"DAH-Da-Da-Dooh" MONDAY NIGHT WHIFFLE!

The asphalt was a busy place at 6:30 on a Monday.  Seven kids played baseball on the painted diamond; five men whiffled against the wall.  The Commish will tell you that the teams were set by our apparel, and you would be forgiven for believing him.  (Three arrived in red t-shirts with numbers on the back.  Kurt Mosser was evoking the hitting spirits with a Pujols #5.  Stats was channeling the pitching karma with a Strasburg #37.  Tim was reliving his charity softball past with a nameless #21.  They truly did look like a "team.")

BUT DO NOT BE FOOLED.  The Commissioner's easy demeanor and casual digs at Red Sox opponents mask the true method of his team making.  Peter Berwald is a keen study of the Matchup Matrix!  Using this information he shrewdly placed Tim and Matt and Kurt on his opposing team, because he was aware that they all bat under .200 against his pitching.  At least that's how it was at the games first pitch.

Peter did complete three innings of scoreless pitching on this night (including turning two fly-ball double plays!), but his teammate, Eric the Bandit was not so fortunate.  With two "Kurts" on and two out in the top of the second, Stats found a way to send an opposite field triple towards the school wall to plate 2 ghosties.  Peter was playing Stats to pull and there was no shot at a flyout.  They would prove to be the Visitors' only runs - and all they'd need.

Pete and Eric managed just one hit through four offensive innings.  They put Stats in a jam in the 5th with second and third and none out.  Three straight K's ended this threat.  That left Tim to close it in the 6th.

Tim immediately got in trouble - two on none out, and one run already in.  Time to pull out the Cricket pitching!  A strikeout of the Bandit was followed by a dramatic game-ending ground-ball double play.  Yes, that's three DPs on the night.  Must have been that sun in the west thing.

Pujols, Strasburg, Tim - 2
Commish, Bandit - 1

Notes:

The commish kept up his torrid pitching pace - except against Kurt who started the night 6 for 6, and ended it 6 for 8.

Two saves in three days has gone to Tim's head.  So much so that he hit like a pitcher: 0 for 8 with 6 K's.  It would have been better if he never swung at all because the two he put in play went for fly-ball double plays.  That's right: 8 ABs for 10 outs.  This made the game ending DP all the sweeter.

Time of Game: 45 Minutes!

With threatening skies above the six whifflers assembled this morning set about to organize a game in workmanlike fashion.  The lines were chalked, the sides chosen, the game was on!  The visiting team made credible threats in every inning - loading the bases against Kurt; two on, nobody out against The Commissioner - but only managed to score with Brent Mackintosh (still woozy from his Blackhawks) pitching the holey sphere.

RBI doubles from Tim and The Artist cleared the table set by the rat-a-tat-tat of Stats' parade of singles.  Once Brent had finally found a third out, four runs had scored.  Slumping into a chair Mackintosh could be heard to say, "Patrick Kane.  Patrick Kane.  Patrick Kane."

The four runs were just enough to make up for the three surrendered by Stats in the top of the first.  After loading the bases with two out, Peter Berwald took his place in the box.  Finding a pitch to his liking he lashed a 3-RBI triple that rolled all the way to the fence.  Most men would find that a satisfying day, but the Commish would have, not one, but two home run balls caught for outs in later innings.  It made him rather taciturn.

As Baker took the mound for the bottom of the third, the rains finally arrived.  A steady but light rain during Kurt's AB, which ended with a groundout.  A harder rain hit the bill of Stats' cap as he took away Peter's homerun.  Torrents fell as Brent stepped into the box, as the home side's last chance.  Baker pulled out the Cricket Pitching for Brent, but the wily Chicagoan worked a deep count.  Sheets of rain now fell, and with HALF of his outfield COWERING in a doorway, Tim Baker rips off a nasty curve that somehow Brent puts in play.  Tim, TIM BAKER ladies and gentlemen, RAN (R-A-N!) hard to his right and fielded a grounder deep in the pitchers' triangle to end this game.  A rain-shortened, three-inning final.

Glen, Matt, Tim - 4
Brent, Kurt, Pete - 3

And then the skies really opened up, threatening the scoresheet:

While watching the rain, and concluding that there would be no resuming play, all agreed that this week there would be Wednesday Night Whiffle, 7:00 PM at Smith.

Note to Blog Followers

In an act of audacious hubris, The Artist and I will begin a project to transfer the contents of the Whiffle Blog Archive over to this site.  Because they need preserving.

Those who follow the blog through RSS feeds or Google Reader will see a slew of new posts.  These past posts can be accessed by the curious and the historical research community by following the "Blog Archive" links on the right column.  Old posts will appear filed under 2009 and 2008.

Batter and Pitcher of the Month for May 2010

To remind you of the criteria:
Batter must have a minimum of 16 ABs (5 games times 3.1 AB)
Pitcher must have pitched a minimum of 6 innings (5 games times 1.1 innings)

Batters with 16 ABs: Berwald (47), Cebulash (35), Lindsay (30), Ha (25), Kim (24), Montague (23), Baker (18), Eldridge (16), Zamonski (16).

Batter of the Month for May is Dave Eldridge (11 for 16) - 0.687

Pitchers with 6 innings pitched: Berwald (10.2), Cebulash (6.2)

Pitcher of the Month for May is Peter Berwald - 22 Ks, batters hit only 0.340 of him for the month.

JUST IN - GOLIATH BEATS DAVID!!!

Well fans, it was a gray day that found seven eager wifflers bounding onto the field of dreams at Nancy Bradds Park.  Four of the league's weakest pitchers (combined ERA: 28.85) decided to take on three of its best (combined ERA 6.60) in a classic David vs. Goliath contest.  There was little hope that our boys (Brent, Glen, Ben and Tim) could best these giants of the asphalt (Peter, Dave and Kurt).  Indeed, most predicted a slaughter of, shall we say, biblical proportions and, given the lineups, the general consensus was that anything less than total decimation was essentially a loss.

So, what happened you ask?  Well, Goliath won 7-3.  No news there.

But hey, wait a minute.  What's that?  You want to see that score one more time?   What was it again?  7-3.

That's right.  Your eyes aren't deceiving you.  7-3.  Puny little David scored three runs off the titans of the Funway and kept them to seven.  Sure, they won.  There's no denying that.  But, if you measure a game by more than just runs scored.  If you also measure it by something called heart and determination and the will to compete, then the real winners were our boys.  Your boys, actually, fans.  The ones who work a little harder, run a little faster, sit a little less (at the edges of their lawn chairs, I might add) and strive a little more.   So, they lost.  But they can hold their heads high, as can all who rooted for them.  Secure in the knowledge that deep down, where it counts most, our boys won and they won big.

Who Owns You?

I know I can't hit Dave Eldrige's stuff.  I KNOW IT.  Stats don't lie. But I don't even have to look, because I know it.  But you can look if you want to, with the new Matchup Matrix stats on the blog.

There's a new link under the stats which breaks out every individual matchup from the 2010 Whiffle and Ale League season.  Read across from your name (or any name) to see how you hit off of every pitcher.  Read down your pitching column to see how batters hit off you.

So I looked.  And I'm only 0-for-2 off Republican Dave.  Yes, that's 2 K's, but still.. there's time.

Pitchers' Duel

So you think two perfect games in one baseball season is historic?  How about an eight-inning 1-0 shutout on the Whiffle diamond?

Who could have known that as Dave Eldridge (R-OH) tripled in a run of Stats in the top of the first, that THAT would be it for the day?  Forty-five more outs were recorded over the remaining morning, THIRTY by strikeout. 

There were two separate bases loaded threats faced by Glen, in the fourth and the eighth.  In a moment that told the story for the home five, Eric the Bandit, at the plate with runners at second and third, none out, took a call on his cell in the batters box.  Glen, on the rubber politely demurred when Eric insisted it was an important call.  This encounter would end in The Artist's favor - a swinging K.  This jam, and the one in the eighth ended the same way with the Commish valiantly going down swinging.

Kim, Hansoo, Dave, Glen - 1
Ben, Eric, Kurt, Matt, Peter - 0

C'mon, people: HYDRATE!!

Game Notes:
Dave Eldridge certainly was the player of the day:
Batting: 5 for 8, 2 triples, double, THE RBI
Pitching: 2 innings, 6 batters faced, 6 Ks

PITCHER and BATTER of the Month will be announced on the blog on June 1.  May was a 5-game month so to qualify, one must have had at least 6 innings pitched (5 games x 1.1 innings) or 16 AB (5 games x 3.1 ABs).