The Dead Shrew Game

Four whifflers gathered for Sunday whiffle.  While these are the four workhorses of Oakwood Whiffle and Ale (they represent the top four in ABs this season), they are more appropriately thought of as the...

Four Horsemen of the Whiffocalypse

Conquest
Kurt Mosser figured the role of "Conquest" today.  Entering the game with a league leading 0.445 batting average, Kurt had his foot on the throat of the league.  He pushed that boot through to the trachea with his 9-for-17 hitting (six off Peter Berwald, if I may), raising his average to 0.451.  His three perfect innings on the mound, included five K's (all by Peter Berwald, I might add) earned him the win in a back-and-forth, tight game.

War
For battling all morning long, and delivering the walk-off RBI single, Glen Cebulash was the personification of War.  Glen had his own wonderful day at the plate, going 8-for-17 with 2 RBI, evenly dividing the hits and the RBI off Matt and Peter.  His final hit, in the bottom of the 6th, delivered the game winner.  Look for Glen's self-satisfied gait and smile 'Round Town for the rest of the week.

Glen had to battle with guile and smug wisecracks to survive his three innings on the mound.  And survive he did.  Stats and da Commish totaled 10 hits between them - all off Glen.  Twice Peter and Matt loaded the bases with none out and yet were only able to plate two runs.  Glen gave up another run in a third inning two-out rally featuring back to back doubles by Matt (coming after Matt's sorry-ass temper tantrum in the batter's box) and Peter.

Famine
This game came the day after Yom Kippur, a day when Jews forgo their many traditions surrounding food, and fast.  That is they don't eat at all.  For a day.  Matt, who is not Jewish, but does participate in his children's Jewish upbringing fasted from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday (or thereabouts) and is thereby playing the role of Famine in this allegory.  Matt did not expect to play well having forgone sustenance for 24 of the previous 36 hours before play began.  But as it turned out, he started off well, with 2 hits off Glen in the top of the first, and pitching scoreless bottoms of the first and third.  But truly, he ran out of gas later:  all of his strikeouts (as a batter) came in the fifth inning or later.  And on the mound in the fifth, with jelly legs and a tired arm - he surrendered two runs - the second to tie the score - and barely emerged without further damage, raising his ERA back above 4.

Yet, you might say, "Did not Glen Cebulash, learned be he in Torah, also fast on the Day of Attonement?"  Indeed he did, and he is no doubt employing a selective memory, looking solely at his batting results and thinking that he should fast before every game.  But the lineup he faced included a man who fasted!! And he barely escaped in ALL THREE INNINGS HE PITCHED.  If he faced two batters on full strength, this game is 14-4 for the Visitors.  I'm sure of it.

Death
We are left with one whiffler, Peter and one horseman, Death.  Though Peter was just returning from a funeral, he actually takes this moniker for taking the loss in the game - surrendering the Artist's walk-off single in the 6th - in his third inning of work.  He danced with trouble all day on the mound.  They loaded the bases on him in the 2nd, scored a run in the 4th, and they scored the game winner in the 6th.  His fine day at the plate mustn't be overlooked however:  5-for-14, 2 doubles and 3 RBI.

Matt Peter - 3
Glen Kurt - 4

W: Kurt Mosser
L: Peter Berwald
BS: Matt Lindsay

Notes:

• Though using only a two man lineup, the home team managed to bat out of order in the third.  Truly a first to be recorded in the annals of the Oakwood Whiffle and Ale League.  I'll spare you the details, but let's just say that the home team players are not gifted with scorekeeping skills.
• The 2-on-2 game was played with 3 out innings - though often to save arms it is played with two-out innings.  As it turns out, all seven runs were scored with 2 outs, and therefore under those rules this would have ended a 0-0 tie.
• Kurt Mosser is the second 100-100 Man!  103 hits as a batter, 112 K's as a pitcher after today's play, joining Peter Berwald in the category.
• There was a dead mole shrew (not a vole) on the asphalt this morning.  No ground rules were established in the event a batted ball were to strike the remains (it was right on the doubles line).  None were needed as no hits came near the former rodent.  Peter added an excellent caricature of the dead mole  shrew on the scoresheet.
• Glen was so pleased with the final outcome of the contest that he decorated the score tally board, see below.  Note the Rubenesque perfection of that heart - and to create that after having fasted just the day before!

Glen loves walkoffs.