If this were an ordinary weekend..

So much to report from the asphalt BUT...

Ordinarily I would write in breathless prose about the return of Dewey to Nance Bradds Field and to our spirited bat-and-ball play. Ordinarily, I would mercilessly savage Kurt for sitting on his league leading batting average. Ordinarily, I would make jokes about this being an "offensive" game after 11 runs were scored in the first inning, and then none in the remaining five.

But this is no ORDINARY weekend, dear wifflers. For this weekend sees the return of ..

Yes, Matt passed Kurt in the batting stats and sits at the head of the table. Sure, Adrian was run-ruled in the first. Yup, they used the black bat named Esther. But none of that is important.

Sunday night on CBS, Star Trek returns to serial television for the first time since 2005!!!!!

REALLY WHAT COULD BE MORE AWESOME THAN THIS?!?!?!?

Adrian, Andy, Matt - 1 run, 15 hits

Dewey, Hansoo, Peter - 10 runs, 19 hits

HR: None

Two is the One

It's not enough to induce the easy fly ball - your outfield has to CATCH them. 

The visitors dropped three easy fly balls that should have been three outs and could have been four outs. These misplays led directly to three home-team runs in a game the home boys won 4 to 2.

Nonetheless is was a good, tight contest; the visitors loaded the bases after two were out in the top of the ninth. Hansoo came to bat to face Andy... and struck out to end the day.

Adrian, Hansoo, Matt, Peter, Eric Z. - 2 runs, 17 hits
Andy, Bob, Kurt, Mark - 4 runs, 20 hits

HR: none

Monday Morning Wiffle, Live From Budget Field

So there was this:

So Peter had to do this:

Which had the side benefit of allowing us to do this:

Bob got a single on that pitch, by the way. Welcome to Budget Field!

Fred, Matt, Mark, Ryan, Hansoo - 5 runs, 18 hits
Bob, JD, Kurt, Peter - 2 runs, 14 hits

HR: Ha (4)

Commish Walks 'Em Off

Quite a day on the asphalt. Eight were there and seven played; eight were witness to something seldom seen in sport.

First to the game. The home team of Bob, Kurt and Peter took a 4-0 lead in the bottom of the first inning. It really looked like it would be more but Adrian turned the timeliest, clutchiest double play to squelch the rally. That 4-0 score stood pat until the top of the eighth inning.

In that 8th inning, Peter was pitching for his third turn on the bump. Anonymous sources insinuated that Peter had drawn the pitching rubber a little further back today - to goose the offense. IF so, it came back to bite Peter himself as he allowed 6 runs to the visiting Adrian, Andy, Eric K., and JD. JD contributed 5 of those 6 rbis in that inning. Heck of a day.

So, to the moment. Bottom of the ninth, Adrian on the mound for HIS third turn with the ball. A merry-go-round of singles and a couple of outs has us with a 6-6 tie, two outs and teh bases loaded. Who's at the plate?

Peter.

The long AB (and the game) ends with a bouncing single to the first base side of the pitcher. Walk off, 7-6 win for the home team.

Know this: no other team game is played in a way that would allow one player to be goat and hero in one game. Not even modern baseball, the way it's played today. Volleyball maybe? Heck of a day. And eight were there to see it.

Adrian, Andy, Eric K., JD - 6 runs, 15 hits
Bob, Kurt, Peter - 7 runs, 17 hits

HR: none

BREAKING NEWS

In a surprise development that caught the Oakwood wiffle community completely off guard, Commissioner Peter Berwald announced an immediate end to the 2017 OW&AC Season. "Considering the constant heat, global warming and how it is only late spring, I came to the undeniably sound conclusion that the season should end now," Berwald said in an emotional statement, holding back the understandable tears. "Effective today, June 17, 2017, all games and stats... are final," he added, solemnly.

While the news came as a shock to wifflers of all stripes, the league's players, young and old unified to support Berwald, lovingly known as "Commish."

"I postulate that Peter did the right thing," said Dr. Kurt Mosser, "since he decided it and he said it, it must be good."

A spokesperson for Brent Mackintosh gave conditional approval of the move adding, "Brent assumes theory sessions will still be scheduled, at least in air conditioned facilities."

Dewey Darden and Mark White were seen simply saluting and beginning their off-season routines.

A downtrodden Eric Zamonski added, "Elizabeth Montgomery was hot."

Lindsay turned heads with his 8-for-10, 5 RBI day.

Matt "Stats" Lindsay, now permanently atop the batting charts for 2017, declined to comment.

FINAL:

Dewey, JD, Peter - 0 runs, 11 hits
Bob, Eric Z., Kurt, Matt - 11 runs, 24 hits.

HR: None

No such thing as Wenis

The blog was going to be glorious this week. Embellished with wenis facts, trivia and lore. Not to mention tons of wenis word play: your puns, your malapropisms.

Much of this would likely been made at the expense of the visitors (Dewey, Andy and Peter) who were out played by an 8-wenis margin. See what I did there?

It would have been a tremendously funny blog entry. But there is no such thing as a wenis. Urban legend, based off an episode of Friends, apparently.

Andy, Dewey, Peter - 3 runs, 13 hits
JD, Kurt, Matt - 11 runs, 22 hits

HR: none

Fantasy Wiffle

The weather and the community conspired against the OW&AC today. Cold and wet, plus the annual Oakwood Bike Safety Rodeo made it impossible to play wiffle. Oh, Well.

NOT!

Because of these unfortunate circumstances, Andy, Bob, Pete did NOT face off against Adrian, JD, and Kurt. These gentlemen did NOT play to a 2-2 tie. Kurt definitely did NOT go 8-for-15 with 2 RBI. Andy certainly did NOT earn the season's first base on balls.

These feats, though they could NOT possibly have occurred, are reflected in the stats, because I am a gullible mensch.

Andy, Bob, Pete - 2 runs, 18 hits
Adrian, JD, Kurt - 2 runs, 18 hits

HR: none (this I believe)