"The Battyr" (with apologies to William Blake)

Battyr, Battyr, swinging tight,

At the curveball lost in flight;

What mere plastic Wiffle bat

Could ever hit a pitch like that?

 

Your launch angle must've yielded

Cuz your pop-up's cleanly fielded.

Failure's all that you have gotten,

Now your stats are looking rotten.

 

When the laws of physics fail,

The batter's eye is no avail;

For as you take your backwards K,

Morale and hope both fade away.

 

Your teammates, though your praise they sing,

Cannot improve your crappy swing;

The proof is more than anecdotal:

Your discipline was less than total.

 

Later at the theory den,

Reflecting on what might've been,

It's clear that you're no Ted Kluszewski

As you sit and mull your brewsky.

 

O Beer, you'll always see us through!

Both cause-of and solution-to. 

So even when your hitting's lame,

Remember boys:  IT'S JUST A GAME.

My Dog Ate the Stats Sheet

I spent as much time writing this blog as my team spent with a lead.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. Thirteen people showed up to play wiffle today. Then this happened..

Salami

The rest of the morning was this...

Adrian, JD, Mark, Matt, Zach, Eric, Jeff - 0 runs, 8 hits

Andy, Hansoo, Peter, Tim, Dewey, Tony - 13 runs, 22 hits

HR: Andy, Hansoo, Peter, Dewey

Redemption is a 34-1/2 Course Meal

2019 Season Opener is a Barn-burner!

Cycles were threatened, balls were cracked, and ethics sorely challenged as an elite eight took to the balmy blacktops of NBF this morning for a game that, while not setting any fielding records, nevertheless saw terrific stuff at both ends of the battery.  The Vans pounced early and often, led by Sir Bob-of-the-hot-bat who would chalk four ribbies on the day.  But just when things looked insurmountably nonethical, the Hungry Halens came roaring back in a J. D. "The Run Ruling Redeemer"-induced megacomeback for the ages.  Both teams would add a few more in late innings, but at the end of Today's Titanic Struggle™ the home team would remain the only one in double digits to take home the honors.

Considering how good the pitching is getting in this league---today especially from Tim "Clemens squared"---it's therefore noteworthy that all eight players chalked at least one RBI.  We'd have to ask Stats, but this author is guessing that that's probably a pretty rare achievement.  So a collective congrats on that.

Adrian, Andy, Bob, Tim  -  9 runs, 20 hits

Hansoo, J. D., Matt, Eric*  -  12 runs, 19 hits  

HR  -  nobody

RBI  -  everybody  

* placed at the end of the batting order for all the usual reasons

Photo Assay

The cure for cabin fever is Pre-season Wiffle. Here are the photos to prove it:

Look at the sheer joy on their faces. Like little boys, again. Who cares if it's 28 degrees?

Andy didn't mind. Hit a dinger that won't count in the stats. But still - look at that smile.

Adrian's day on the mound was ... was not helped by his outfielders ... well, it doesn't count in the stats.

The long dark Winter is over, boys. Time to trod the asphalt once more!

Crunch Time

Shortening days, briskier weather and with the end of daylight savings time looming on the horizon, the 2018 OW&AC season has dwindled down to at most a handful of games left to be played. For some: just one. Knowing the end is nigh, and dark winter approaches, nine hearty wifflers bestrode the asphalt on a mild but blustery morning.

And the result was another lopsided wiffle playoffs game - this time with the home standers on the positive end of another walloping. The Visitors did take the early lead with a parade of singles off of Adrian, whose slick fielding prevented the tallying of any further damage.

The home boys answered with 9 consecutive runs: 6 during Peter's first inning on the mound, 3 during his second. That six-run barrage was capped off by Matt's second Grand Salami of the season, coming with 2 outs and 2 strikes.

Soul-crushing. Which Stats has been doing regularly lately. In his last (final) five games he is a combined 30-for-53 (.566) with 2 homers and 14 RBI - raising his average 61 points from .378 to .439.

(Getting it done down the stretch - that's what earns MVP votes.)

It was also not a stellar day for the Commish at the plate, but we know nothing can wipe the smile off his face because the Boston Red Sox are champions of the American League and the Yankees are not.

In addition to the Sawx' drive for the title, there are a couple of other intriguing things to keep your eye on in the last wiffle game(s):

1. The batting title: Dewey (.489) and Mark W. (.486) are neck and neck but Dewey is actually 12 ABs short of the 100 needed to qualify for the title.

2. Home run king: Tim Y. and JD go into the final games tied at three for the season.

To witness these moments in OW&AC history, one needs to be at the field the next few Saturdays.

Eric, JD, Mark, Peter - 1 run, 12 hits (0.08 OE)
Adrian, Andy, Dewey, Hansoo, Matt - 9 runs, 19 hits (0.47 OE)

HR: Lindsay (2)

Go Sox!!!!

Final score g-1.

C-C-C-Cold

It is believed that there is a rule that we don't play under a certain temperature. There is no general agreement about what that temperature is. Some say 40. Some say 35. Some say 32. Doesn't matter, 'cuz the rule is never enforced. We play if it's dry.

Here's what my phone said this morning. Note the temps. Note the gentle reminder from my phone to get my butt to the park.

We played. And five of the ten guys who showed up were glad we did. If you take away the 8-run inning allowed by Dewey, then it was a tight 1-1 game. But that's a BIG IF, so the actual final score was 9-1. And even that score seems deceptively close. The LongJohns really put a beatdown on the Mukluks - lots of base runners, lots of long at bats.

Peter logged a Mookie-like 6-for-8, including 3 triples and a homer, but just couldn't manage a double so - no cycle. His four RBI were also tops on his team (along with Tim Why).

Mukluks (Adrian, Bob, Dewey, Hansoo, Matt) - 1 run, 14 hits (OE: 0.07)
LongJohns (Eric, Fred, Mark W., Pete, Tim Y.) - 9 runs, 18 hits (OE: 0.50)

HR: Berwald (1)

Offensive Efficiency was Offensive

The advanced analytics of basketball include a stat called Offensive Efficiency, which I think means points divided by possessions. I have no idea what a good OE is for a basketball team but I suppose over 1.0 would be a good one.

Anyway, we can look at a teams ability to convert hits into runs with today's lopsided game as an example.

The losers (Bob, Matt and Pete) generated 3 runs from 18 hits. A rate of 0.1666666 runs per hit.

The Victors (Chris At., Eric Z., Hansoo, and JD) plated 12 runs with 25 hits. A rate of  0.4800000 runs per hit.

Greater efficiency means a win.

Also more hits.

Also better pitching.

Also better fielding.

We sucked.

Bob, Matt, Pete - 3 runs, 18 hits
Chris At., Eric Z., Hansoo, J.D. - 12 runs, 25 hits

HR: Whitlock (3)