Saturday, July 11, 2015

Just One Thing

Even while the Commish re-connects with his roots, The Wiffle and Ale League "plays" on

Through the miracle that is Facebook, the Commish rallied the wifflers from New England and five of 'em showed up on Saturday to play. But when one wakes up on the east coast, one cannot do the game-day duties required of a Commissioner.  And so we have this:

How sweet it is!
Stats was deputized to pull this game together and he took no time to park his hybrid in the Commissioner's spot. This car is not as cool as a Subaru. Lack of a cool car is the only thing preventing Stats' election as the next commissioner.

Stats has chairs, chalk and a long stick to draw the lines, a bat, and a scoresheet. What Stats lacked was (wiffle) balls.  Lack of balls is the one thing preventing Stats from being the next commissioner.

Stats chalked the strikezone and homeplate:


But, as you can see, he can't even draw a proper plate. That's the one thing keeping Stats from being the next commissioner.

Then Stats chalked the lines:

Third Base "line"

Double and Triple "lines"
But it turns out that Stats draws terrible lines. That's the one thing that stands between Stats and being the next commissioner.

Then, he placed the mound - a little back from the normal position - to juice the offense. And he drew the Mosser Line:

Oh, Good Grief!
These lines also sucked and the mound move was ineffective. Then, Stats picked the teams, and it turns out the only thing he is worse at than drawing lines, is picking teams. This is really the one thing that will ensure Matt will never be the next commissioner.

Andy hit for the cycle in a losing cause and everyone BUT Stats pitched effectively as the home boyz bested the visitorz 4-to-1. There were a lot of balls put in play, but a great many of them resulted in outs due to very good fielding.


Andy, Matt - 1 run, 10 hits
JD, Kurt, Mark - 4 runs, 14 hits

HR: Evans



4 comments:

  1. this is the most brilliant prose i have read since goethe.

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    3. It makes little sense to post an anonymous comment on which you admit to having read Goethe. It's kind of a giveaway.

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