Channeling Bernard Malamud

We have another Sunday morning game after a soggy Saturday that rained out play at Fairmont. While no rain was falling, the Smith Park grounds were riddled with puddles, and damp where there was no standing water. Conditions were less than ideal, but it was dry enough to chalk the lines on the asphalt. Three whifflers met at nine: Ben, Stats, and the Commish.  So once again it would be 1 on 1 on 1.

The early rounds went to da Commish as he followed a lead-off triple with a prodigious 2-run home run off Ben. Ben would find sweet revenge though, peppering five straight hits off Stats (4 singles, then a double) to plate three, exploding Lindsay’s heretofore unblemished ERA.

Like the roiling sky above, all was gloomy for Stats. Completely shut down by Peter in two rounds, he came to the plate to face Ben. Stepping into the batter’s box (long since washed away by Peter’s incessant “digging in”), Stats brought Ben’s wind-up into focus. But what did he happen to see just over Ben’s right shoulder.. just beyond the chain link fence.. standing there on Aberdeen Avenue? Could that be? It was. The former Karen Ruth Lavy – Stats’ bride of 16 years!

And as she befigured a modern Iris Gaines, the effect was felt by all in three consecutive at bats. Single! Home Run! HOME RUN!

Da Commish would hit one more “big fly,” this one off Stats, and the final would be an unsatisfying 3 to 3 to 3. And as the precedent had been set, the “stats” (if you can call what you get from this glorified batting practice “statistical”) do count. Thus only five remain with ERAs of zero. All who played today saw their batting averages inflated, RBI totals padded. But for one, it was a day of Whiffle Magic.

Game of April 25, 2010

As with the other game, Sunday Whiffle is a practice fraught with a controversial history.  The decision to play on Sunday lies heavy on the head of the Commish, as the available players are greatly diminished.  Saturday's wash out left him no choice, since having no game at all is unacceptable to "the League."

But as it was a Sunday game, the player numbers were considerably down.  After 4 straight weeks with 10 (yes, ten!) players, the Commish, the Artist, and Stats were the complete company this morning.  To put on any kind of a show, we would need to play multiple parts. "We must play 1 on 1 on 1," spoke our leader. 

The Commish explained the special rules for 1-1-1 Whiffle:
1.  Pitchers need only record 2 outs before sides are changed.
2.  Players not pitching or batting shall play outfield.
3.  Outfielders must try.

The Artist devised a complicated system to make sure all batters faced all pitchers the same number of times, and we were off to the races.

Now, this 1-1-1 Whiffle game seems to be set up as the Arena Football of whiffle - fast pace, high scoring, pyrotechnics and cheerleaders, right?  Well, the Commish's latest effort to crank up the offense once again fell a little short, as only six runs were plated:

This is truly becoming a pitchers' league.  Of note amongst the scoring is the addition of Glen Cebulash to this season's roster of home run hitters: a solo shot off the Commish to lead off the second.  All of the other runs were charged to The Artist, whilst he LOWERED his ERA to 16.50.  All players today raised their slugging percentages, and only one saw his ERA rise.  Stats took the league lead in RBI; the Commish now leads the league in K's (as a pitcher).

The late innings appearance of Laura Hume provided the players a permanent scorer and pleasant, if distracting, conversation.  Departing the pitch all agreed that more (players) is better.  See you Saturday?

Game of April 17, 2010

The absence of the Artist was felt by all this week. You see, Glen brings not only a resilient positive attitude and a tremendous NY/NJ accent: Glen usually draws the lines on the pavement. This week the Commish himself drew the lines.

As you may know recent “off the field” (but still on the pavement) scandals have brought the Whiffle and Ale League undesired press coverage. The Commish, looking to distract the fans from these matters, decided to crank up the offense. Mr. Commish made the friendly confines of Nance Bradds Park even friendlier by pulling in the doubles line by approximately 4 to 5 feet.

The game commenced with no notice of the forgiving arrangement. The first realization came from Stats Lindsay’s RBI double in the first off Baker. It was at this point that Ben revealed that he is a keen study of our league stats (NOW UPDATED THROUGH 4/17/10). You see, Ben knew (by poring through the data) that Stats had NEVER before struck an extra base hit, and that this moment just “felt wrong.” Indeed, all agreed that had the field been a Cebulash original – Stat’s hit would have been a single.

Alas, the Commish’s juicing of the field did not result in too great an offensive explosion:
HOME (Brent, Hans, Kim, Stats, Commish) 6
VISITOR (Tim, Laura, Dave (R-OH), Ben, Eric) 2

The Visiting runs were courtesy of a 2 run, opposite field blast by Tim “Home Run” Baker – who has hit or pitched both round trippers hit this season.

TWIW Notes:

New guy: a hearty welcome to Seokhyun (“call me Kim”) Kim – a 2 for 6, 3 RBI debut!

Inside the Stats: In a Goliath v. Goliath match up we had top batter “Home Run” Baker in the box against leading Cy Young candidate Hans Ha. Tim was 1 for 2 (a single) against Hans today, and is 1 for 3 for the season against the fireballer.