A Grand Day for Wiffle

When a game features not one, not two, but three DIFFERENT KINDS of Grand Slams - that's pretty much what the blog needs to be about. Wouldn't you agree?

So first, in the top of the third, there was Eric Zamonski's first homerun since 2017:

This was just the beginning. Photo credit: Berwald

Yes, it was THAT kind of Grand Slam, surrendered by Stats. This was the first lead off grand slam in RECORDED HUMAN HISTORY.

Jeff would later hit two granders - one off Mark and one off Matt (on to the left-field roof) - with ACTUAL runners on base, which accounted for all 8 of his RBI for the day. Teammate Zach never saw clear to surrender a grand slam of his own.

A run here, a run there, but the home team never really made it a game after the Hoop-la. 14-4 was your final.

Adrian, Eric, Jeff, Peter - 14 runs, 18 hits

Mark, Matt, Zach - 4 runs, 16 hits

HR: Zamonski (1); Rhodes 2 (23)

Ties Suck

A 13-13 tie is no way to end a ball game, but is was after 11, and the park was getting crowded on what may be the last, best, beautiful Saturday of the year.

This particular tie particularly sucks for J.D. and Matt. For J.D. because he took the mound in the top of the last inning with a 1 run lead and gave up that 13th run. For Matt because after two hits earlier in that inning he struck out with the bases loaded to end that inning, failing to plate a go-ahead 14th.

Adrian, Jeff, Matt - 13 runs, 24 hits
Eric, JD, Peter, Zach - 13 runs, 21 hits

HR: Jeff - 2 (21), Zach - 2 (14)

Depends on what you mean by "Good Day"

As the days get colder, the shadows longer, and the sun shines DIRECTLY IN THE BATTERS EYES off the windows an astute wiffler knows the season is winding down to a winter hibernation. With no championship on the line, what's left to play for is your stats. To be sure it's still good to win a game as well. But with every game now, you know in the back of your head this could be it for the season. Under these circumstances, what makes a good day on the asphalt? Well, it depends an what you mean by "good day." 

Two case studies: Mark and Dewey.

First, the Dewey. Dewey brought two new players, which is a good day. This is really Dewey's thing, ya know? He's the reason Zach is blasting homers and striking out batters in this league. Today Dewey brought his son-in-law Markiel and fireballer Bob B. Dewey got to play a full game of wiffle on a brisk, sunny fall day with his family and friends. It was a good day... until he surrendered 6 runs in the 8th inning to put his team in a 7-6 hole on the scoreboard. Dewey had a good day at the plate: 5-for-11 with a homer and 3 RBI... until he struck out to end the game with the winning runs aboard.

Mark also had a good day. At the plate: a very Dewey-like 5-for-11 with a Grand Slam and 4 RBI. The key figure in that line is the "eleven." I looked it up: eleven is less than fifteen, so you can trust me on this. Mark needed 15 ABs to qualify for the batting title, but he fell 4 short. 15-11=4. Mark's team won (which is good) basically because he hit that Grand Slam (off Dewey, btw, which is good). It was a good day. But if there are no more days this year, he will fall 4 ABs short of a batting title, and might make this seem like less of a good day.

So who had a good day and Nance Bradds Field today? Limit your answer to 750 words, and defend your argument using either mathematics or philosophy (but not both - that would be pretentious or prehensile).

Adrian, Mark, Matt, Pete - 7 runs, 18 hits
Bob B., Dewey, Markiel, Zach - 6 runs, 19 hits

HR: Darden (4); White (4)

Spank You For Your Service

Today the OWAC was proud to honor it's veteran members---by herding them all onto the same team and mercilessly shelling them.  The Civilian Contractors struck early and often, all behind Artillery Commander Jeff who had a gigantic day at the plate with five homers and a ridiculous 14 RBIs.  The Veteran Vans did mount a valiant hit parade in later innings by peppering The Commish with meatballs, but it was insufficient to overcome the longball onslaught and they ultimately succumbed in regulation.  Float like a butterfly, sting like gonorrhea.  

Kudos to Zack for batting for the cycle, and a collective group honor to everyone for setting what must be a new OWAC record of roofing FOUR balls on the day, including two in the first inning alone.   Looks like Commish'll be heading into Woolworth's this week for resupply and maybe a vanilla phosphate.  

Adjustment to the Tree Rule:  this morning the Office of Commissioner issued a rule change regarding fly balls that hit the tree.  From now on, a fielder may catch a ball off the tree for an out, assuming of course he has some part of at least one foot in fair territory as usual.  (ie, tree contact does not override the usual fielding rules which apply at the HR line.)

Adrian, Dewey, J. D., Mark  -  9

Eric, Jeff, Peter, Zack  -  21

HR  -  Jeff (5), Zack

Wifftober Perfection

Calm sunny skies made the welcoming confines of Nance Bradds feel ten degrees warmer than it was as six stalwarts matched wits & witticisms for a nicely-played postseason Fall Classic.  The Halens struck early to go up dos, and the Vamping Vans answered by doubling that up the next set.  But the Home Team Homies broke the piñata wide open in later innings with a parading onslaught of singles that even "special assistance" by a daydreaming Bandit forgetting to unshift was insuffish to overcome.  Final score 10 to 6.  

Jeff had the day's only triple and drew a walk, Zack had the only longball.  Adrian clinched this week's "Screw yer shift I'll hit it anywhere I damn well want" award with uncatchably confounding hits one centimeter inside each foul line.  Meanwhile Eric took his batting up to a whole new level (so ground floor I guess?) by going an uncanny 9-for-13.  

Adrian, Jeff, Pete  -  6
Matt, Zack, Bandito  -  10

HR  -  Zack

Bringing Balance to the Wiff

“You Must Feel The Wiffle Around You; Here, Between You, Me, The Tree, The Wall, Everywhere, Yes.”

A balanced offense: win games it will.

By pre-game agreement the six wifflers played a seven inning game today - also known as Cardinal Baseball. The home siding J.D., Matt and Pete bested the visiting Mark W., Adrian and Zach by a football score of 10-7. Remarkably, both teams scored 7 runs their half of the third inning, so the home team's three-run second proved to be the difference.

Another statistical oddity: the winners - who only batted for 6 innings - all went 6-for-12. As a group they accumulated 18 hits and made 18 outs. They pretty evenly divided the RBIs as well - JD and Pete each with 3, Matt with 4.

The visitors' attempt at balance fell a little short. Adrian and Mark both went 5-for-12, but Zach's 4-for-11 proved an imbalance in their Wiff. 

Balance wins - at least today.

Kid-Haters and Mexican Water-Drinkers

Just in case our aching shoulders and decrepit mobility wasn't enough to remind us all that we're not getting any younger, today the Great Eight who appeared were reminded of what ACTUAL youth and vigor looks like as Dewey's grandson Monroe marked his OWAC debut.  And acquitted himself quite nicely both ways, notching some hits for his team and some pretty decent put-outs too.  

As for the game itself, it was decidedly *not* a pitcher's duel, with both teams combining for 56 hits, longballs aplenty, and the reek of salami in the air.  Mark won the John Daly Longdrive trophy for an absolutely towering smash down the left field line that was likely the farthest-hit ball this season.  Dewey was the all-around gitter-doner champ tho with two homers and ELEVEN of his teams 20 ribeyes.  Their teammate Jeff was no slouch neither, going 10-for-15 with a ton of them being Jose Iglesias-style 2-strike heartbreakers.  

As for yours truly's Hapless Halens, we actually had more hits than the Victorious Vans, as well as two homers of our own.  But what really told the tale was the triples:  they had 4, we had none.  Plus they had two auto-triples in a row that hit the downspout in more or less precisely the same spot which clearly implies some sort of Divine Intervention.  Wuddya gonna do---they giveth, and they taketh away.  

Dewey, J D, Jeff, Monroe  -  20

Adrian, Mark, Peter, Zack, Eric  -  14

HR  -  Dewey(2), Mark, Peter

So that was weird

In a year and season when nothing is normal, even an idyllic 3-on-3 wiffle match can present the unexpected. To wit:

• That moment in the top of the first when Matt, the shortest member of the home team, leapt up and stole a line drive home run from Jeff.
• That moment in the bottom of the first when that same Matt hit a homer over Jeff's head in left. (1-0 home boys).
• That later moment when Matt had a home run taken away by Jeff who leapt over the home run line and tipped the ball back to Kurt who caught it.
• That moment when Adrian hit a foul off the backboard which was caught by the pitcher, Matt, for an out... with the bases loaded.
• That moment (which lasted a span of nine outs) when Zach and Eric mused about whether moving from zero to one was in fact "counting" or merely acknowledgement of the changing state from non-existence to existence.

None of those is made up. As they say, if you go to a ball game, you're bound to see something you've never seen before. Or five things.

There was serious talk (really only from Matt) of playing 2 seven inning games - just like they do in the bigs! - but at the end of seven, with Matt's team losing such talk died down and a single nine-inning affair was concluded.

It got no better for the home team however: trailing by one after seven, they eventually lost by four - 10-6.

Take note that the stats are now actually linked on the home page of the blog - and it's not even Labor Day, yet! Also note the very close stats between Jeff and Zach. The only edge for Jeff being due to his one BB (Intentional BB, that is, by Matt). Stats are fun.

This is a picture of a waterfall in Dayton. You may think of it as Zen.

That Tingly Sensation

It was a magnificent morning for Wiffleball at Nance Bradds Field where a Supple Six split up and did battle in an action-packer.  The one-sided final score didn't really reflect the impressive amount of pitches each team forced the other to throw, and nobody was safe on the mound, though everybody was pitching well.  Overall, a testament to the ever-rising quality of play.  (And probably slowly aging arms too, but you'll have that after fifteen seasons or so.)  

Mark went full StatCast™ "launch angle" with a towering blast of a solo HR that fell about 2' short of the warning track, with JD making the Adderall Smoothie Play Of The Game on a 2-hop skimmer right back at 'em that he somehow fielded like 6 inches after the second bad bounce.  Dewey in turn earned the Bjork Memorial Controversial POTG by, well, just being Dewey.  Deweys gotta Do!  Although he also threw more Ephus strikes than anybody should really be able to---which adds Tang and Flavor, not just heat.  

Dewey, Eric, JD  -  17 runs

Adrian, Mark, Peter  -  4 runs  

HR  -  Mark