doesn't care who wins, doesn't even care if someone scores, be a sport, really?"  This statement was delivered in stereotypically American fashion.  No recognition that it might not be the majority opinion in America.  No acknowledgment of its hypocrisy.  As if American "sports" have no internal contradictions.

Take this game of Whiffle, for example.

In yesterday's action at Nance Brads, our Commish and Matt hosted Kurt and Tim in a six-inning game.  The final score -
Kurt, Tim - 1
Peter, Matt - 2
- does not reveal the confounding inner workings of this game.

First, there is no way to say this nicely, Stats was totally useless at the plate.  (Someone should tell him - his head is flying out on every swing.)  The home side took 5 turns at bat - 15 outs.  Matt made 11 of them.  ELEVEN.  There were two innings, TWO, in which Matt made all three outs, a height to which Kurt could not dare dream.  It was as if the Commish was playing 1-on-2 and he only got 1 out per inning.  He had to be perfect.

And he nearly was.  The Commish went 8-for-12 on this day (7 singles and a double).

But with all that, Matt drove in the team's 2 runs, with 2-rbi triple of Baker in the second.  How, I ask, is that possible?  Can that be right?

Then there was the pitching.  Peter entered this game with an ERA just above 1; Matt with an ERA of exactly 6.  Six is a watershed level for Whiffle ERAs.  It's a dividing line between pitchers and throwers, like the Mendoza Line is for batters.  It needs a name - so please send your suggestions for the name of this line in the comments to this post.

Peter and Stats pitched with little trouble in their first rotations, and stranded five runners total in their second times pitching.  But it was Peter, da Commish, who surrendered the visitors' only run in the sixth, when Kurt lashed an opposite field triple to drive in one run.

Let me state that again for emphasis.  KURT LASHED AN OPPOSITE FIELD TRIPLE.  I venture that there has never been a ball hit in this league that was farther away from the defending players than this triple.  With Stats right around the doorway, this ball landed just fair in the triples area right down the left field line.  I guess real men hit it where they ain't.