Precious And Few Are The Moments We Two Can Throw At The Guy's Head

It was a dazzlingly sunny October morn with temperatures that, like the Channel Islands in WWII, or my pitching, started off nippy but ended up aiding and comforting the enemy.  The vaunted, vintage Vans of Eric-JD-Mark struck early and appeared dominant.  But the Hardy Halens' fielding and batting slowly warmed to the task and they death-by-papercutted the Guys in the White Hats until they'd captured the lead, never to relinquish.  Before he had to dash off early, Zack turned in one of the highest density quality innings you could want:  mowed us down in succession, raced to the plate as leadoff batter, went yard immediately, grabbed his stuff and vanished in a cloud of dust before we knew what hit us.  Fielding was really the theme today tho.  The first two (eventually meaningless) batters of the day got on on two consecutive dropped pop-ups, due mostly to cold hands and a truly blinding morning sun.  But from then on out it seemed everybody brought their track shoes and ate their wheaties today because half the ABs ended in somebody scampering over to snag an out.  With the exception of Pete's 800 or so hard slappers straight to the edge of the pitchers mound which I don't think anybody managed to field off their shins.  Oh, and there were donuts and a brief timeout for some Amish-looking dude and his kids.  All part of the show, folks!  

Eric, JD, Mark ............................... 18 hits, 6 runs

Adrian, Peter, Walker, Zack .......... 21 hits, 8 runs

HRs  =  JD, Walker, Zack

That 14-3 Day in May

So let's just leave it at this: 

Everyone on the winning team had as many (or more) SINGLES than everyone on the losing team had.. AT BATS.

Here are some "action" shots from today's fixture:

Basically Unhittable

Not Enough Hitting

Hansoo, Isaac, Jeff: 14 runs, 31 hits

Eric, JD, Matt, Peter: 3 runs, 11 hits

HR: Jeff (5)

How do YOU spell shellacking? Schellaque?

Proving the Fallacy

They say wiffle is all offense. "Home Run Derby!" "Ghost Runners!"

Well, today's clash of wiffle warriors went 9 innings and saw not one.. not three.. but TWO runs score the whole morning.

Leadoff solo homer by Brad. Ninth inning solo home by J.D. That's it. That's the list! 

Two-Nothing visitors.

By the way (no way to prove this but) Zach - reigning MVP not withstanding - may have had teh worst wiffle day ever. 0-for-6 is the start but he managed to make three of those outs on FOUL BALLS. He also surrendered the first inning, thus "game winning" homer.

Rough shakes, Zach. You'll get 'em next time.

Towering Piso

There's something about Professors of Philosophy. In their prime - they can dominate this league.

Let us take a moment to appreciate the season we are witnessing from one Professor Zach Piso, PhD. Just another day at the park, Zach went 5-for-8 today with 2 singles, a double, a triple, and a homer. That's a cycle of course, and not the first he's hit this year.

The Double and the Triple were each the 10th of the year for him. He is now double digits in doubles, triples and homers.

That homer (and its 3 RBIs) added to his league leading tallies in those categories. Those sit now at 14 HR and 53 RBI.

Going 5-for-8 whilst Jeff went 3-for-8 means Zach now leads the league in BA at 0.518. So that's the Triple Crown, friends. Of course the season isn't over, but still - the numbers are stunning.

But in fact, right now Zach leads the league in...

1. Batting Average
2. Slugging Percentage
3. OPS
4. ABs (tied with Peter)
5. Hits
6. Doubles
7. Triples
8. Home Runs
9. Runs Batted In
10. Wins

That's the Ten-ple Crown!

The only categories he does not lead the league in are singles and walks. These are like 2014-2015 Kurt Mosser numbers. This is 2015 Bryce Harper-level stats right here, and we get to witness it every Saturday.

Eric, Finn, Jeff, Pete, Walker - 0 runs, 8 hits

Adrian, Hansoo, Isaac, Matt, Zach - 8 runs, 20 hits

HR: Zach (14), Adrian (2)

Wiffle Magic, Feel it Happen

While I think most would like to see their wiffle games end up with a score like 10-9, today's 3-2 contest had a certain charm to it. Certainly, the line of the day belonged to Zach: 6-for-9, homer-shy of the cycle, and 2 critical RBI in a game his team won by one run. He also pitched 2 scoreless innings. So, all in all a good day.

But did you hear about Stats' day? Matt, stalwart O's fan, went 2-for-11, with one RBI. His two hits, though, came in the same pivotal inning - the top of the 8th.  Matt led off the inning with a sharp single. This was followed by another hit to put 2 on. Then two outs brought Stats back to the plate with a tie score, two out and the go-ahead run in scoring position. Two strikes, and then a low liner just drops into the doubles area. Matt drove in himself for what proved to be the winning run.

He also pitched the bottom of the eighth. It turned out to be the only inning this year in which a pitcher got zero Ks, and also surrendered no runs. Shut. Down.

You may also not be aware that during Jeff's first inning on the mound - a 1-2-3 inning as per usual - Matt composed a three movement concerto for strings and bassoon.

While patrolling the outfield in the bottom of the fifth, Stats mediated a South American constitutional dispute over the authorities of the upper parliamentary chamber vis-à-vis the the supreme court. 

Further, Matt debunked the Zamonski Hypothesis on Rock & Roll and.. and developed an algorithm that, with 98.23% accuracy explains the adult contemporary chart pattern of Michael McDonald's yacht rock hits between 1979 and midway through 1982. 

Some scholars assert that Stats may have been the author of Merchant of Venice. However, claims that he also authored some of Shakespeare's sonnets are disputed.

But still, all in all - a good day.

Hansoo, Matt, Walker, Zach - 3 runs, 14 hits

Adrian, Andy, Eric, Jeff, Pete - 2 runs, 13 hits

HR: Evans (4, 1 on)

Tradition

Baseball has many holiday traditions: green caps in March, pink and blue bats in May and June, Fourth of July caps, Disco Demolition just to name a few. Because, as we know, OW&AC is just like baseball we have traditions, too.

For instance, the Commissioner uses a different color of chalk each week. Festive!!

And in those special years in which the Saturday before Easter falls during Passover, wifflers (and their fans!) get a special treat. 

WE GET TO DYE THE WIFFLE BALLS!!!!!

So today the Commish (did you know? He also teaches ART) set up a wiffle ball craft table in the visitor dugout (right behind the hand-operated scoreboard). There were lots of pretty colors and glitter glue.

When in a safe space like Nance Bradds Field, and given the time and care, wifflers can really show their empathic and introspective selves through their art. To wit...

So pretty!!

And note how skillfully they made those wiffle holes appear round. The Commish can teach anything. Actually, the photo really doesn't do them justice.

It was really a lot of fun, and a nice diversion from the rigors of what has been a long wiffle season. There was only one fight, when Andy didn't want to share the purple dye. 

Well, anyway, when all the arts and crafts were cleaned up, everyone's hands were dyed and sticky and no one wanted to play wiffle. People were heading back to their cars and honeydo lists. 

But the the Commish took off his Artsy Beret and put on his Commissioner Helmet and insisted we play wiffle. So we did.

Adrian, Hansoo, Jeff, Matt - 0 runs, 7 hits

Andy, Isaac, Peter, Walker - 8 runs, 15 hits

HR: Evans (1), Bokros (1)

The wind giveth, and the wind taketh away

Opening Day is an all-around feel good day. Everyone is in the best shape of their lives. A whole season of possibilities (all of them good) lay ahead. The wiffle balls are shiny and new.

No less than 12 wifflers answered the irresistible siren call of the season opener. And as Zach let fly the first pitch in anger under a sunny, breezy sky, all the elements of nature were in perfect balance and all was seen to be good.

Except there were no donuts. How the #^@% are we supposed to have OPENING FRICKIN' DAY without donuts?!?!? Pageantry and nostalgia.. for naught.

Until J.D. solved this problem by running to Ashley's in the top of the second and got a box of carb-o-liscious pastry. Today's MVP: J.D.

Oh, there was a game, too. Home-standers took this one 4-1. Wind-blown blast of the day came off the childish red bat as swung by Walker, making the most of a pitch by Matt. That three-run blast was the margin of victory.

There were other wind aided hits as the ball danced away from the outfielders' hands. Also, dibbled foul balls were blown back fair for outs.

The stats page got a great start to the season as 12 gentlemen posted ABs. Check them out all season for the link here at the blog.

Adrian, Andy, Isaac, Hansoo, Matt, Peter - 1 run, 12 hits

Eric, JD, Jeff, Tom, Walker, Zach - 4 runs, 16 hits

HR: Berwald the Younger (1)