Tradition

Baseball has many holiday traditions: green caps in March, pink and blue bats in May and June, Fourth of July caps, Disco Demolition just to name a few. Because, as we know, OW&AC is just like baseball we have traditions, too.

For instance, the Commissioner uses a different color of chalk each week. Festive!!

And in those special years in which the Saturday before Easter falls during Passover, wifflers (and their fans!) get a special treat. 

WE GET TO DYE THE WIFFLE BALLS!!!!!

So today the Commish (did you know? He also teaches ART) set up a wiffle ball craft table in the visitor dugout (right behind the hand-operated scoreboard). There were lots of pretty colors and glitter glue.

When in a safe space like Nance Bradds Field, and given the time and care, wifflers can really show their empathic and introspective selves through their art. To wit...

So pretty!!

And note how skillfully they made those wiffle holes appear round. The Commish can teach anything. Actually, the photo really doesn't do them justice.

It was really a lot of fun, and a nice diversion from the rigors of what has been a long wiffle season. There was only one fight, when Andy didn't want to share the purple dye. 

Well, anyway, when all the arts and crafts were cleaned up, everyone's hands were dyed and sticky and no one wanted to play wiffle. People were heading back to their cars and honeydo lists. 

But the the Commish took off his Artsy Beret and put on his Commissioner Helmet and insisted we play wiffle. So we did.

Adrian, Hansoo, Jeff, Matt - 0 runs, 7 hits

Andy, Isaac, Peter, Walker - 8 runs, 15 hits

HR: Evans (1), Bokros (1)

The wind giveth, and the wind taketh away

Opening Day is an all-around feel good day. Everyone is in the best shape of their lives. A whole season of possibilities (all of them good) lay ahead. The wiffle balls are shiny and new.

No less than 12 wifflers answered the irresistible siren call of the season opener. And as Zach let fly the first pitch in anger under a sunny, breezy sky, all the elements of nature were in perfect balance and all was seen to be good.

Except there were no donuts. How the #^@% are we supposed to have OPENING FRICKIN' DAY without donuts?!?!? Pageantry and nostalgia.. for naught.

Until J.D. solved this problem by running to Ashley's in the top of the second and got a box of carb-o-liscious pastry. Today's MVP: J.D.

Oh, there was a game, too. Home-standers took this one 4-1. Wind-blown blast of the day came off the childish red bat as swung by Walker, making the most of a pitch by Matt. That three-run blast was the margin of victory.

There were other wind aided hits as the ball danced away from the outfielders' hands. Also, dibbled foul balls were blown back fair for outs.

The stats page got a great start to the season as 12 gentlemen posted ABs. Check them out all season for the link here at the blog.

Adrian, Andy, Isaac, Hansoo, Matt, Peter - 1 run, 12 hits

Eric, JD, Jeff, Tom, Walker, Zach - 4 runs, 16 hits

HR: Berwald the Younger (1)

Spring Stats Don't Count

The OW&AC had its first and last Grapefruit League game today - a slugfest that ended in a 0-0 tie, called after 6 innings. It was warm (enough) in the sun. The stats - note that everyone's ERA stands at 0.00 - do not count.

If they did count Matt would be leading the League with a .667 average (6-for-9), a sweet .777 slugging, and a slash line of .667/.667/1.444. Those are, by the way, MVP-type numbers.

But spring stats do not count.

Peter's .444 average, and Adrian's .400 would round off the top three hitters in the league - but spring stats do not count.

So come out to Wiffle Opening Day next week when Matt is sure to go 0-for-the-day and strike out 5 times.

Adrian, Jeff, Peter - 0 runs, 10 hits

Matt, Walker, Zach - 0 runs, 8 hits

HR: Spring Stats Don't Count

Zamonski's 50th Birthday Bash -- Saturday Sept 24th -- 6pm-???

Hey OWAC Wifflers, I'm throwing myself a 50th birthday bash on Saturday Sept 24th at 650 Creighton Ave 45410. My front yard has the first tree on the right.  Party's out back, walk through the fence gate on the right side of the house and follow the balloons and noise to the back yard. Show up anytime after 6pm and stay til you fall, disappear, or get arrested.  I'll be serving burgers and dogs off the grill plus sides, bring your own beverages and see you there!  

(Trapper John mustache rides sold separately)

When is a Fauxlami just a Fake Fauxlami?

OWAC welcomed back veteran wiffler Hansoo to the sunny confines of Nance Bradds Field today with a good ol' 4-on-4 Wily Oldsters vs Spry Youngsters matchup.  It turned out to be a relatively low-scoring affair with superb pitching on both sides.  Team Spry threatened all the way to the final out but in the end Team Old held off their rally to win it by two.  Today's Goat-Hero award goes to Andy "the Fence Factor" for having both the best and the worst fielding plays of the day, in nearly exactly the same spot right at the HR line, and both off Zach.  Mmm-mmm, that's some tasty symmetry!  

Rules Committee Note:  During today's Titanic Struggle, the following question arose (because it very nearly happened):  If a pitch bounces off the batter's body--elbow, shoulder, etc---and flies through the basketball hoop, should that be counted as a "fauxlami" grand slam?  Generally a pitch that hits the batter's body is automatically a dead ball so, by default, the answer would seem to be no.  That said there would be a certain poetic justice in going the other way with it and punishing the pitcher for his wild pitch by rewarding the hit batsman with a four-bagger.  Plus it honors the exceedingly rare weirdness of the ball-thru-the-hoop phenomenon, which after all is the whole point of the Fauxlami Rule to begin with.  In any case we should probably put it to a vote in the time-honored method:  we all meet at Tanks, get too drunk to think clearly and too rowdy to listen as Peter calls out the ayes and nays, and then something is "officially" decided with that decision being both forgotten and challenged for years to come.   

Brad, Tonya, Walker, Zach  -  12 hits, 3 runs

Andy, Eric, Hansoo, Peter  -  12 hits, 5 runs

Home Runs  -  Zach, Andy, Peter

Who ya gonna believe, me, or your own lyin' eyes?

It was a quiet, subdued little game today.  There were very fine people on both sides.  Some guys did some stuff.  And some of them, I assume, are good people.  But other'n that I can't really think of anything much to...oh wait:  I HIT A HOME RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A grander no less!  I know that I've hit home runs before at some point in my OWAC career but I honestly cannot remember the last one.  Teammate Andy thought he recalled being in the outfield once when I hit one at some point pre-COVID year.  So that means it's been at least three years.  Perhaps Matt can comb through the archives from the "dead(wiffle)ball era" and check.  At any rate I think I can confidently speak for nearly all of my secret government lab-created dopplegangers when I say that I'm just thankful I was here to witness myself doing it.  

Adrian, Peter, Walker, Zach ............. 4 hits, 0 runs

Andy, Brad, Eric, Mark ...................... 15 hits, 9 runs 

One Fairly Normal Game, One Very Strange Stat

It was a typically hot sunny August morning for today's matchup at Nance Bradds Field.  Nine hearty souls appeared and played, also a pretty average number.  The Visiting Vans ran it up 3-0 and held the lead for a few frames, but the Heralded Halens applied steady pressure and in late innings some timely power hitting from deep in the order to come back for a 7-3 win.  J D's four ribbies on a homer and a long triple was clearly today's MVP performance.  Nice game sir!   

Now again, a 7-3 final, not atypical.  BUT...looking at the scoresheet after the dust settled, one very strange thing emerged:  all nine players today got exactly two singles.  How statistically odd is that?  We'll have to check with Stats, but I'd bet my boots NBF has never seen that occur in a game with at least nine players.  Think about it:  there's usually that one guy who goes full Android Pete Rose mode and racks up like six of 'em (historically Pete, lately Adrian), and then there's also usually one other guy who for whatever reason that day couldn't buy a hit with a suitcase full of $20's (often yours truly, but at least *somebody*).   

National Weather Service Bulletin:  The presence of last week's chalk scoreboard still intact indicates unusually low rainfall totals between gamedays.  Therefore a lipbalm advisory is in effect until 2:00 PM Monday afternoon for Montgomery, Darke, and parts of Mercer County.   And parts of Adrian's mom. 

Andy, Brad, J D, Peter, Eric:  12 Hits, 7 Runs

Adrian, Jeff, Tom, Zach:  10 Hits, 3 Runs

HR:  J D, Zach