Channeling Bernard Malamud

We have another Sunday morning game after a soggy Saturday that rained out play at Fairmont. While no rain was falling, the Smith Park grounds were riddled with puddles, and damp where there was no standing water. Conditions were less than ideal, but it was dry enough to chalk the lines on the asphalt. Three whifflers met at nine: Ben, Stats, and the Commish.  So once again it would be 1 on 1 on 1.

The early rounds went to da Commish as he followed a lead-off triple with a prodigious 2-run home run off Ben. Ben would find sweet revenge though, peppering five straight hits off Stats (4 singles, then a double) to plate three, exploding Lindsay’s heretofore unblemished ERA.

Like the roiling sky above, all was gloomy for Stats. Completely shut down by Peter in two rounds, he came to the plate to face Ben. Stepping into the batter’s box (long since washed away by Peter’s incessant “digging in”), Stats brought Ben’s wind-up into focus. But what did he happen to see just over Ben’s right shoulder.. just beyond the chain link fence.. standing there on Aberdeen Avenue? Could that be? It was. The former Karen Ruth Lavy – Stats’ bride of 16 years!

And as she befigured a modern Iris Gaines, the effect was felt by all in three consecutive at bats. Single! Home Run! HOME RUN!

Da Commish would hit one more “big fly,” this one off Stats, and the final would be an unsatisfying 3 to 3 to 3. And as the precedent had been set, the “stats” (if you can call what you get from this glorified batting practice “statistical”) do count. Thus only five remain with ERAs of zero. All who played today saw their batting averages inflated, RBI totals padded. But for one, it was a day of Whiffle Magic.

Game of April 25, 2010

As with the other game, Sunday Whiffle is a practice fraught with a controversial history.  The decision to play on Sunday lies heavy on the head of the Commish, as the available players are greatly diminished.  Saturday's wash out left him no choice, since having no game at all is unacceptable to "the League."

But as it was a Sunday game, the player numbers were considerably down.  After 4 straight weeks with 10 (yes, ten!) players, the Commish, the Artist, and Stats were the complete company this morning.  To put on any kind of a show, we would need to play multiple parts. "We must play 1 on 1 on 1," spoke our leader. 

The Commish explained the special rules for 1-1-1 Whiffle:
1.  Pitchers need only record 2 outs before sides are changed.
2.  Players not pitching or batting shall play outfield.
3.  Outfielders must try.

The Artist devised a complicated system to make sure all batters faced all pitchers the same number of times, and we were off to the races.

Now, this 1-1-1 Whiffle game seems to be set up as the Arena Football of whiffle - fast pace, high scoring, pyrotechnics and cheerleaders, right?  Well, the Commish's latest effort to crank up the offense once again fell a little short, as only six runs were plated:

This is truly becoming a pitchers' league.  Of note amongst the scoring is the addition of Glen Cebulash to this season's roster of home run hitters: a solo shot off the Commish to lead off the second.  All of the other runs were charged to The Artist, whilst he LOWERED his ERA to 16.50.  All players today raised their slugging percentages, and only one saw his ERA rise.  Stats took the league lead in RBI; the Commish now leads the league in K's (as a pitcher).

The late innings appearance of Laura Hume provided the players a permanent scorer and pleasant, if distracting, conversation.  Departing the pitch all agreed that more (players) is better.  See you Saturday?