The Most Interesting Man in Whiffle

There is a whiffler, a man, who only makes an appearance when it suits him.  All Star Weekend can be such a time, but it doesn’t have to be.  He silently graces the asphalt, is a model of TPD, and rarely will say, “Non,” to handmade pesto.  His fastballs do not rise, his line drives do not knuckle, his credit cards do not scan.  He is Ent - the most interesting man in Whiffle.

Ent did not play for the home squad in today’s game, though he was there all the same.  Ent did not surrender three straight hits to start the game - single-double-triple - and two runs.  That was Chris Anderson, who’s unblemished ERA shot up to 4.50 after allowing 3 runs today.  There was, however, some Ent in Peter, Ben, Brian and Tim as they faced just one over the minimum from the 2nd through the 5th - flustrating the visiting Brent, Dave (R), Glen, Kurt and Matt.  All the while the home side chipped away at the early deficit.  Doc Simpson hit a booming homer off the Artist; da Commish hit his own (which by the way brings him into a 4-4 tie for the league lead in dingers with the Artist) off Stats’ pitch and Brent’s index finger.  Going into the late innings it was 3-2 Visitors.

Ent could only shake his head disapprovingly as Stats attempted to use the league pitching stats as a guide to set the pitching order (rather than relying on the inventor of the Latin alphabet).  But Ent enforces karmic justice, and Stats gave up one of the two runs the visitors would surrender.  “Who is over-thinking now, Geek?” Ent asks rhetorically.  

In a 5-on-5 game, lasting 8 innings three players will pitch twice for each team.  Why did the home team have Doc Simpson pitching only once?  And Ben twice?  Remember Simpson has now pitched 6 innings total, and has gone 18 up, 18 down, with 16 Ks!!!!  Ben does not have similar stats.  This Ent knows.

In the late innings Ent switched sides, as is his wont.  The visitors added a run off Anderson in his second inning.  Brought Peter to the brink in his second, but didn’t score.  And then Ben (not Brian, not Ent) pitched the eighth.  It was not Ent that allowed two bases loaded hits (single, triple) and four runs.  Kurt followed his triple off Ben with a 1-2-3, 3 K bottom of the 8th to close out the 7-2 win.

Brent, Dave (R), Artist, Kurt, Stats, Ent - 7
Ben, Chris (A), Commish, Brian, Tim - 2

At the post All Star Banquet Ent ordered from off the menu; eschewed the popular Bloody Marys; regaled the Whiffle and Ale All Stars with tales of Whiffle in the day; and reduced a waitress (more bosom than brains) to a giggling mess when it came time to process nine tabs, because he, the most interesting man in Whiffle, is ... Manual Ent.

Notes:
The Visitors' 7 runs and 17 hits represent a true offensive explosion.  Home siders, mustering only 5 hits, albeit 2 solo homers in the mix, provided a more ordinary show with the bat.
Kurt "Country Gentleman" Mosser had more Bloody Marys than hits today - a feat duplicated by no other whiffler.