Profile in Wiffle Courage: Glen Cebulash

Lesser wifflers have ended their seasons with a bum shoulder. Not Glen "The Artist" Cebulash. The man can't lift his canvases any more, and he can't pitch overhand any more. But is he NOT painting? I don't think so. Is he NOT wiffling? No, he is NOT not wiffling. He is gutting it out on the hot asphalt of Nance Bradds field every Saturday, no matter what.

Glen hurt his shoulder in mysterious circumstances, and is only able to pitch underhand. This has not helped his ERA, at all.  On the other hand, Da Commish agreed that in turn he should only be pitched to underhand, and that has certainly helped his batting average.

Today, Glen was responsible for 100% of the runs scored. And there were a LOT of runs scored today. For example, Glen led off the top of the fifth with a deep, soaring solo home run off Dave Eldridge. This ruined the shutout that Dave and Peter had going to this point. (It also really tightened the ERA race as Dave's ERA rose to 1.64, while Kurt's 1 scoreless inning pitched lowered his ERA to 1.70! Fantastic drama, I'm sure the reader will agree.) (It ALSO tied him in the Home Run race with Kurt Mosser at 10. DOUBLE DIGITS, baby!)

It is Glen's mound work where his true character shines. In his prime, a crafty righty was he. Now? Well, let's say.. the batters are catching up to his stuff. After holding Dave and Pete to a mere five runs in the second, Glen was touched up for twenny in the fifth.

Yup. 20. 

Tying Laura Hume for the worst single inning in the Statistical Era.

But the smile never left Glen's face. He loves this game, Ladies and Gentlemen and Eric. And we love him.

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We cannot overlook some astounding numbers on the day: Pete and Dave had good days with the bat (when Matt or Kurt were not pitching).

Dave: 16-for-17 off Glen, 3 2b, 2 3b, HR, 17 RBI off Glen. 2-for-6 off Kurt/Matt

Pete: 14-for-19 off Glen, 2 3b, 8 RBI. 1-for-5 off Kurt/Matt.

And obviously, these two both pitched well, too. 

Dave: 3 IP, 1 R, 2 hits, HR, 2 K.

Peter: 3 IP, 0 R, 5 hits, 2 K.

Glen, Kurt, Matt - 1

Peter, Dave - 25

W: Berwald

L: Cebulash

Careful examination of the scoresheet revealed that the final score was actually 25-1.

Mac

Just now available from Da Commish. Will be in the Wiff Cards Slideshow in about a day.

Statistics vs. Stories

Recommended for you is a recent blog post by Joe Posnanski, in which he sort of meanders around the question of whether statistics are killing the soul of sport.

Then We Played 2

All up and down the eastern seaboard, mayors are busy issuing evacuation orders, and pleading with residents to stay indoors and remain sheltered from Hurricane Irene. Baseball games in Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York were rained out. In Boston... they decided to play a double header.

"Ignore the emergency management professionals. Come gather, 30,000 strong, in an outdoor location and watch us pummel the lowly A's."

Not to be outdone, Commissioner Berwald decided we should play 2 wiffle games this weekend. And so 5 were met this morning, in even better weather than yesterday, for bat-and-ball pleasantries. And the outcome couldn't have been any more different than yesterday's 0-0 tie.

The visitors took the initial lead with a 2-out, 2-Brents-batted-in triple from Glen in the top of the first inning. In the second inning the Day of Brent would continue as he smashed his first homer of the season off Stats - a 2-run shot!  All told, Brent was killing it with the bat - 7-for-14, 2b, HR, 2 RBI. This line complemented well that of The (cycle-hitting) Artist (10-for-13, 3 2b, 3b, HR, 7 RBI), and resulted in their 9-run total on the day. Kurt, who apparently behaved last night as if he were not going to be playing wiffle the next morning, mustered only a 5-for-13 performance. Kurt seemed to be hitting comebackers to the mound all morning.

Kurt did hold up his end on the mound, though, facing the minimum through 2 innings, with 4 Ks (lowering his ERA to 1.74).  Brent and Glen.. not so much.

Offense in wiffle, like love, comes in spurts.  Brent was touched up for 13 runs in the bottom of the first - 8 coming after 2 were out. Da Commish and Stats managed four more runs off Prof. Cebulash in the third, again all four coming with 2 out, to complete their 17 run total. Brent had a good fourth inning, setting 'em down 1-2-3, including a Beltran for Peter. Glen did not have to pitch again. Commish and Stats put forth a pretty balanced attack overall; Peter (11-for-19, 3 2b, 3b) had 10 RBI, while Matt (11-for-18, 2 2b, 3b) had 7 RBI.

Truly, today there were enough runs for two games.

Brent, Glen, Kurt - 9
Peter, Matt - 17

W: Berwald
L: Mackintosh

9 large tally marks are still not more than 17

Dang! Another tie.

Taking note of the recent passing, apparently by suicide, of Oriole great Mike Flanagan, Matt did three things:

1. He wore the 1975 - 1988 Orioles cap:

These years spanned all of Flanny's great years with the Birds.

2. When he took the mound in the bottom of the second, he threw his first pitch left handed. Not a strike, but it did hit the wall on the fly.

3. He took it a step too far when he went ahead and batted like Mike Flanagan... for the whole game. In a major league career spanning 18 seasons, Mike Flanagan had all of 7 plate appearances - all coming in World Series play (talk about pressure). All told, he went 0-for-6 with one walk in his career with the bat. That was much better than Stats' time with the bat today.

In a two-on-two game like today, one slumping batter can kill a lineup, because of course, he's every other batter. On a day when Kurt went 5-for-11, including a triple and 2 doubles, Stats' 0-for11, 8K and grounding into a DP was a killer. Over and over again. Needless to say, they managed no runs off Dave (3 IP, 2H, 7K) or the Commish (3 IP, 3H, 4K).

On the other hand, they didn't surrender any runs either. Kurt faced 2 over the minimum in his three innings of work, striking out 6. It was Matt who pitched in trouble all day stranding 'em at first and second in the 2nd, first and third in the 4th, and leavin' 'em loaded in the 6th to secure the scoreless tie.

Sad scoreboard - but all set for next weekend!

Kurt, Matt - 0

Dave, Peter - 0

A good day for everyone's ERA, Dave and Kurt matched scoreless innings today and lowered their league leading ERA's to 1.50 and 1.81, respectively.

Han-Soo (0.533) was not in the lineup today, and Kurt fell a little further back in the batting race to 0.529. I'm afraid 5-for-11 just doesn't cut it at that altitude.

Stats are up to date!

Humble thanks to all wifflers for your patience. Games for July 28, July 31, August 13 and August 20 are now all included the stats tables for your perusal and enjoyment.

I know you are giddy, like me. It's why I feel such a bond with you all.

So, there are a couple of tight races in the "rate" stats that should be fun to keep an eye on down the stretch.  They will certainly be more entertaining than any of the major league division races this year.

Batting Title:
Both Han-Soo Ha and Kurt Mosser are blisteringly hot and the absolute minimum 0.001 separates their averages:

Ha - 0.533
Mosser - 0.532

ERA Crown:
Amongst players with more than one inning pitched (welcome back, Ben Montague!), Dave Eldridge and Kurt Mosser are the only two hurlers with ERAs under 2:

Eldridge - 1.67
Mosser - 1.94

Wow! What a game!

There is too much to be said about yesterday's gathering on the asphalt at Nance Bradds Field. There were Oakwood Safety officers, the Treasurer of the Oakwood City School District, a power-washing crew, and.. (are you sitting down?)... NANCE BRADDS HERSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am kicking myself now, trying to figure why we didn't stop the game to get a picture with the Smith Principal. Must have been because the game was so good.

Good for two reasons really:
1. There were nine of us. Nine is huge. Nine in this case includes Ben, back from Maine! And if anyone needed a reminder of how much fun the chatter gets when nine warped minds are acting all at once, here are two choice snippets:

"I think Stats is hungover."
"Too much chocolate milk, last night."
"He must have been dunking Oreos in that milk."

or

"This is a key, dramatic moment in the game. One of them is going to be the hero, the other is going to be the goat."
"Can't you get goat in a gyro?"

Well, maybe they were funnier live. I was still laughing at them the rest of the day even as I primed my kids' bedrooms for re-painting. Funny how they grow up and don't want their 5-year-old rooms anymore.

2. The game was good because it was filled with offense and drama. Stats pitched first and last for the Visitors, and really shouldn't have. Allowing a rocket home run to Dave (R) in the first inning and a soaring, arcing shot (think Gateway Arch) by Kurt in the bottom of the fifth. Kurt's had the additional flair of being a true Walk Off Home Run, so he had more to smile about than witty repartee for the rest of his day.

In between the Visitors did manage to dig out of a 4-0 hole by scratching out a four-spot off Brent. 2-RBI double (Peter) and a 2-RBI triple (Glen) did the damage after they and teammates Eric and Matt set a nice table. And they had Han-Soo on the ropes with bases loaded and none out, but he worked out of it.

Nice days with the bats were had by:
Kurt: 5 for 6, HR, 2 2B, 3 RBI
Dave: 3 for 5, HR, 2 RBI
Glen: 4 for 7. 3B, 2B, 2 RBI
Peter: 4 for 6, 2B, 2 RBI
Han-Soo: 5 for 6, 1 RBI
Brent: 3 for 6
Matt: 3 for 7, 2B

Eric, Glen, Matt, Pete - 4
Ben, Brent, Dave, Han-Soo, Kurt - 7

W: Mosser (gyro)
L: Lindsay (goat)