Notes from Saturday May 28, 2011 Game

A World Wiffle Classic as Korea (Han-Soo and Kim) took on the USA (Kurt, Brent and da Commish).

• Brent was the hard luck pitcher, again, surrendering five runs in 2 innings, including Kim's three-run home run, his third of the season.
• Kim's 5-RBI day put him in the league lead for RBIs with 9. 4-for-14 hitting, including the homer, raised his slugging average to .512.
• Han-Soo went 7-for-15 (!!), which actually LOWERED his season batting average (!!!!) to .519. He and Kurt lead the league in hits with 28 a piece.
• Han-Soo and Kim each pitched three innings, and Kim surrendered the only run of the day for his team - a solo homer by Peter Berwald, which pulled him back out in front of the pack in that stat (4).
• Han-Soo's unbelievable hitting and great pitching is not, reportedly, matched with the glove - two dropped fly balls and a clear error on a grounder today. Still, MVP numbers, no question.
• Lost in here is Kurt's day on the mound - 2 innings, 6 batters faced, 6 outs.
• The losing side had scoring chances all morning scattering 10 hits: Kurt 5, Brent 2, Peter 3.

Han-Soo, Kim - 5

Brent, Kurt, Peter - 1

W: Kim

L: Mackintosh

Wiffle Mad Libs!

Can't say how the game went today, since I wasn't there. You are invited to write your own story by filling in the Mad Lib table here and then inserting your selections into the game story.  You may want to print the table out and, remember, it's more fun if you don't read ahead.  Enjoy!

Ref.	Fill in your word(s)	Description
A		Someone you read about in The Oakwood Register
B		a politician
C		a historical figure
D		a current female celebrity
E		a famous musician
F		a famous athlete
G		plural noun #1
H		plural noun #2
I		adjective #1
J		a holiday
K		adverb
L		verb, past tense
M		noun
N		adjective #2
O		a liquid
P		a counter-top kitchen appliance
Q		adjective #3
R		a calendar month
S		adjective #4
T		an aquatic animal
U		superlative adjective (ending in -est)
V		plural noun #3

No better way to start off the [   J    ] weekend, then a good game of Wiffle.  It is [   N   ] to observe such traditions before embarking on six hours of shopping for [ V ]. And we had a fair number of wifflers gather at [   A   ] field this morning to honor Oakwood’s pastime.

The [   G   ] batted first and built a lead [   K   ]. They took to the pitching of [   C   ] in a big way - particularly the off-speed deliveries which were [   L   ] all over the asphalt.  Generating all of the visitors’ RBI was [   E   ], who delivered knocks of the extra-base variety with the bases loaded more than once.

The home team, nicknamed the [   H   ], had a huge [   M   ] to climb to make this a game. The task seemed too great for them, until [   D   ] drove up to deliver [   I   ] cups of [   O   ].  This diversion really woke the home-boys’ spirits and their bats.

The comeback began innocently enough, as [   F   ] sent a [   Q   ] single the opposite way with one out.  But from that point on [   B   ] failed to retire the next ten batters.  The [   H   ] lineup hummed like a [   P   ].  When the onslaught was finally over, it seemed it was [   R   ] already, and the right arm of [   B   ] must have looked like a [   S   ] [   T   ].

It was the [   U   ] comeback in wiffle history!!

For those of you who missed it this long weekend includes another chance to play.  Come on out at 9:00 AM on Monday morning for bonus holiday wiffle!!

Rapturous Wiffie Weather!

A curious thing happened in the first inning of today's game (which was moved up to 8:30 because of the That Day In May events). New guy, Paul Campbell, awaiting his turn in the bottom of the first just up and.. well.. VANISHED!

Paul had made a nice little catch in top of the first; Kurt was working on figuring out how to get under his skin and then - POOF! Oh, well. Just another one-timer who'll never be back, I guess.


Well, with that there were four left for Wiffle. There was some real hope that maybe one or two more would show at the normal time of 9, to be added in. No such luck. Two-on-two it remained; your loss to those who didn't come - the weather was perfect.


Scoreless into the bottom of the third, the home team broke out with two off Stats - triple, double, triple did the damage. Dave E. put those runners on but credit those 2 RBI to Peter Berwald.


Credit Peter with the game saving defensive play of the day, too. Top of the fourth with two on (remarkably against R-Dave) Kurt connected on a blistering liner up the middle. Peter's quick feet got a good jump and he ran the ball down well past the homer line for a harmless out. Dave (from the mound) and Stats (from the batter's box) both admired strike three to end the threat.


When asked later about Dave's pitching Stats, said, "What pitching? I didn't see any pitches." 'Nuff said.


Oh, and while we're at it, let's credit Peter with the Save as well, pitching a scoreless top of the fifth to end That Game in May.


Kurt, Matt - 0
Dave, Peter - 2


W: Berwald
L: Lindsay
S: Berwald

Oh, well...

Wiffle was moved to Sunday in deference to the 2011 Care Walk. As it turned out, Sunday gave us..

So, what are you going to do with the time you would have been playing wiffle this morning? Let us know in the comments.

A Message from Commissioner Peter Berwald

I want to tell you a story today about a special wiffler. His name is Tim Baker.

This is a picture of me with Tim at a Thursday batting practice.

Tim has just the sweetest right handed swing in the League. Tim holds a career .465 slugging average in Wiffle and Ale Club Play. In 144 at-bats in 2010, he mustered 53 hits, including a homer, and 13 RBI. Tim has an exemplary attendance record at Theory. In short, Tim is the very model of a modern wiffler.

But 2011 is a whole different story for Tim. You see, Tim has … a weekend job. And that means Tim can’t play wiffle ball on Saturday mornings like you and me. Tim can only play on weeknights.

But for Tim to play on a weeknight, he needs you and me to be there for him. We need to come through for Tim. On this Thursday night, we were one wiffler short of the four we needed to play.

One.

ONE F@(&!#G WIFFLER!!!

This June and July, will you be there for Tim? Wednesday Night Wiffle @ Nance Bradds.

What if there were a Wiffle game, but nobody brought a ball?

Like a rudderless ship spinning in the North Atlantic Gyre seven wifflers met to play, and not one of us brought a ball. Stats brought a bat and chalk and put down the lines whist Dave (R-OH) walked home to get some balls. The hit lines were pretty good today, foul lines were fair but, naturally something was wrong: the plate was too close to the wall. Also the pitching rubber was not quite directly in line with the plate. More on the rubber later.

They're hard to see in this telephonic photo, but the lines were quite good.

Not having Peter poses another problem - who's to make the teams? Stats refused to even make an attempt. Rather, through the modern magic that is cellular telephonic communication, we called Peter (sidelined at some soccer game) and asked him to make the teams. Worked like a charm.

Home standing Brent, Eric, Kurt and Matt hosted Dave, Hansoo and Kim. Thanks, Commish.

It was a tight, scoreless game until it wasn't. The breakthrough came in the last inning, wherein Brent surrendered four runs, all off the home run bats of Kim, who blasted two VERY deep homers. Dave also hit two past the line, but by such time the defense, slow to respond to stimuli, had learned to position themselves beyond the homer line. In fact Dave's final out was a pulled blast that was caught a good ten feet past the homer line and about 6 feet foul. Sorry, Dave, not your day. It was Kim's; he drove in all four runs today and got the pitching win.

Did I mention that this final inning was the FOURTH inning? Which I think has to bring our little discussion here back to the Pitching Rubber. Yes, today the deep rubber finally caught up with Brent, but that's not the story of the day. The deep rubber is really slowing down the game. Pitchers are having a very hard time hitting the zone, still (despite five, yes five, Beltrans in the first nine outs of the morning). And compounding the issue is that the batters, with the extra second to look at the pitch, are getting fooled less. TPD means both "total plate discipline" and "thirty pitch doldrum." Folks, we had only 40 At-Bats today, total. It's taking forever to complete these at bats. Brent probably threw fewer pitches than anyone, today, and his half inning was one of the shortest, timewise, of all. Not sure if that's how he saw it, though.

Anyway, we gotta think about this.

The other unpleasant aspect of this game was that someone down Aberdeen Avenue was taking down a tree, sawing it up and mulching the branches.  The constant noise cut down about 95% of the chatter, and made it impossible to hear some foul tips.

Dave, Hansoo, Kim - 4
Brent, Eric, Kurt, Matt - 0

W: Kim
L: Mackintosh

"Go Play in Traffic"

Children's Bike Rodeo Displaces Weekly Wiffle Tradition

That above is the proper headline. What follows is the "story" of our itinerant morning of wiffle ball:

City trucks and police vehicles on the hallowed asphalt made the situation clear - there would be play on Nance Bradds Field, but it would not be the Oakwood Wiffle and Ale Club on this Saturday. Today, the Oakwood Safety Department would be imparting the skills of safe, enjoyable cycling to the next generation of car free Oakwood youth.

Like Moses, da Commish led his flock of dejected, rejected wiffle ball savants to the new promised land...

Chester A. Roush Field

Brent rips a double off Kim

The grounds at "The Roush" have some drawbacks - the pavement is not level, the parking space lines are not aesthetically pleasing, there was a steady wind whilst we played in the shadow of the stadium. But least convivial of all - it is basically a through street. Play was stopped numerous times to allow cars to traverse the diamond. Frankly it would have been safer to play amongst the toddlers on bikes.

So that's the story; we risked our lives to play wiffle in an unsafe locale so that the children could learn to joys of cycling. Put another way - we are saints.

That is not how other news agencies have reported this story, however. To wit, headlines and samples from from around the news biz about our adventure:

Fox News:

Wiffler Dems Decry "Police Activity"

Dayton Daily News:
[Actually the DDN just picked up an AP wire copy for this report]

Dayton Daily News Neighbors Section

Oakwood Families Pleased Police Evicted Vagrants from Playground

with a small sidebar:
Kettering Families Concerned By Sudden Influx of Vagrants

Oakwood Register:

Delightful Bike Rodeo Finally Brings Life to Unused Schoolyard

The Register piece will elicit a letter to the editor one week later bemoaning that the children of Oakwood cannot find their own fun without it being developed, managed and of course FUNDED by the nanny state. This letter will bring forth a reply penned by Kurt Mosser, under the pseudonym of "Eric Zamonski," which will take apart the prior letter and deride its author in a way only highbrow liberal intellectuals will understand.  Most readers will think Kurt was thanking the Oakwood Mom's Club for volunteering at Wright Library. Brilliant.

Anyway a game was played and Peter hit two home runs in the same inning off Hansoo. These were soaring, arcing blasts to left, that captured the full majesty of this great game. Not even the outfield of Brent and Eric ("The Unstoppable Wall") could prevent these blasts.

Looks like Hansoo had a homer of his own later. Game ended in a tie.

Brent, Eric, Hansoo - 3
Kim, Matt (part time), Peter - 3

Full stats will be uploaded later (maybe Sunday). Whenever. Complete stats through this game are now up to date. Allow me to say, Hansoo Ha is having a fine season.