Zamonski's 50th Birthday Bash -- Saturday Sept 24th -- 6pm-???

Hey OWAC Wifflers, I'm throwing myself a 50th birthday bash on Saturday Sept 24th at 650 Creighton Ave 45410. My front yard has the first tree on the right.  Party's out back, walk through the fence gate on the right side of the house and follow the balloons and noise to the back yard. Show up anytime after 6pm and stay til you fall, disappear, or get arrested.  I'll be serving burgers and dogs off the grill plus sides, bring your own beverages and see you there!  

(Trapper John mustache rides sold separately)

When is a Fauxlami just a Fake Fauxlami?

OWAC welcomed back veteran wiffler Hansoo to the sunny confines of Nance Bradds Field today with a good ol' 4-on-4 Wily Oldsters vs Spry Youngsters matchup.  It turned out to be a relatively low-scoring affair with superb pitching on both sides.  Team Spry threatened all the way to the final out but in the end Team Old held off their rally to win it by two.  Today's Goat-Hero award goes to Andy "the Fence Factor" for having both the best and the worst fielding plays of the day, in nearly exactly the same spot right at the HR line, and both off Zach.  Mmm-mmm, that's some tasty symmetry!  

Rules Committee Note:  During today's Titanic Struggle, the following question arose (because it very nearly happened):  If a pitch bounces off the batter's body--elbow, shoulder, etc---and flies through the basketball hoop, should that be counted as a "fauxlami" grand slam?  Generally a pitch that hits the batter's body is automatically a dead ball so, by default, the answer would seem to be no.  That said there would be a certain poetic justice in going the other way with it and punishing the pitcher for his wild pitch by rewarding the hit batsman with a four-bagger.  Plus it honors the exceedingly rare weirdness of the ball-thru-the-hoop phenomenon, which after all is the whole point of the Fauxlami Rule to begin with.  In any case we should probably put it to a vote in the time-honored method:  we all meet at Tanks, get too drunk to think clearly and too rowdy to listen as Peter calls out the ayes and nays, and then something is "officially" decided with that decision being both forgotten and challenged for years to come.   

Brad, Tonya, Walker, Zach  -  12 hits, 3 runs

Andy, Eric, Hansoo, Peter  -  12 hits, 5 runs

Home Runs  -  Zach, Andy, Peter

Who ya gonna believe, me, or your own lyin' eyes?

It was a quiet, subdued little game today.  There were very fine people on both sides.  Some guys did some stuff.  And some of them, I assume, are good people.  But other'n that I can't really think of anything much to...oh wait:  I HIT A HOME RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A grander no less!  I know that I've hit home runs before at some point in my OWAC career but I honestly cannot remember the last one.  Teammate Andy thought he recalled being in the outfield once when I hit one at some point pre-COVID year.  So that means it's been at least three years.  Perhaps Matt can comb through the archives from the "dead(wiffle)ball era" and check.  At any rate I think I can confidently speak for nearly all of my secret government lab-created dopplegangers when I say that I'm just thankful I was here to witness myself doing it.  

Adrian, Peter, Walker, Zach ............. 4 hits, 0 runs

Andy, Brad, Eric, Mark ...................... 15 hits, 9 runs 

One Fairly Normal Game, One Very Strange Stat

It was a typically hot sunny August morning for today's matchup at Nance Bradds Field.  Nine hearty souls appeared and played, also a pretty average number.  The Visiting Vans ran it up 3-0 and held the lead for a few frames, but the Heralded Halens applied steady pressure and in late innings some timely power hitting from deep in the order to come back for a 7-3 win.  J D's four ribbies on a homer and a long triple was clearly today's MVP performance.  Nice game sir!   

Now again, a 7-3 final, not atypical.  BUT...looking at the scoresheet after the dust settled, one very strange thing emerged:  all nine players today got exactly two singles.  How statistically odd is that?  We'll have to check with Stats, but I'd bet my boots NBF has never seen that occur in a game with at least nine players.  Think about it:  there's usually that one guy who goes full Android Pete Rose mode and racks up like six of 'em (historically Pete, lately Adrian), and then there's also usually one other guy who for whatever reason that day couldn't buy a hit with a suitcase full of $20's (often yours truly, but at least *somebody*).   

National Weather Service Bulletin:  The presence of last week's chalk scoreboard still intact indicates unusually low rainfall totals between gamedays.  Therefore a lipbalm advisory is in effect until 2:00 PM Monday afternoon for Montgomery, Darke, and parts of Mercer County.   And parts of Adrian's mom. 

Andy, Brad, J D, Peter, Eric:  12 Hits, 7 Runs

Adrian, Jeff, Tom, Zach:  10 Hits, 3 Runs

HR:  J D, Zach

There's Someone In My Head, And It's Not Me

A gooey overcast July morning was the setting for this week's mound-adjacent psychological thriller at NBF.  Pitchers were outthinking hitters, hitters were outthinking themselves, and Zamonski's "rich inner life" was revealed to be a desolate lunar mindscape.  The Halens made a good run at a comeback in late innings but Andy's clutch salami remained the game-winning play when the final out was chiseled into the books.  

New Guy Alert:  OWAC welcomes new player Brad Thomas to the league.  (Btw I wonder how many players have homered in their debut games?  It can't be many, nice goin' Brad!)  

Andy, Eric, Peter  -  15 hits, 7 runs

Adrian, Mark, Zach, Brad  -  6 hits, 4 runs

People who did not hit HRs  -  Adrian, Eric

What's Better Than 8 RBI?

Nine RBI.

Strong Sun, Long Shadows

Inside the numbers of today's 14-8 slugfest is the fact that Jeff had 8 RBIs and that was second best on the day. Hansoo had 9.

Jeff had two homers, and that was second best on the day. Hansoo had 3.

But let us not forget the newest Wiffle Innovation - the Pop Up... TENT!! Jeff provided the very welcome artificial shade for this morning's seven wifflers. No question the shade boosted the offense, today.

Andy, Hansoo, Matt, Pete - 14 runs, 16 hits

JD, Jeff, Walker - 8 runs, 17 hits

HR: Hansoo 3 (3); Jeff 2 (3)

It's a Sign

 Signs are important in Baseball - and wiffle.

Wifflers are not known for following signs.

Wifflers are also not known for Pitching Duels, but that's what today's 3-1 game was. In fact the home team had a no hitter through 5 innings. Ultimately the no-no and the shut out were lost and the game won by Adrian, Jeff, Pete and Walker. The Visitors managed to limit the damage while scattering 15 hits, but could not prevent the go ahead 2-RBI double by da Commish.

There were circus catches for which words will not do justice - you had to be there. They involved tips and caps.

Hansoo, JD, Matt, Tom - 1 run, 7 hits

Adrian, Jeff, Pete, Walker - 3 runs, 15 hits

HR: none

Wiffle Walk

On a day that saw several season debuts, and Zach hit for the cycle in his first four ABs of the season, the 8-0 final score may seem an afterthought. In truth this was a tight 3-0 ballgame until late, and the pivotal moment came in the Bottom of the 7th inning.

With a precarious 3-0 lead, a runner on and Jeff at the plate, pitcher Matt (Stats) faced a critical juncture in his mound outing for the day. Bear in mind that in his first turn on the bump he struck out zero. All five hitters he faced put the ball in play - he was not missing bats. Not much swing and miss in his stuff anymore. Three were fly outs to sure-handed fielders and two were hits. One of those hits was a screaming double by Jeff that probably dented the brick over the doorway to Smith in right field.

Matt took a deep, calming, breath. And promptly hit the left backboard for an intentional walk. 

That's what they call Wiffle Savvy. Guile. It did bring the tying run to the plate, but as you already know from the first paragraph, the visitors allowed no runs on the day. So the gambit paid dividends and Andy, Matt, Zach and rookie Brad all got extra orange wedges and juice boxes, post-game. Juicy-Juice never tasted soooo sweeeet.

Jeff's walk was the fourth walk surrendered this season in just two games. So maybe this is the new shift?

Andy, Matt, Zach, Brad - 8 runs, 17 hits

Hansoo, Jeff, Jim, Pete, Tom - 0 runs, 7 hits, 2 walks

HR: Matt (1); Zach (1); Brad (1)