A Wiff of Underarm

The Artist Transforms the Game

Lacking a minyan for Sabbath wiffle, a game for Sunday morning was hastily organized and four players showed. Well, should we say three and a half, as Glen remains unable to pitch in the classic overhand fashion? Addressing this issue, Glen proposed a novel solution: As he would be pitching exclusively underhand, he would like to be pitched to exclusively underhand. This was posited as a way of balancing the books, shall we say.

There were shrugs all around and no objection. Dave Eldridge insisted that there be no increase in revenues as a part of this deal. He also asked that he be on Glen's team so he wouldn't have to pitch underhand.

So, is Glen here looking to innovate Wiffle on the scale of, say William Webb Ellis and football? Has he created the low-power option for players of Oakwood Wiffle and Ale? Can anyone choose (pre-game) to declare he/she will pitch underhand in return for receiving underhand pitches while at the bat? Please discuss in the comments.

Before you decide to take this option, be advised, Glen allowed 14 runs today, and produced only 2 from the underhand pitching he received. He surrendered 5 in the first, 6 in the third and 3 in the fifth, while his teammate, R-Dave, allowed only a single in two innings pitched and no runs. It was not clear why Glen pitched three innings and Dave only two.

Glen as a batter fared little better, though he did put solid plastic on the high arching pitches he saw. At least three fly outs were caught beyond the homer line, plus another which was not caught due to bad defensive positioning by Matt.  Those two runs raised Kurt's ERA to 1.82.

But Kurt raised his batting average even more, going 10-for-17, including hitting for the cycle. Stats went a good 9-for-17, including 5 doubles. Kurt drove in 10 of the visitors' 14 runs.

Kurt, Matt - 14
Glen, Dave - 3

W: Lindsay
L: Cebulash

Wednesday Night Wiffle, Last Thursday

It was pretty much over right after it got started, but there were blog-worthy performances to note

The Park was hot and muggy, but da Commish kept the others cool with lots of "fanning." Let it never be said that Peter doesn't serve this league.

A courageous (and also fashionably late) Glen Cebulash pitched two innings underhand, and only allowed 5 runs. I dare anyone to try to best that achievement - particularly if you are not on my team.

Boog and Krash feasted on pitching all evening. Kurt raised his average for the season to exactly .500. That is Han-Soo Ha territory, there. Where was Han-Soo, anyway? Where is Hans? Boog is up to .429. Nice, fellers.

Glen's late inning solo shot plated the home team's only tally.

Kurt, Tim - 6
Glen, Peter - 1

W: Mosser
L: Cebulash

The Girls of Summer

[I dug out this old post, from before there was a blog and stats and acceptable pants.  Ironically, it applies today, just as it did then. - The Artist]

There was a dream.....once.  A pastoral dream, a simple dream.  That
dream was wiffle-ball.

But now, that dream is ended.  Where are the boys of summer?  Where have
they gone?  To Maine?  To France?  To Boy Scout camp?  The game, alas,
is no more.

Who now among us is prepared to suit up and play?  Kurt and Glen.
That's right, you heard me, Kurt and Glen.  The last men.

Or....

Maybe they are the first men.  Perhaps, like Romulus and Remus before
them, they will suckle the she-wolf of summer and found a new dream, and
a new league, on the now empty ruins of Smith School playground, where
once, men dreamed.

So go ahead and frolic in your summer manses.  Toss another euro in the
fountain.  Roast one more weenie, but never forget:  there was a dream!

No Game

At exactly 8:28 I received this text from Commissioner Peter Berwald:

I can't play whiff, I don't feel very well.

This was my chance to run this show (for a day)! I gathered all the supplies one needs and headed to Nance Bradds Wiffle Park:

I took da Commish's parking spot. I had chairs, and chalk, a bat and balls. I had cold blue Gatorade. I was going to make the teams....

But only Kurt showed up and I could tell he wasn't serious: he didn't bring a hat. So we haven't played since the All Star Game (but it was good to skip the heat wave).

Remember that this Wednesday is the last Wednesday in July. Come on out for our final Wednesday Wiffle at 6:45.

Wiffie All-Star Saturday!

The OW&AC All Stars took to the field this Saturday, with photog Brian Kollig also in attendance. Look for dramatic action shots from him later.

On a day where the Visiting team won 12 to nothing, and Laura Hume managed to work her ERA to below 100 (now 85.91), the clear All Star MVP was...

Brent Mackintosh - 2011 All Star MVP

Brent Mackintosh is the Cubs' sole representative in the game. Brent's consistent 10-for-15 hitting (9 singles, 1 double) with 4 RBI was unmatched by any other wifflers on the day.  And there was nothing wrong with his pitching, either. 2 IP, 2 hits allowed, no runs and a strikeout. Brent lowered his season ERA to 28.35.

On both sides there was all-star caliber defense. A lot of running down fly balls, particularly Dave's (R-OH) fly balls hit to Stats.

Final ACTUAL Score: 12-0

As has come to be expected for any team that includes Kurt Mosser (who loves the stats, but refuses to take a turn on the scoresheet, or even to chalk his own RBI) the scoresheet and the scoreboard were incomplete for the Visitors.  Several RBI were not credited on the sheet or on the pavement, but ARE most certainly reflected in the stats.

BRENT, Dave, Kurt - 12
Glen, Laura, Matt, Peter - 0

W: Eldridge
L: Hume

Game #17: July 13, 2011

Wiffle History is Made

Remember this new rule?

Well, guess what happened this evening, on the 999th At-Bat of the season.

Yup. Dave put one through the hoop - the west hoop as a matter of fact. With his team down 4-0 in their last at bats as a matter of fact. Off the only remaining pitcher with a 0.00 ERA (Chris Anderson) as a matter of fact.

Frankly, from the outfield, it was not at all apparent that the ball went through the hoop (you can see that the net is damaged) and the ball went through the hoop without hitting the net. But it was clear from the instantaneous and simultaneous reactions of Dave and his team mates that it did go through the hoop.

Congrats, Dave.  You are forever a part of OW&AC history!

Dave, Peter, Tim - 4
Chris, Kurt, Matt - 4

The most remarkable tie-game EVER!

Game#16: July 9, 2011

“My prediction? I predict pain.” Clubber Lang in Rocky lll

Two years ago, Kurt and Brent beat Dave and Pete 2 – 1. So today, the commissioner decided to try those teams again, but this time adding the designated slugger and gold-glove fielder Glen "The Artist" Cebulash, (Glen is in too much shoulder pain to pitch). Glen has rotator cuff pain, a major enemy of wiffle. Glen is also dealing with some leg pain from rough-housing with the boys in Jersey…namely, his son.

This time the game was not so balanced as the Commish and Dave (R-Ohio) ripped Brent for 26 runs. (The score on the pavement read 23 because the straw-that broke the camel’s back and Brent’s shoulder was a 3–run triple by the commish that was never “chalked-up”).

In too much pain to continue, Kurt came in and closed the inning with 3 unhittable pitches to Dave.

Actually, Kurt pretty much pitched like that all day giving up one hit to Dave.

Brent gave up 4 runs in the 1^st inning, 2 in the 3^rd and 20 in the 5^th. 13 runs came with 2 outs.

Brent   3 / 10 hits with 1 RBI (off the Commish).  Wiffing 3 K's and 4 called backward K’s.

Glen    5 / 9   hits with 1 RBI (off Dave R-Ohio) - one hit was a double. 3 K's, 1 F & 1 G.

Kurt     3 / 9   hits with a triple. He had 3 K's and one called K, with 2 F's.

Brent threw    2 K’s, 2 G’s and 4 F’s.

Kurt threw      6 regular K’s, 1 backward K, 2 G’s and 1 F.

Dave 17/26    3 doubles, 1 triple and 1 HR (G.S.) for 15 RBI’s. 4 K's 1 called K, 4 F's.

Peter 15/25    1 double, 2 triples and 11 RBI’s. 4 k's, 3 G's and 2 F's.

Dave threw 7 K’s with two backward K’s getting all of his outs by strike-outs. 

   He gave up 5 hits – 1 run.

Pete threw 5 K’s, 2 looking and 3 backward K’s. He also fielded one grounder and

   had 3 caught balls for outs. The commish gave up 5 hits and one run.

2 Strike, Bandit and Da Commish walk into a bar...

"Rain?" When was this predicted? At 8:30 on Saturday, July 1 st , it was steadily drizzling. Yet, through the rain, an eager Korean braved the conditions northward to Nance Bradd's field. Not to be outdone, Eric the "Bandit" Zimonski came to the same venue from the opposite direction.

At home at the helm, the Commish told the troops to hang on until 9:00 to see if the rain would subside (although neither player read the e-mail as they were at the park).

Magically, at 9:00, the rain ended leaving in its wake only puddles and humidity.

By the time the commish got to the park at 9:20, he assumed, since the field was empty, the game would be cancelled. Then the day changed; in pulled Eric with the eager and fervent look of Brent at a beerfest or the Glen at a chicken-wing jamboree. He had seen me drive by and had swung his car around crossing 2 yards and nearly missing a dog-walker.

"Hans and I were here, ready to go," the Bandit reported. One quick call to Hans (who had driven over to UD) and we were in business. The commish made a few calls in an attempt to have a two on two or more, but no one was available so the decision was made to play one on one on one.

There is no question that having statistics at the game has changed the flavor as well as the general intent of the game (ask Ben!). So the question arose: to keep stats or just to play? Naturally, since all three players are doing pretty well in the stats, the decision was to keep them… no one had mentioned that the Bandit was operating on roughly 2-3 hours of sleep. I would like to add, that this wasn't evident until the 3 rd or 4 th batter when he lost his zeal, his hunger and his e.r.a.

The bandit opened the game at bat, the commish on the hill and Hans in the outfield. Despite getting a couple hits, the inning ended without any runs.

Hans pitched to the "Commish" and had a similar result, two hits, 3 outs.

Then Eric "The Bandit" took the mound and Hans had batting practice. He went 9 for 12 (including four doubles and two triples) knocking in 8 runs and that proved to be all he would need for the game.

The next few rounds yielded the following:

Eric went 5 for 17 with 7 k's at the plate for no runs. He grounded out 4 times and flew out once.

-On the mound he delivered 7 k's, getting the batters out with 3 ground-outs and 2 fly-outs but gave up 13 runs! He looked bedraggled but played-on.

Han's went 13 for 22 spraying 6 singles and hitting 5 doubles and 2 triples earning 8 runs and knocking in 8 RBI's.

Hans wiffed only 3 times and also hit 5 ground outs and e had 1 fly-out. Hans didn't need last raps.

-As a pitcher, he threw 7 k's, forcing 2 fly-outs and 1 missed double play ground-out (gx) for one run against the Commish.

Peter went 12 for 24 (on the day he stranded 7) hitting 4 doubles and 1 triple crossing the plate 6 times earning 6 RBI's. He had 1 ground out and 4 fly outs and, as usual, wiffed a bunch (7 times).

-On the hill he tossed 3 k's, snatched up 4 ground-outs and forced 2 fly-outs for no runs.

Happy Hans-8 Proud Pete-6 Exhausted Eric-0