Spring Training Wiffle

Where we're all in the best shape of our careers.

Pitchers and catchers reported to Nance Bradds Field for the start of another year of OW&AC Wiffle Ball. Andy, Hansoo, Matt and Peter were the stalwarts who reported to camp on time. Everyone else owes us a shandy.

Stats sporting the official Spring Training Cap of the OW&AC (Photo: Hansoo)

The intra-squad game was actually a good one. A 4-2 final that saw the visiting Hansoo and Peter come from behind late to win it in 6 full innings. But this is just Grapefruit Ball at this point. We're all just working on some stuff, finding the release point, hoping to contribute to the big club.

Peter swings and misses. Later, when it mattered, he drove in his team's final run. (Photo: Hansoo)

Hansoo, Peter - 4 runs, 18 hits
Andy, Matt - 2 runs, 10 hits

HR - None

Run-ruled Times Two

With Esther in the hands of the batters, the OW&AC had to invoke the 10-run rule today. Twice.

Yup.

Two different pitchers gave up 10 or more runs before finding a third out in their innings. Matt gave up 11 in the first, and Dewey gave up 10 in the sixth. This wouldn't necessarily be a problem, except that Matt and Dewey were teammates. The result is lopsided.

Andy, Bob, Peter - 22 runs, 31 hits
Dewey, Hansoo, Matt - 7 runs, 16 hits.

HR: Evans (3), Berwald, Ha (2)

Esther: Wiffle Temptress

The siren song cannot be resisted. "Come to the asphalt; join in the bat-and-ball play! Use the loaded, black bat; your hits will soar majestically. Forever."

Everyone sees the black bat in their hands.They see their score line brimming with triples and homers. No one ever thinks about pitching when they think about Esther. When she sings, men stop thinking.

So it was today when the black bat emerged from the Subaru. Brains: switched off. To wit: Eric voted "yes" on the black bat and then used the yellow bat anyway. Indeed he was for it before he was against it.

But no one was more bitterly scorned by the Temptress than Tim Young'un. His hearty lefty swings produced a tremendous sky ball... that landed in Eric's outstretched fingertips - stealing a three run dinger. Later a vicious line drive... was tipped up by pitcher Pete and then caught by Pete himself, reminiscent of his volleyball glory days.

And get this: Andy led off all nine innings for his team. A unique feat - but not a good one.

Andy, Matt, Tim - 3 runs, 9 hits
Bob, Eric, Mark, Peter - 8 runs, 19 hits

HR: Berwald (2)

12!

Andy brought the wedding party: Groom, Best Man and 2 Groomsmen. On top of that, 8 other wifflers showed up. That's a record, gents. Put it in the books: 12 for a game! Six on six, my friends. A record.

It is entirely possible that the Groomsmen had a late night last night.

Groomsmen (Adrian, Andy, Brian, Jeff, Tim Y., Tim B.) - 1 run, 8 hits
Bridesmaids (Bob, Dewey, Hansoo, JD, Matt, Peter) - 11 runs, 31 hits

HR: Darden (5)

Mark was the offense - for both teams

Credit where credit is due: the title of this post was said by Mark's teammate, Kurt. Mark did have quite a day, leading off seven different innings with singles, raising his average to 0.470. Quite amazing to see, actually. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.

I am interested to hear your thoughts on whether it is worth noting that Mark lead off seven innings because Kurt was so frequently making the last outs. Kurt's early RBI double looked to be a game winner on his otherwise 2-for-10 day. But...

In a game that saw many half innings end with the bases loaded, Mark did not get out of his bases loaded jam in the bottom of the 8th, and surrendered 6 runs in an inning he started with a 1-0 lead.

Adrian, Hansoo, Kurt, Mark - 2 runs, 16 hits
Andy, Matt, Pete, Eric - 6 runs, 15 hits.

HR: none

Dog Dreams

Can you imagine how awful it would be if dogs could talk? Ugh.

Every morning your dog would wake up and tell you about its dreams. "There was a cat. I barked at it. I barked at it. I barked at it. I barked at a cat. Then I woke up." *

It would be torturous.

It would be like some nerd typing in some godforsaken corner of the internet, describing a game of wiffle ball that you didn't even play in. I mean, who would read that?

Adrian, Greg, Kurt, Matt, Tim - 1 run, 12 hits

Bob, JD, Kevin, Mark, Peter - 19 runs, 29 hits

HR: none

* It is possible that if dog brains were sophisticated enough for speech, that they would have more complex dreams. But, I doubt it.

Rarely used bat; rarely used rule

Pete brought out the black bat this week. Since Kurt (who opposes use of the black bat) wasn't here, this would be an opportunity for everyone to move ahead of him on the stats as we knocked the crap out of the ball wielding the juiced lumber.

Kurt's wiffle twin, Eric Zamonski, is also a purist and eschewed the "Hammer of Thor" for the traditional yellow. His was the only batting average that went down today.*

Along the way there were two dingers, and Adrian put one on the roof**. Seven enhanced innings later, the home team came back late and managed to hold on for a 6-5 win.

Bob, Matt, Eric - 5 runs, 18 hits
Adrian, Andy, Peter - 6 runs, 13 hits

HR: Lindsay, Berwald

* Actually, Andy's BA went down, too, but I don't let facts interfere when the prose is flowing.
** Adrian put the ball on the roof BEHIND the batter, and was emphatically OUT.