Codicil - \ˈkä-də-sil\

1. A legal instrument or text made to modify, or clarify, an existing document or text.

Today's six-inning 9-4 win for the home team was punctuated by several discussions of the several rules of our great game. Many feel that simple rules (and stats) are best, but when you delve in a serious manner into the origins and implications of these things you see that what you think is simple is not. It never is.

Take modern stats. People dislike OPS (On base percentage Plus Slugging) because they say it isn't a rate stat that tells me the likelihood of any event for the next at bat. The preferred "Batting Average" is thought to be an easy concept: hits divided by times at bat. But really, that denominator is very complex: it's plate appearances not counting the ones where you get hit by a pitch, or sacrifice yourself to advance a runner, or walk, but it does count the at bats where you advance a runner by a fly ball or ground ball but you are put out, unless the runner happens to score on a fly ball. Got that?

Affirmed!

So, so what if we have a double play rule that requires there be at least one runner on, but a triple play rule that does not. And we're among friends, so we can have a rule that a foul ball can roll back fair provided it hasn't hit the batter or the wall (with this codicil: it must roll fair prior to reaching the first or third base bag). We know this.

Speaking of that, Tim was serving some codicils on a platter on his second go-round on the mound - to the tune of six late runs for the home team. Those six, plus three runs earlier were enough to overcome Kurt's latest mammoth blast onto the Smith School roof. That ball's never coming down. Glen and Matt turned crucial double plays to prevent big innings; Matt's coming in the top of the final inning when it looked quite possible that he'd give up the five run lead.

All in all: beautiful day; beautiful play.

Fred, Kurt, Tim - 4
Glen, Matt, Peter - 9

HR: Mosser

Saturday Guest Blogger: Eric Z

NOW THAT'S WIFFLEBALL, SON

In a titanic, interminable struggle that lasted just eight minutes shy of high noon, the victorious Vans edged out the hopeful Halens by a final score of 12 to 11. This one had it all, folks: heroics, trick plays, ignominy, redemption…and ultimately renal failure.

An early freight train beat-down of Jeremy’s sore pitching arm, including a rooftop salami by Kurt, put the headlong Halens up by eight and things were looking insurmountable. But mount they did, sir, as the voracious Vans then feasted upon the molasses of one Don Juan Terpstra for seven to make it anybody’s game. Then it was time for theatrics, with new-guy “Tex” Adrian gloving a deep scorcher to rob The Bandit of a probable long-ball, along with what remained of his dignity.

In the ignominy department, The Don figured he had this week’s Summer’s Eve Award neatly slotted when he somehow booted a slow-roller right to his mound that had so little velocity on it that if you immortalized the moment in marble, the statue of the ball would be moving faster. But not so fast, Don! For our beloved Boog would come out of nowhere to snatch away Don’s trophy by botching a hat scoop on a roller of his own so agonizingly slow that it would take liquid nitrogen and lasers to achieve a lower energy state.

A big factor in today’s tussle was the glaring, merciless sun that turned a number of routine fly balls into costly extra base hits. Further upping the run tally was an unusually high number of bases awarded by walk. Although in Jeremy’s defense, pitching around Kurt was probably wise what with the aroma of salami still faintly detectable from the direction of the Halen’s hottest bat.

And while he allowed no runs on the day, Kurt’s pitching, fast and tricky as it was, actually yielded an improbable trifecta of smash singles to the full Van lineup in late innings. Krash then immediately returned to his task of spraying the vapid Vans with unhittable BB’s, including one absolute photon of a pitch to this writer that careful post-analysis of the game film indicates may have somehow actually nicked the ground before breaking straight up and catching the outer-most femtometer of corner chalk. If Maddux and Mata Hari had a kid, and that kid pitched, he’d pitch like that.

Adding to all the game-related mayhem was the presence of a constant stream of neighborhood civilian park-users. Kids on bikes, moms walking dogs, tween boys with errant basketballs, and some dude wheeling a cooler apparently containing a liquid so toxic that he wouldn't even describe it for us. Luckily, Commish's professional crowd control skills sprung into action, and he authoritatively called time so gaggles of girls could cross the field and all other manner of public relations got handled smoothly.

But in a day with more than its share of memorable plays, the one for the books had to be Terpstra’s unconscious, reflexive swing which connected with Jeremy’s double play toss, thereby making The Don arguably the first player in league history to score two hits in the same at bat. Now THAT’S wiffleball, my friends!!

Rain and Cold

It's too bad someone as un-creative as a wiffle statistician writes these blog posts, especially considering how much creative energy there is in this group.

To think how much pleasure readers around the globe would receive reading the weekly installment on This Week In Whiff, if only there were talent pressing the keyboard buttons.

There would be epic poems about extruded plastic bat makers; there would be long screeds about sporting culture and Oakwood tradition - but they wouldn't feel long. No, indeed you'd wish there was more, and you'd cry yourself to sleep waiting for the next blog post. There would by soaring prose about heroic pitcher-batter confrontations, and allusions to the golden years of Hollywood and Madison Avenue. The pieces would analogize to the greats of baseball in a way that would proffer understanding to the reader, but by no means conjure any sense of disproportion.  In short, it would be the best wiffle blog in the world.

Instead, we get game stories.  And today's game sucked - because it rained and it was cold and then it got windy, too.  But when you actually have six players, you really have to play. No matter what. I guess we should be happy that the sun came out for the parade and all, but I'm not. I'm selfish, and I would rather have played in better weather.  I can't be happy for others while I'm busy wallowing in MY self-pity.

There was the first ever attempted Triple Play - by Matt.  This was done with a runner on third, so it was perhaps not the wisest decision.  That runner scored - but would have anyway on the subsequent home run by Kevin. Kevin and Kurt both hit for the cycle. The stats are updated, blah, blah, blah.

Brent, Kevin, Kurt - 6
Eric, Matt, Peter - 2

HR: Mosser, Campbell

Wiffle Victory Selfie Party!!

Another football score for a final today as Commish and Stats defeated Krash and the Artist (yes, THAT artist!) by a 14-10 tally.

Lotsa hitting, lotsa runs allowed (except Kurt who retired all nine batters he faced, eight by strike out). Stats hit for the cycle. Peter drove in 10. The stats are current as of May 11, 2014.

There was much snapping of camera phone pictures after the final out.

Glen: Post Game Picture

Bad Selfie

  

Good Selfie

Morning, Theory!

Lack of players resulted in a Tank's breakfast theory. Life is good if you're a wiffler.

Here for your information are a sample of the topics discussed at breakfast this morning. See if you can spot the one we did not actually talk about.

• Canadian Rock-Paper-Scissors champions
• May 4, 1919 blah blah blah
• Whether it is appropriate to judge Fleetwood Mac on anything less then their complete canon
• Descartes
• Art Deco busts
• Attack of the Clones: The Musical
• Measures of evolutionary success: Progeny vs. Progeny's progeny
• Pi
• How to "grip a change up"
• Whitewater rafting-appropriate travel coffee mugs
• Washington Wizards
• "Pi over 2"
• Bum shoulders
• Star Wars Day
• Decaf coffee
• The dependent co-development of the dictionary and the thesaurus: English contrasted with the French.
• Merits of higher education
• Spoons
• Lawyer jokes with reference to Accountant jokes
• Magellanic clouds
• Chris Anderson
• The amazing lack of habitat diversity in planets depicted in the Star Wars movies
• Why servers keep thinking Stats and Bandit are brothers
• "Vive La Resistance Bands"

Someday, we should play wiffle again. That was fun.