A hot August day began with a warm morning and seven wifflers at Nance Bradds. The game was no disappointment to those seven, nor the four spectators. Indeed the home-boys came back not once, not twice but three times to finally nail down this 8-7 win.
Of course to come back three times, a team must surrender the lead three times, and they did that, too. The Artist gave up at least a run each of the three times he pitched, including a three-run fourth inning. The Visitors rode Glen's underarm offerings to break ties at 0-0, 3-3 and 6-6.
But they could not hold their 3-0, 6-3 or 7-6 leads. Ben coughed up three-run innings in the second and sixth. After the sixth the score was knotted at six. Then came the Artist for his third trip to the mound (see above).
But after Glen surrendered the 6-6 tie in the top of the seventh, giving the Visitors a 7-6 lead, Professor Mosser and Stats set in motion a very elaborate ruse. Here's how it went:
- Kurt took the mound for the bottom of the seventh, and as he walked to the outfield Matt announced very loudly, "This is it - bottom of the last inning! If they don't score, it's over."
- Kurt retires the home team, giving up just a single and no runs. Visitors walk off the field and commence the post-game hand shakes.
- Home team is a bit puzzled and ask if game must be over.
- Matt responds, "Well, we've all pitched twice, and you all have pitched at least two times..."
- Home teams says they have time for one more inning. Visitors demur, and agree to one more inning.
- Da Commish pitches a scoreless top of the 8th.
- Kurt re-takes the mound to pitch the bottom of the 8th - Home team says it can't be Kurt's turn.
- Kurt puts on his best chagrined smile and tosses the ball to Matt, who commences his warm up tosses.
- Home team cries foul. Demands that Jeremy pitch.
- Matt insists we have all pitched twice.
- Da Commish checks the scoresheet. (Damn!) Confirms it is Jeremy's turn to pitch.
Jeremy didn't retire a batter, allowing 5 straight hits and two runs. Walk off.
Jeremy, Kurt, Matt, Ben - 7 runs, 20 hits
Dave, Glen, Pete - 8 runs, 22 hits
W: Berwald
L: Long
BS: Long (the full Papelbon)
HR: Eldridge, Berwald
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| Final Score was 8-7. The Home Team over zealously chalked runs from their walk off hit. |
Posts
it is suggested that stats read this aloud, without an english accent (or unreasonable facsimile thereof).
ReplyDeletewhat kind of pitch is that?
ReplyDeletei'll tell you what kind.....the manliest pitch of all. i saw the artist throwing this pitch as a result of his near career-ending injury. did he quit? no! he developed this pitch so he could stay in the game. it's nothing less than heroic. i, for one, salute his grit, his fortitude and his grim determination to play at all costs.
No, no. It goes with the story, with perhaps too much subtlety. The "pitch" was the "ruse". It was a deceptive pitch. Get it? It's literary.
ReplyDeleteNever mind.
stats apparently isn't the only one all about self-promotion.
ReplyDeleteExit mound left.
ReplyDeletei agree with kurt. wiffle ball is far too important for all these anonymous comments dedicated to self-promotion. all these show-boating players are despoiling the spirit of the game!
ReplyDeleteself-referentialists are unanimous in applauding one who promotes himself via denigrating self-promotion.
ReplyDeletelisten man, leave death to the professionals.
ReplyDelete